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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
This article has been viewed 8,133 times.
Do you want to call the guy you have a crush on but don’t know what to say? Or maybe you just don’t know how to talk to the guy you’re dating on the phone? Whether it’s your crush or your boyfriend, it’s hard to know what to say to a guy on the phone. Here are a few great ways to apply when calling the special guy in your life.
Steps
Call the guy you have a crush on
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Think about what to say. Before you pick up the phone, think about a few topics that you know will spark his interest. Discuss his favorite movie, the sport he plays, or the video game he enjoys to bring him into the conversation and learn more about him. Maybe you’re in the same class and you need help with your homework. You can write down a list of essential topics, but don’t rely too much on this list. Let things happen naturally and spontaneously.
- Ask him questions like, “Tell me how football practice went last night?” or “What are you going to write about for your final research thesis?” to get him talking about things he likes or knows. These open-ended questions will keep him open to discussion and motivate him to talk.
- Make sure you focus on a few topics that you are more or less knowledgeable about. You don’t want to look fake or rehearsed when talking about these topics. [1] X Research Source
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Relax. Once you’ve planned what you want to say, take a few deep breaths. If you look stressed and worried, then there’s a good chance that he’ll feel uncomfortable too, or you could unknowingly make him nervous as well. Just act natural, be yourself and remember that he’s just a guy like everyone else.
- Make sure you are comfortable and not disturbed. At this point, you will be more relaxed and confident in the conversation.
- You’re probably not alone in feeling anxious. If you’ve ever given him the green light to let him know that you like him, he’s probably also waiting for a clearer signal that you really have feelings for him. Phone calls are a great way to communicate this. [2] X Research Source
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Find the right opening greeting. Whether he or anyone else picks up the phone, or he’s not there, you should think about what you’re going to say. When he answers the phone, greet him casually and enthusiastically. Since you and him have never talked on the phone before, make sure you mention who you are, by saying “Hi, it’s Mai. How are you these days? ?” Usually people’s voice over the phone will be different from their usual voice. [3] X Research Sources
- If someone answers the phone without being the guy, don’t be afraid to ask about him. Just be polite and ask if he’s there.
- If you get a voicemail from him, stay calm. Leave a message letting him know who you are, your phone number, and that you want him to call you back. If you think your date is a little cute and interesting, leave a funny message, such as “When you call me, if I can’t reach you, it means I’m gone. out or abducted by aliens”. This shows that you know what kind of person he is and that you’re just messing around with him.
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Ask leading questions. Ask questions that have more than one word answers, such as “How do you feel about the movie you saw last weekend?” or “What’s the best part of the new game you just bought?” This is a good opportunity to take advantage of the list of topics that you have thought about before you call him. Find ways to cover these topics and ask questions about them. This will help him take the initiative to talk about his interests and make him realize that you are interested in him. [4] X Research Sources
- Try to avoid questions like “What’s wrong?” These questions are vague and don’t lead the story in any particular direction. You should also avoid asking about his favorite foods or colors because they are too general and make you look disinterested or interested. This is the time to show him how great you are. [5] X Research Sources
Joshua Pompey
Love consultant
Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
Joshua Pompey
Love consultant
Love consultant
Try sharing about unexpected first dates to help keep the get-togethers interesting. Most people go through a bad date in their life, or maybe you just received a creepy text message online. Sharing these gives you more topics to talk about as well as shows that you’re not like that.
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Listen. You won’t want to have a monologue during the conversation, so make sure you listen to him as much as you speak. No one likes to be silent during a phone conversation. Also, pay attention to when he answers your questions. React to what he has to say by giving your opinion when needed or laughing when he makes a joke or says something funny.
- Even if you have something you really want to say, remember not to interrupt him. Don’t be rude and give him time to let him know what he thinks. He must really want to hear what you have to say, just waiting for the right moment to give your feedback. [6] X Research Sources[7] X Research Sources
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In-depth answer. Pay attention to the questions he asks you. Give appropriate and complete answers to his questions. If you keep your answers short and over-the-top, he may assume you’re not interested. You want him to know that you’re interested and that you just want to talk to him. Also, cleverly incorporate some of your interests into your answer, with open-ended topics like “I’ve never played video games, but I’m a huge board game fan.” These topics will reveal a little about you and help the two of you get to know each other better. [8] X Research Sources
- Don’t share too much. You should save a few topics of conversation for the date until he asks you out. In addition, you will also make him feel curious. [9] X Research Source
- Try not to sound arrogant. You don’t want him to think you’re pompous or overreacting. This may cause him to wonder if he should continue contacting you in the future.
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Brief phone chat. Find a quiet place to end the conversation without feeling rude. You can use real reasons or excuses, but still end the conversation even if it’s still going in a good direction. This will make him more curious and prompt him to call you again next time. Try to say something like, “I had a good time chatting with you, but I have a coffee date with my friend in about 30 minutes.” This lets him know that you like him, but it also implicitly suggests that you won’t be sitting at home just waiting for the phone. [10] X Research Source
- Do not hold the phone and talk to him for too long. If either of you pauses for too long or is trying to fill the void when you run out of things to talk about, it means the two of you have been talking for quite some time. Find a way to continue the conversation before hanging up. It should not end halfway. [11] X Research Source
- Most guys don’t like talking on the phone, so a long conversation isn’t what he wants. You also don’t want to run out of topics to talk about. [12] X Research Source
Chat with boyfriend
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Relax. Even if you’re dating someone, calling them on the phone can be a stressful experience. Remember to always stay calm. He is your lover, so you should not stress too much, even if this relationship is just budding. You know that he likes you and will be happy to talk to you on the phone.
