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This article was co-written by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a New York-based career and life coaching company. Annie has over 10,000 hours of coaching for clients and her work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine and BBC World News. She provides services individually or in groups, focusing on career, relationships, love life and personal development. Trying to get an MBA from Oxford Brooks University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute, which offers comprehensive coaching certifications. Information: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
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Do you want to be more courageous? In fact, not everyone is born brave – you yourself will become brave over time as you face many experiences in life. Of course, you can absolutely practice to make yourself more courageous by doing what your heart tells you and not being afraid to challenge yourself with a whole new experience, even if deep down inside you are very angry. scared. You will need time and patience with yourself. However, with a positive outlook and helpful mindset, you will find that you are gradually becoming braver than you ever imagined.
Steps
Accept who you are now
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Admit that you are scared. Being brave doesn’t mean you never know what fear is – it means that even though you feel fear, you keep moving forward even when it’s the scariest moment of your life. The more you try to get rid of these feelings of fear, the stronger they become. Instead, have the courage to admit how you feel right now. You’ll feel better about dealing with your emotions when you’re honest with them. [1] X Research Sources[2] X Research Sources
- Speak out your fear. Saying out loud what you’re feeling anxious about is one way to acknowledge the fear and make it more normal. You don’t have to reveal your fear to others, just telling yourself is enough.
- You can try journaling. Write something private but honest about your feelings. Avoid criticizing yourself – it won’t help if you say things like, “I’m just a coward”. You should focus on your true feelings for a moment without giving any harsh criticism, for example, “I’m really scared of surgery tomorrow”.
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Accept the feeling of fear. You should understand that such feelings are completely normal. People’s fear response often stems from the amygdala, a tiny area of the brain known as the “lizard brain”. This area often produces all sorts of different emotions, and everyone experiences it. [3] X Research Source So criticizing yourself for why you’re scared doesn’t make things better, nor does it make you braver. [4] X Research Sources
- You should read a few stories about people who have faced their fears and how they overcame them. This will help you realize that you are not the only one who feels fear, and from there it will be easier for you to accept this feeling.
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Identify your fear. Sometimes, we are often not sure what we are afraid of. That uncertainty can make you more insecure and, in turn, make you feel more fearful. Take some time to determine what is causing this feeling of panic. [5] X Research Sources
- You may find that self-reflection can sometimes help. Try to think things through as specifically and in detail as possible.
- For example: “I feel scared. I felt that fear spreading all over my body. It’s horrible. I don’t know why I feel so scared right now. The cause can stem from feeling insecure about the health of a lover or feeling worried about keeping my current job, or even feeling afraid when my favorite basketball team is in danger of not winning. won the title this season.”
- You may feel better after talking with a mental health professional. Many people believe in the myth that therapy is only for those who have a major problem that they cannot overcome on their own. However, this is not entirely true. If you regularly have trouble dealing with your fear, your doctor or counselor can help you figure out why and give you some tips for overcoming it.
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Consider your fears. We tend to panic when we feel that something is threatening or harming us (or others). Some fears are justified, but others can do more harm than good. Acknowledge your fears and determine if they are positive or negative. [6] X Research Sources[7] X Research Sources
- For example, feeling afraid of skydiving when you have not had a lesson in the subject is considered a reasonable fear. You have no training or skills in this area and this could injure yourself. However, you can overcome this fear by taking a skydiving course and learning more about them. Of course, you will still feel a little bit scared when you are on the plane. But you will try to act as if you can control everything well.
- On the other hand, you may also feel apprehensive about finishing your own booklet and wondering how people will judge it, and this fear really doesn’t help. You can’t control other people’s reactions, but you can completely control what you do. In this case, the only thing holding you back from making decisions is fear.
