How to Build Relationships with Autistic People

Accept who they are and their flaws. On the one hand, not acknowledging them can make you see them as “an autistic friend,” create stereotypes about them, or treat them like a child. On the other hand, refusing to acknowledge their flaws and fail to meet their needs will not help your relationship. It’s a good idea to balance things out by taking their differences as a matter of course, and generally nothing to behold.

• Do not tell others that this friend has autism unless you have their permission.
• If they are in need of help, help them unconditionally. They will be surprised by your kindness, and will also appreciate your understanding. ^[10]

Be clear about how you feel and what you want to do. People with autism often don’t understand cues or cues, so it’s best to express your feelings directly. ^[11] This helps clear up any ambiguity between the two of you, and this way if the autistic person upsets you, they have a chance to make up and learn from it.

• “I’ve had a really bad day at work, and I need some quiet time right now. We should talk later.”
• “Inviting Mr. Hung to go out really gave me a hard time, and I was very surprised when he agreed! I’m looking forward to the date on Friday. Can you advise me what to wear? ”

Accept all their vices and quirks, don’t try to change them. People with autism tend to move, talk, and interact with others in a rather odd way. ^[12] If this oddity holds true for your autistic friend, remember it’s part of who they are, and if you want to be friends, you need to accept them all. those quirks.

• If something is off limits (for example, they play with your hair to the point of annoying you), or something bothers you, you can always explain it to them. What they do makes you feel.
• If they make it clear that they want to look less weird than the average person, you can choose to subtly point out to them the times when they act weird. With clear, concise explanations, and without condescending, you can use this to tell a novice driver how to apply for a freeway lane.

Try to introduce your autistic friend to other friends. If a person with autism is looking to make friends, they will be interested in group activities. Whether their autistic traits manifest themselves clearly or vaguely in a social context, you’ll be surprised at how much other friends accept them! ^[13]

Pay attention to signs of stress, and intervene to help them avoid feeling down or down. If people with autism are under undue pressure, they will eventually choose to scream, cry, or lose the ability to speak. Autistic people may not recognize signs of stress on their own, so if you find them agitated, advise them to take some time off.

• Help them to a peaceful, quiet place, with less noise and traffic.
• Limit their exposure to crowds and strangers. ^[14]
• Ask permission before you touch them. For example, “I want to take your hand and lead you out”. Don’t startle or panic them.
• Avoid criticizing their behavior. They can’t control themselves well right now, and you shouldn’t put extra pressure on them. If you feel overwhelmed, then you should leave.
• Ask them if they want a tight hug. Sometimes this is very helpful.
• Then let them rest, relax for a while. Maybe they need time with you, or want to be alone.

Respect their free will and space, and encourage others to follow suit. The general rule of respect that applies to both normal people and people with autism is: don’t grab their hands/arms/body without permission, don’t steal a toy or something they’re holding play, and think before you speak or act. Some people, including adults, feel that people with disabilities do not need to be treated like normal people.

• If you see someone behaving rudely or looking down on someone with autism, please speak up.
• Encourage your autistic friend to recognize when they are being abused, and stand up for themselves. This is quite difficult for people with autism, especially those with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of on-demand therapy or some experience. terrible.

Ask how you can respond and help them. Understand how to connect with people with autism by talking to them about how it feels to be such aloof. They may want to share useful information with you to help strengthen their relationship with you. ^[15]

• A question as broad as “What are the manifestations of autism?” It’s too vague, and people with autism often won’t be able to describe something so complex in words. Some specific questions like “What does it feel like to be overwhelmed?” or “How can I help you when you’re stressed?” will usually have a more realistic answer.
• Make sure you ask that in a quiet place when you’re alone so you don’t draw too much attention to them. Make sure you speak clearly and honestly, so that the autistic person doesn’t misunderstand or think you’re teasing them.

Avoid adding pressure when autistic people show ‘stims’. Self-stimulating behavior helps people with autism stay calm and in control of their emotions and feelings. For example, if they start giggling and clapping when they see you, it means they really like you. Try to keep in mind that self-stimulating behavior is often beneficial for people with autism, so unless their behavior is extremely disruptive or intrusive in your personal space, learn to accept it. Try taking a few deep breaths if you find yourself annoyed with their behavior. Self-stimulating behavior usually includes: ^[16]

• Play with objects.
• Swinging, swinging.
• Clap hands and fiddle with hands.
• Jump up and down.
• Head banging.
• Screechy.
• Repeatedly feeling the texture of something, such as hair.