- Make sure you are in a quiet and comfortable place. Now you will be able to relax and talk longer without interruption.
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Think about what to say. If the last time you tried to fill in the void was when you ran out of things to say, think about what you want to know about your boyfriend before you call him. Did he just buy and test a new game? Ask him if he likes the game and why. Try to remember the little details he mentioned the last time you were together, like, “So you were working on that piece of paper a few days ago?” This way, he’ll know that you notice him when you’re together and understands your interest.
- This is especially helpful if you realize you ran out of topics to talk about the last time the two of you were together or talking on the phone. That does not mean that the relationship between the two is fading, but simply that the two of you are still shy or don’t know much about each other.
Joshua Pompey
Love consultant
Joshua Pompey is a relationship consultant with over 10 years of experience advising clients in the online dating world. Joshua has been running his relationship consulting firm since 2009 with a 99% success rate. His work has been featured on CNBC, Good Morning America, Wired and Refinery29 and he is considered the best online relationship consultant in the world.
Joshua Pompey
Love consultant
Love consultant
Try talking about whatever you just did. Try to keep things as natural as possible. For example, you could say, “I just got home from the gym,” and from there you could move on to a conversation about exercise.
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Call the guy. Don’t just wait for a phone call from him. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean he has to be proactive in every way. Taking the initiative to call will help him understand that you are thinking about him, care about him, and still pay attention to him.
- Make sure you don’t call him too much. This act is like stalking and you don’t want to make him feel suffocated. Keep everything in balance. [13] X Research Source
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Ask about important things. Don’t be afraid to ask personal or difficult questions. Ask about his future goals, ambitions, or what in the world scares him the most. Try using open-ended questions to help him share as much information as he wants, for example, “I know your major is in civics. So, what’s your dream job?” This helps him understand that you are personally interested in him and that you want to get to know other aspects of his personality better. [14] X Research Source
- Don’t ask questions like where he thinks the relationship is going or other questions related to your relationship. This will make him nervous or uncomfortable.
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In-depth answer. Pay attention to the questions he asks you. Give appropriate and complete answers to his questions. If you keep your answers short and over-the-top, he’ll assume you’re mad at him. [15] X Research Source
- Don’t share too much. Even if you’re trying to get to know each other better, it’s always better to save a few topics of conversation for your next date so that your relationship remains mysterious. [16] X Research Source
- Try not to sound arrogant. Don’t make him think you’re pompous or overreacting.
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Discuss common interests. Choose a hobby that you know you both have in common. That way, you’ll both have more to talk about, and you’ll be able to find some similarities. By giving your point of view, you’ll show him that you have your own thoughts but still have the same interests as him. [17] X Research Source
- Avoid talking about topics you know you will object to. If he does, tell him the truth and let him know that you agree with him, and subtly steer the conversation toward a safer topic with phrases like “I don’t necessarily agree with the policy.” But I totally agree with your stance on this new health certificate.” There should be no unnecessary arguments or conflicts when talking to each other on the phone.
John Keegan
Marriage and Love Expert
John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
John Keegan
Marriage and Love Expert
Marriage and Love Expert
Try giving him compliments. When talking on the phone with someone you like, give them a compliment, such as “Listening to your voice on the phone is like listening to a melodious song”. Show romance and talk about what you want both of you to see or do together. You can also tell a story about how you saw something that made you miss him.
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Listen. Whether you ignore what he’s discussing or he’s told this story before, always listen to what he has to say. When he answers your question, save it and refer back to it next time, or use these answers to learn more about him. Don’t just monologue during the conversation. Show him that you’re not always in control of the conversation.
- Don’t be afraid of the silence. A pause in conversation doesn’t mean the phone conversation is going in a bad way. Silence means the two of you feel more comfortable with each other and enjoy each other’s presence. [18] X Research Sources
Advice
- If things don’t go as planned, don’t worry too much. You always have a chance to try again. If this is your first phone conversation and it’s also a disaster, that means he’s not the man for your life.
- In case you are confused, ask him to hold the phone for a few seconds and put it down. Then, calm down and think of something fun to start the conversation again, such as “Sorry to keep you waiting, my sister just called. Speaking of which, sister and I just went to the museum last week. Tell me which artist you admire and why?”
- Try not to eat out loud, gasp, or talk to other people while you’re on the phone with him. This makes you look disinterested and is rude.
- Never ignore him when he’s trying to strike up a conversation with you.
- Ask him what he really likes and really wants to share, and show your interest in him.
X
This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
This article has been viewed 8,133 times.
Do you want to call the guy you have a crush on but don’t know what to say? Or maybe you just don’t know how to talk to the guy you’re dating on the phone? Whether it’s your crush or your boyfriend, it’s hard to know what to say to a guy on the phone. Here are a few great ways to apply when calling the special guy in your life.
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