- Fear can manifest itself as something that cannot be changed and everyone seems to be afraid of it. Take a step back and consider them. For example, thinking “I don’t have the courage to travel alone” suggests that your fear is inherent and constant. Instead, focus on what you can do to overcome that fear, for example thinking, “I’m afraid to travel alone. But I can research about the place I’m going to explore so that I feel more comfortable going there. Maybe I should take a self-defense class to feel stronger.” [8] X Research Sources
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Accept the hurt. A common reason we feel scared is because we worry about getting hurt. Vulnerability comes with uncertainty, pain, and danger. However, being hurt also opens the door for you to learn to love, connect, and empathize. Accepting hurt as a fact of life can help you worry less about the fear you’re experiencing. [9] X Research Source
- One way to be brave is to accept that everything is risky. Everything you do in a day — from getting out of bed to having dinner — carries varying degrees of risk. But that can’t stop you from continuing to exist in this life. And they shouldn’t be the things that frighten you.
- Fear of failure is another very common fear. Don’t think of things in terms of failure or success, but rather in terms of what you can learn from them. This way, things will sometimes turn out to be useful, even if they don’t turn out the way you expected.
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Focus on everything you can control. You can’t control fear – it’s an emotional response that you can’t change. However, you can control what you do in relation to that fear. Focus more on the action, not the spontaneous reaction. [10] X Research Source
- Remember, you cannot manage the consequences of any action. You can only manage what you do. Therefore, stop thinking that you “have to” control how each action you take will have the result – you simply cannot do it. Focus on your actions, not their results.
Build self-confidence
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Find yourself a good example to learn from. If you’re having a hard time figuring out how to get out of your current situation, try to imitate someone who’s facing adversity to see how they get over it. Not only will this give you a bright perspective (“Wow, at least my problems aren’t that bad”), but it will also inspire you to be braver.
- Look around for a role model among people you know. If yes, then ask them how they had the courage to overcome that difficult situation.
- Read more about some brave historical figures. Learn more about the stories of a few famous people who courageously faced adversity in life, such as Theodore Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman or Joan of Arc, the freedom fighter who dared to stand. up against evil, and so on.
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Cultivate a strong will. Courage means that you have to be “tough” when faced with difficult or terrifying circumstances. Even so, strong willpower requires you to be tougher and more determined. To be truly resilient, you need to practice a few things: [11] X Research Sources
- Flexibility. Cognitive flexibility is the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. [12] X Trusted Source Science Direct Going to the source It’s also the ability to resist being overly defensive when something goes wrong, and the ability to find new ways to approach problems or some situation. You can develop flexibility by recognizing the potential to learn in all situations, and by fostering a mindset that prefers curiosity to discovery rather than constant fear. [13] X Research Source
- Dare to challenge yourself. To be courageous in a situation, you must confront it directly. In fact, brave people often examine the situation closely and determine how to approach it, rather than trying to run away or ignore the difficult problem they are facing. Breaking down the condition into various smaller factors can make it easier to deal with them. You can also imagine the best that could happen, rather than some dark one. [14] X Research Source
- Perseverance. Things don’t always go as smoothly as they should. Brave people understand this and accept to take a step back when they stumble. You can help yourself become more persistent by determining what action you should take at every step of the way. It will be easier for you to face obstacles if you know that your next step is completely doable, rather than taking on some big and noble task. [15] X Research Source
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Challenge negative thinking. We often get stuck in useless or “perceived distortions” thinking from time to time. When you find yourself having a negative mindset about yourself or a difficult situation, challenge yourself to see if there’s any evidence that you’re thinking that way, or correct yourself. them in a positive way. [16] X Research Source[17] X Research Source
- Generalizing everything is a common perceptual distortion. For example, thinking, “I’m just a coward” is seen as a general expression of the state of mind, and this is not true at all. You may experience fears, but that doesn’t mean they make you “a coward.”
- Refocus on what you’re feeling at the moment. For example, “I’m nervous about an important date tomorrow because I’m afraid that person won’t like me.” This can help you avoid constantly harboring false or inaccurate beliefs about yourself. [18] X Research Sources
- Exacerbating the problem is also another cognitive distortion that may be responsible for the fear response. When you take things too seriously, you make events or experiences disproportionate until they spiral out of control. For example: “The hostess didn’t even look at me when I passed her in the hall. Maybe she’s mad at me? Maybe I did something wrong? Oh no, she’ll fire me. I will be unemployed and lose my house.” This is of course the worst-case scenario, but it seems unlikely.
