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This article was co-written by Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC. Adrian Klaphaak is a career coach and founder of A Path That Fit, a life and career coaching company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He works with individuals who are passionate about making a positive impact on the world and has helped over 1000 people build successful careers and live more purposeful lives.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 18,625 times.
Courage is considered one of the most important human virtues. In fact, in the Middle Ages it was considered one of the four core qualities, and modern psychologists agree with this. [1] X Research Sources[2] X Research Resources Learning how to be courageous, even if it’s just the act of inviting someone you’ve been keeping an eye on for quite some time, isn’t about eliminating fear. . It means learning how to do something despite your fears.
Steps
Building a brave mindset
- Avoiding fears can make them stronger and more fearful. Western cultures view emotions as weakness and often find ways to suppress them. But curbing negative emotions only adds to the fear in the face of them, and thus furthers their power. [4] X Research Sources
- Facing your fears (while keeping yourself safe and lucid) will make your brain less sensitive to fear and make it easier for you to deal with it. [5] X Research Sources
- Reinforce your own success by rewarding yourself when you are able to face your fears. The reward can be physical, such as a good bottle of wine, or spiritual, such as stopping all social interaction and enjoying a show on Netflix.
- Meditation is a method to help you improve mindfulness. Find a quiet position and sit in a comfortable position. You can meditate on a bus, on an airplane, or any other crowded area, but it’s best to start in a quiet place with no distractions. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing (thinking about the word “in” as you inhale and “out” as you exhale can help you focus). Do this exercise for 20 minutes. Try to be aware of the present moment and how you are feeling. If you become distracted by other thoughts, turn your attention back to your breathing.
- When you find yourself overwhelmed by fear, using the methods you have learned from the act of meditation and mindfulness can help you through the process. Focus on your breathing and take deep breaths. Allow yourself to feel negative emotions, but see them as feelings you’re experiencing (for example, if you’re thinking “I’m so scared,” convert it to “I’m having a bad thought.” think I’m scared”). This is a subtle difference, but it will help keep you from being controlled by your own thoughts.
- Visualize that your mind is similar to the sky and your emotions are like the clouds, both negative and positive, because as the clouds pass through the sky, they will help you see them as part of yourself. yourself, but have no right to dictate your life.
- Start with the little things. Start with an action that is less intimidating to you and doesn’t require too much courage to complete. So you can send a friend request on Facebook to someone you like, or have a chat with the cashier before you proceed to ask someone out. [9] X Research Source
- Understand your own limits. There are specific things that we simply cannot do. You probably won’t be able to grab that spider, come out with your true sexuality in front of a boss who isn’t interested in homosexuality, or skydive. No problem. There are fears or limitations that you can completely improve, but sometimes, you will have to give in to something. Sometimes it makes perfect sense not to try to be brave; You won’t be able to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do. You should just focus your courage on doing other things, like putting a glass on the spider so someone else can solve it, or telling your parents about your sexuality instead. because the boss doesn’t like gay people.
- Pretend until you can make it. You can trick your brain into becoming confident by pretending that you’re really confident. Tell yourself that you can invite someone you like to hang out with and, whatever the person’s answer, you won’t care too much about it. You can also improve your own posture to truly feel more confident and empowered. [11] X Research Source You can spread your arms or put your hands behind your head, and push your chest forward.
- Don’t allow failure or limitation to affect you. Failure just means you’re trying; This is a process for you to learn, not avoid. Remember to remind yourself that failure will not shape who you are, unless you allow it.
- Believe in yourself. Courage requires you to believe in yourself. You can tell yourself that you possess many good things that you can give the world. Remember that arrogance and confidence are two completely different things. [12] X Research Source
Have courage in the present
- You should remember that, if the person refuses, this action does not reflect your nature or desires. You should respect their decision and be proud of yourself for being brave!
- Ask to speak to the person privately and have a plan in place for what you will talk about. It’s okay to feel anxious, don’t try to fight this emotion. Just remember to breathe normally and talk with confidence.
- If the conversation doesn’t go as you expected, step back and reassess the situation. If you think about it and feel you are right, you should consider using additional human resources.
- Also, sometimes the best thing you can do is change the job you’re doing; Many people are too stubborn and just because you don’t want to fight doesn’t mean you lack courage.
- If the bully attacks you as a result of a confrontation, you should ask a teacher or parent for help. Recognizing when you need help from others is also an act of courage. It shows that you are being honest with yourself about the current situation.
Conquer fear
- Height
- Snakes and/or Spiders
- Crowd
- Talk to the crowd
- Water
- Storm
- Narrow space
- You can acknowledge your fear by writing about it or speaking it out loud.
- You can rate your fear of something by writing about it on a scale from 0 (no fear) to 100 (extreme fear).
- For example, if you’re afraid to leave the house, you could start by putting on your shoes/sandals as if you were going to go out, but without actually stepping outside.
- Next, you can open the door and take 2 steps out of the house, then 4 steps, and 8 steps, then walk around your block and back home.
- In this method, if you are afraid to leave the house, you will proceed to walk around your block in the first test. Then you’ll try to form the mindset that leaving the house isn’t such a bad thing.
- Next, you will not stop repeating this process until you can completely walk out without fear.
- The goal here is to let yourself know that you don’t have to fear what you’ve always been afraid of; So this is the best cure for irrational fear.
- Visualize what makes you positive. You should try to imagine it with different senses so that it becomes more real.
- For example, if you are thinking about your dog, think about its scent, how it feels when you stroke it, its appearance, and the sounds it makes.
- There are quite a few websites that you can use if you need to chat anonymously. [24] X Research Sources
- Maybe it’s time to talk to someone if you notice that your fear is interfering with your life in a way that you want to change.
Advice
- Being brave requires practice. The more often you face your fears and deal with your negative emotions, the easier this process will become.
- Use your courage to stand up for the defenseless. This will help you deal with your fear and will greatly benefit your community.
- Imagine that you can do this until it becomes a reality.
Warning
- When dealing with a bully, remember to be careful. There is no single best solution when it comes to dealing with bullies and sometimes the best way to do it is not to confront them.
- While the tips in this article may help someone experiencing anxiety, you SHOULD NOT rely on them as a substitute for your doctor or therapist’s advice or medication.
This article was co-written by Adrian Klaphaak, CPCC. Adrian Klaphaak is a career coach and founder of A Path That Fit, a life and career coaching company in the San Francisco Bay Area. He works with individuals who are passionate about making a positive impact on the world and has helped over 1000 people build successful careers and live more purposeful lives.
There are 21 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 18,625 times.
Courage is considered one of the most important human virtues. In fact, in the Middle Ages it was considered one of the four core qualities, and modern psychologists agree with this. [1] X Research Sources[2] X Research Resources Learning how to be courageous, even if it’s just the act of inviting someone you’ve been keeping an eye on for quite some time, isn’t about eliminating fear. . It means learning how to do something despite your fears.
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