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Personality is the set of patterns — thoughts, behaviors, and feelings — that make up who you are. And you know what? You can change the template. It will take some effort, but if you’re really dedicated to the idea, anything is possible. However, you need to remember that your old personality will often shine as our beliefs and thoughts are shaped by life experiences.
Steps
Setting up the platform
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Write down your plan. This is an action that consists of two parts: what you want to change and what you want to be. You cannot own one part without the other part. This is the great effort you need to achieve; You must know the battle of your choice well before you start.
- How will the new personality you plan to possess contribute to your development? Many people in this stage come to the conclusion that changing your personality is not necessary, but simply changing a small habit that has a negative effect on your interactions with others. Is just tweaking enough to be successful?
- If you hope to be like someone, you should clearly define what you want to emulate. Don’t just look at the person and say “Yes, I want to be like that”. Clearly identify the element you admire – is it because of the way they handled the situation? Their way of talking? The way they walk or move? More importantly, do they contribute to their happiness?
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Tell others. Part of the reason Alcoholics Anonymous is so successful is because you can talk about topics you don’t usually discuss, and you’re completely open about it. Having someone to hold you accountable to yourself will provide you with an extrinsic motivation that wouldn’t be possible if you were on your own.
- Talk to your friends about what you’re hoping to achieve. If they’re a trusted friend, they’ll help keep you on track (whether by telling you you’re acting weird or by helping you stay on track). Intellectual capacity and a more foresight eye will help you know how to behave and what impression you are making.
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Set up a reward system. The reward can be anything. Everything . It could be something as small as transferring a marble from one bag to another or as big as a vacation. Whatever it is, make it worth it.
- And you should set milestones along the way. If you walk up to some pretty girl and utter a word, very good. This is an achievement. If you walk up to her next week and tell her a complete anecdote, great! You need to set up rewards for everything; Everything is a challenge.
Changing patterns of thinking
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Stop labeling yourself. When you think of yourself as shy and reserved, you use it as a defense. Why don’t you go to that party on Friday?…That’s right. You have no reason at all. When you stop thinking about yourself one way or another, the world opens up before your eyes.
- You are constantly changing. If you think of yourself as someone who is overly passionate about music, you will find yourself possessing these traits. But if you realize that you are always growing and changing, you will be more open to opportunities that inspire growth, opportunities that you would normally avoid.
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Stop thinking in “fixed” language. Similar to labeling yourself, you should stop thinking in one direction. Boys aren’t scary, authorities aren’t evil, and textbooks really help. Once you become aware that it is your opinion of something that determines what it means to you, you will find that there are more possibilities, and therefore more choices, for behavior. mine.
- Some people consider certain traits to be “fixed” and have a significant impact on how they behave. The opposite of this would be the “always evolving” mindset, in which the person thinks that traits are malleable and constantly changing. This mindset develops quite early in childhood and can be included in personality. If you think things are “fixed,” you won’t believe you can change them. How will you see the world? It can determine how you see yourself in a relationship, how you deal with conflicts, and how quickly you can bounce back from setbacks. [1] X Research Source
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Eliminate negative thoughts. Just stop. The beauty of your brain is part of you, and so you need to control it. If you find yourself thinking, “Oh my god, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” you won’t be able to do something. When the voice starts to ring, you should stop it. It doesn’t help you.
- When the voice speaks, make it sound like Donald Duck. As such, it will be difficult for you to take it seriously.
- Keep your chin up. Literally. Changing your body language will change how you feel and think.
Changing the pattern of feeling
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Pretend until you make it. In Zen Buddhism there is a saying that the way out is through the main door. If you want to be less shy, you need to practice approaching people and talking to them. If you admire someone who loves to read, you should start reading. Just join it. People often fall into bad habits, and there will be methods to change them. [2] X Research Source
- No one knows that deep down inside you are feeling as if you are about to die. Do you know why? Because it will soon disappear. Your mind has an extraordinary ability to adapt. The element that once gave you chills, if given enough time to practice, it will only exist in the past.
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Assume that you have a different personality. So the acting method has a bad reputation, but if Dustin Hoffman has done it, we might as well try it. [3] X Source of Research With this method, you completely immerse yourself in another person. That person is not you; which is the person you are trying to be.
- This process will take place 24/7. You need to show the habit of this new personality in every situation. How do they sit? What do their relaxed faces look like? What are their concerns? How do they kill time? Who do they deal with?
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Set aside a specific amount of time to panic. To be sure, asking you to leave yourself completely and build a new personality with the simple power of thought and habit is rather silly. There is no way that can help you maintain it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Therefore, you should give yourself a specific amount of time to feel what you want.
- If you have to attend a rather scary party on Friday, you should tell yourself that Friday night or Saturday morning you can spend 20 minutes completely panicking about it. 20 minutes spent on absurdity and futility. Just have that. Follow it closely. Do you know what will happen? You’ll notice that you don’t even need this amount of time.