- Challenge this thinking by asking yourself to examine the evidence that you are going through each stage of the assumption. For example: “The hostess didn’t even look at me when I passed her in the hall. Maybe she’s mad at me? But it could also be that she’s distracted by everything around her, and that’s why she doesn’t see herself. Assuming she’s mad at me, it doesn’t make any sense. I will ask her again. If everything is fine and she doesn’t get mad at me, then I’ll come back and blame her.” [19] X Research Source
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Reject perfectionism. Perfectionism is the culprit behind many of your fears. We often fear that our efforts won’t yield “perfect” results if we don’t give our best. People often have the illusion that perfectionism is a healthy ambition, or a motive for excellence. In fact, perfectionism is holding us back from experiencing loss or failure – and that’s impossible in this life. [20] X Research Source
- Perfectionism can be the cause of you being so hard on yourself. This means that sometimes you’ll see all of your accomplishments as “failures” because they don’t live up to your unrealistic standards. [21] X Sources of Research For example, a perfectionist might consider getting an 8 in history a “failure” because it is not a perfect score. However, if a student is fair to herself, this is a success for her, because she really did her best in class. Just focusing on the process you’re making rather than the end result will help you beat perfectionism.
- Perfectionism often leads to self-loathing because it focuses only on your shortcomings. It’s hard to show courage if you’re ashamed of yourself. [22] X Research Source
- What’s more, perfectionism often doesn’t put you on the path to success. In fact, individuals who are seen as perfectionists are often less successful than those who experience failures and view them as learning experiences. [23] X Research Sources
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Start each day by asserting yourself. Self-affirmation here includes collecting certain phrases or mantras that are meaningful to you personally. You can repeat them to show kindness and appreciation to yourself. While it may sound cheesy, doing this can actually boost your confidence over time. [24] X Research Sources[25] X Research Sources
- For example, you could say something like “I accept myself for who I am from today” or “I am worthy of love”.
- You can also focus on self-affirmation in terms of increasing courage. For example, you could say, “I can be brave today” or “I am strong enough to face any difficulties I will face today”.
- Remember that this self-affirmation should focus on yourself. And the important thing here is that you cannot manage other people. For example, a self-affirming statement can be helpful such as: “I will try to master my own fear today. I can’t do anything but do my best. I can’t control how other people act or react to me.”
- Express your affirmation in a positive light. People tend to react negatively to statements that are negative, even when they have a positive connotation. Instead of saying to yourself, “I won’t let my fear overwhelm me today,” say something like, “I can face my fears because I’m a strong person.” [26] X Research Sources
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Separate yourself from fear. Sometimes it’s better to see your fear as something separate from yourself. Visualizing your fears as an isolated organism can help you control them more easily. [27] X Research Source
- For example, imagine that your fear is like a little turtle. Whenever the tortoise feels scared, it will retract its head into its shell. Right now, it can’t do or see anything and this obviously doesn’t help. You should visualize your “fear as the turtle’s fear” and control it by reassuring yourself that you are doing what is under your control and that there is nothing to worry about what you cannot do.
- Using a funny or amusing image can make some of the power of fear disappear by making it amusingly amusing. (Looks like the Harry Potter spell can help me, right? Riddikulus! )
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Seek help from friends around. Sometimes, just a word of encouragement from a friend or loved one is enough to help you when you’re feeling shaky. Surround yourself with people who know how to accept hurt and are trying to be courageous, rather than individuals whose mindset is dominated by fear. [28] X Research Sources
- People are often prone to “emotional contagion.” That is to say, just as you are susceptible to a cold, you may also be susceptible to emotional “sickness” from those around you. The important thing here is that you should associate with someone who accepts themselves and has a courageous nature. If most of the time you hang out with the fearful individual (and don’t even do anything to overcome that fear), chances are you’ll have a harder time overcoming your fear. of yourself. [29] X Research Sources
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Attempts to complete difficult tasks. Succeeding in a few challenging areas can help boost your self-confidence. Even if you don’t immediately understand the task you’re undertaking, treat this challenge as a learning experience and remind yourself that you can spend as much time as possible learning more. [30] X Research Source
- For example, you might aim to learn guitar, cook French food like a pro, or get certified in scuba diving – and the only limit is your imagination.
- Set goals and strive to overcome challenges that are meaningful to you personally. One surefire way to test your confidence is to constantly compare yourself to others. Don’t worry about what others will think of your goals; make them your own instead.
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Practice mindfulness. One reason so many people struggle with being brave is that we often run away from feelings of sadness, anger, or discouragement, so that we “ignore” any pain we feel. and others are experiencing. Training your mind to accept your present experience without any criticism can help acquaint you with negative as well as positive emotions. From there, you can feel more courageous. [31] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Mindfulness meditation can be a great way to practice this skill. You can join a meditation class or practice on your own. [32] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to source
- The University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) often offers many downloadable meditation guides. [33] X Research Resources The University of California at San Diego (UCSD) also recommends many downloadable meditation guides in MP3 format. [34] X Research Resources Harvard Pilgrim’s “Mind the Moment” program can also provide you with a free course and mindfulness practice videos.
Practice courage every day
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Learn to accept uncertainty. Uncertainty is often seen as a source of much fear. However, it is entirely possible to learn to overcome this condition by gradually adapting it to your daily experience. This will help increase your confidence and your ability to deal with uncertainty, so you can easily do things with your own courage. [35] X Research Source[36] X Research Source[37] X Research Source
- The “zero tolerance for anything unclear” is often a source of insecurity. You will have a hard time accepting that something negative happens in a given situation. Sometimes, you may even overestimate the danger of things or even refuse to act because you worry about the end result. [38] X Research Source
- Get in the habit of journaling throughout the day, and note moments when you feel confused, anxious, or scared. Write down in detail what caused the emotion. Also, don’t forget to take notes on how you react to that emotion. [39] X Research Sources
- Hierarchy for your fear. Put on the scale your fears on a scale of 0-10. For example, the fear of “going out with some stranger” might be level 8, while the thrill of “going to see a movie you have never seen before” might be. at level 2.
- Slowly begin to learn to overcome your fear of uncertainty by practicing in some low-fear setting. For example, you could choose one of the low-level fears, like “trying a new meal at a new restaurant,” and practice. You may hate this restaurant after practicing, and that’s completely normal. The important thing here is to prove to yourself that you can face uncertainty with courage and that you will become stronger.
- Record your reactions in a diary. Every time you face your fear, don’t forget to write down what happened. What did you do then? What does that action look like? How did you react to that feeling of fear? And how does that feel?
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Make a specific plan. It’s easy to feel anxious if you don’t know what to do. Break down challenges and difficulties into small tasks that you can complete. [40] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- Visualizing the obstacles you may encounter will help you to act courageously when the going gets tough. Think of any obstacles you may face and make an action plan to overcome them.
- Explain your plans and goals in positive language. Many studies show that you are more likely to achieve your goals if you frame them in a positive way, which means that what you do will move forward, not backward . later . [41] X Research Source
- Target performance based on target performance. Remember that you can only control your own actions and reactions, not those of others. Make sure you set goals and plans that are within your reach. [42] X Research Source
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Helping others. When you’re nervous or stressed, it’s a natural tendency to hide from the world. However, psychological research shows that this is not a good way to increase courage. Many people exhibit a “caring-and-friendly” disposition, which means that you respond to stress by showing concern for others. This tendency to care can trigger an emotional state in your brain, which in turn translates into your practical action in the face of a difficult problem. If at some point you feel afraid, don’t forget to show others how compassionate you are or highlight their strengths. You can also find your own strengths. [43] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- When the social care system – regulated by the neurotransmitter oxytocin – is stimulated, you experience a strong sense of empathy and connection with others. This system also helps curb the area of the brain that generates fear.
- This rewarding system in the brain also produces a neurotransmitter called dopamine, which increases feelings of motivation and also reduces feelings of fear. Dopamine can also make you feel more optimistic and courageous.