Changing patterns of behavior
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Get involved in a new environment. Really, the only way you’ll notice a change in yourself is to add something new to your life. To do this, you need to choose new behaviors, new people, and new activities. You can’t do the same thing over and over and expect different results.
- Start with small things. Join a club. Find a job that is beyond your skills. Start reading books on the subject. Also, you should separate yourself from your old environment. You wouldn’t want to associate with someone who does the exact opposite of what you’re trying to achieve.
- Self-training. If you are afraid of spiders, lock yourself in a room with a spider. Every day, you will get 1 cm closer to the spider. In the end, you will sit right next to it, and even later, you can catch it. Regular exposure will make the brain no longer afraid. Now, replace “spider” with whatever your target is.
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Write diary. You’ll need strong self-awareness to keep track of progress. Journaling will help you organize your thoughts and analyze how you deal with change. Write down what works and vice versa to adjust your method.
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Say “yes”. If it’s hard to put yourself in a new environment, think about it this way: stop turning down opportunities. If you notice signs that your ex thought it was boring, you should reconsider. If a friend asks you to do something completely unfamiliar to you, agree. You will get better because of that.
- However, you need to make safe decisions for yourself. If someone asks you to jump off a cliff, don’t do it. Remember brainstorming.
Add the final adjustment
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Choose clothes. Although it is often said that wood is better than paint, the outfit will help put you in the right mood. While this doesn’t change your personality, it’s also a reminder of the person you’re trying to be.
- It could be little things like wearing a hat. If for you some element is the manifestation of this new person, you should be aware of it. You will easily be able to tune into yourself to reduce cognitive dissonance.
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Choose habits. Clothing and thought patterns may not be enough. You should think about what this new person wants to do and will do. Are they looking for social interaction? Stay away from social media? Read Tuoi Tre newspaper? Whatever it is, do it.
- You don’t have to do big things – the little things work. Does this girl always carry a pink handbag? Does the guy listen to a particular band? Live in that character as much as possible.
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Thought stabilization. Now that you’ve chosen a new routine and possibly new friends and schedules, it’s probably going to be a little difficult for you. It’s important at this time that you cherish yourself, whatever it is and wherever you are. Let’s get to work and decide to keep it up.
- Psychological self-denial is quite dangerous. If successful, it may take time for you to feel that you are truly “yourself”. Relax. This feeling will come as long as you keep your desires in line with happiness.
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Revisit your new personality. Did you achieve what you wanted? Do other people think of you in a more positive way because you act and dress differently now? Are you willing to sacrifice yourself to imitate the ideal person artificially?
- Some people will decide that what they need is not a change in personality, but an acceptance of who they are and a willingness to improve themselves rather than change their personality completely. But making the decision is up to you. You should remember to do this for a good reason.
Advice
- Don’t get upset if you can’t make changes right away; it will take some time.
- If you think because of your parents or someone in your life that you can’t change yourself, you should change in small steps. Cut out the habits you don’t like and form new ones. If your parent asks about what’s going on, explain to them that your self-esteem isn’t the problem, that you’re just trying to be more comfortable with yourself.
- Gradual change; Sudden changes can leave people wondering. State your problem and deal with it. Gradually, it will become natural.
- Start in the summer, and when fall comes, everyone will notice the new you.
- Never change who you are because other people don’t like you. If you’re a nerd, don’t be stylish just because they look “cool”. Consider a rebellious Gothic group in your school. They all laugh at the geek and joke about how one day every school bully will work for them.
- Don’t change to make other people like you. You should only change for yourself – because you want to be a better person.
- It is better to strengthen your character than to try to change your whole self, so you should focus on the positive, gradually eliminate the negative, and remember that no one is perfect. . But you should try your best.
- If you hate yourself, pick someone you like and consider their actions. Always remember to think about the question “what will they do?” before taking action. Hope it helps you.
- Hold your head high, and never give up. Change is hard work, but it’s pretty good and it’s worth it.
- You can also cut your hair, and a new style of dress will also help.
- Make sure close friends or relatives know your plans, in case something doesn’t go as planned.
- Know yourself well, and don’t forget to enjoy every happy moment in life.
Warning
- Be aware that if you make a significant change in your personality, your friends may not like this new you.
X
This article is co-authored by a team of editors and trained researchers who confirm the accuracy and completeness of the article.
The wikiHow Content Management team carefully monitors the work of editors to ensure that every article is up to a high standard of quality.
This article has been viewed 62,137 times.
Personality is the set of patterns — thoughts, behaviors, and feelings — that make up who you are. And you know what? You can change the template. It will take some effort, but if you’re really dedicated to the idea, anything is possible. However, you need to remember that your old personality will often shine as our beliefs and thoughts are shaped by life experiences.
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