- The harmonic system in the brain depends on the neurotransmitter serotonin. Your intuition and self-control are also linked to this serotonin, and that means you’ll feel more motivated to make bold (and smart) decisions.
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Become courageous within 20 seconds. Sometimes, it’s hard to imagine becoming bold over the course of a day, or even just an hour. It’s best to be brave for 20 seconds. You can do anything with these 20 seconds. When you’ve finished the first 20-second interval, start with the next 20-second interval. And the next 20 seconds. And the next 20 seconds. These small chunks of time will be cumulative. [44] X Research Source
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Consider your decision. If you are faced with a situation where you need to make a bold but difficult decision, take the time to reflect. If you feel strongly motivated by something that needs to be done, you can use reflection strategies to strengthen your courage. Persuasive nature is also an important factor in bravery. Ask yourself:
- Is this the right thing to do? The right thing here is not necessarily always the easiest thing to do, nor is it the most common. You should follow what your conscience tells you to make a decision.
- Is this the only way to solve the problem? Reconsider whether there is another way to get around your problem. Is there a solution that you haven’t thought of yet?
- Are you mentally prepared for the results? If the action you take can have a huge impact, it’s better to spend more time thinking about it. In the worst case scenario, will you be able to work things out?
- Why did you make this decision? Why is it so important to you? What happens if you don’t make that decision?
- You can also create a list of what you gain and lose for each action you take. What’s the worst that could happen? And what’s the best that could happen to you?
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Don’t think – act. After a certain level, it is better to stop thinking about what you are going to do, and do it instead. [45] X Research Source Overthinking not only makes you unable to take decisive action, but it also affects you leading to stress and the feeling that you can’t do anything. soul. [46] X Research Source Take a deep breath, try to clear your mind, and move forward with what you’ve decided. Don’t hesitate, you should instead focus on how to overcome them.
- It helps a lot if you repeat your affirmation as you take action. Confidence plays an important role in getting through the first step. Once you keep taking action, you will feel more courageous.
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Pretend until you get over your fear. Learning to accept feelings of uncertainty and reassurance about certain clear circumstances is one way to build up a learning experience. You cannot become courageous overnight. However, many studies show that pretending to be “courageous,” even when you feel very anxious, can help you become more courageous. [47] X Research Sources[48] X Research Sources
- Don’t wait until you “feel” brave. Often, even people we think are brave – firefighters, warriors, doctors – feel fear in some cases. However, they know what has to be done, and they choose to do it.
- On the contrary, believing that you can’t do something sometimes becomes like a self-satisfying prediction. Belief in yourself can either help or hinder your actions.
Advice
- Courage is not always flaunted. Sometimes, courage is just the strength to get you up and try again.
- Remember, courage is not the absence of fear, but the strength to face that fear.
- When you need to muster up your courage, remember a tough challenge you overcame. Everyone becomes courageous at some point (like learning to ride a bike, for example). And you can become brave again.
- Find a poem or song that inspires you. They should help you feel that you are not alone. Write this poem or song on paper and take it with you. However, it would be better if you could keep them in mind! Every time you go through a long day, don’t forget to sing that song or read/recite the poem!
- In success is not necessarily without failure, but important to overcome that failure.
- Do what you think is right. That is the most important thing and will make others think that you are brave. For example, come out to defend those who are being bullied.
Warning
- There is a fine line between courage and stupidity. No matter how brave you are, don’t risk what you find unnecessary.
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This article was co-written by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a New York-based career and life coaching company. Annie has over 10,000 hours of client coaching and her work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine and BBC World News. She provides services individually or in groups, focusing on career, relationships, love life and personal development. Trying to get an MBA from Oxford Brooks University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute, which offers comprehensive coaching certifications. Information: https://newyorklifecoaching.com
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Do you want to be more courageous? In fact, not everyone is born brave – you yourself will become brave over time as you face many experiences in life. Of course, you can absolutely practice to make yourself more courageous by doing what your heart tells you and not being afraid to challenge yourself with a whole new experience, even if deep down inside you are very angry. scared. You will need time and patience with yourself. However, with a positive outlook and helpful mindset, you will find that you are gradually becoming braver than you ever imagined.
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