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This article was co-written by Katie Styzek. Katie Styzek is a consultant for public schools in Chicago. Katie earned her bachelor’s degree in elementary education with a major in math from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and served as a middle school math, science, and social studies teacher for three years before becoming a consultants. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) degree in school counseling from DePaul University and a master’s degree in educational leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois school counselor license (Category 73 Service Officer), an Illinois principal license (formerly a Class 75) and an Illinois elementary school license (Category). 03, K – 9). She is also nationally certified in school counseling by the National Council for Professional Standards of Pedagogy.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 122,577 times.
Teenagers are often called immature by their parents and elders. Maybe that’s why you’re trying to become more mature. In general, maturity usually develops with age – you can’t really grow up without experiencing many different aspects of life. However, there are some areas where you can adjust if you still want to appear more mature in the eyes of others. You can become more mature by improving your behavior, emotional response, intellectual capacity, and communication style.
Steps
Express feelings maturely
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Don’t vent your feelings on others. To become mature, you will have to control the negative feelings you are experiencing such as anger, frustration, or shame. Swearing or yelling at others when you’re upset won’t make you more mature. Instead, find other ways to release and express your feelings.
- First, you need to understand why you feel that way. Answer the questions: what happened, how do you feel in your heart and what do you call that feeling?
- Next, decide how to express that feeling without hurting yourself and others. You can journal, relieve energy by exercising, playing sports or listening to music that expresses your emotions. [1] X Research Source
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Take responsibility for your behavior. Finding excuses or blaming others when you make a mistake won’t help your image. Blaming others can also damage your relationships. Moreover, you will never absorb the lessons and become more mature if you do not face the consequences that you cause. [2] X Research Source
- Take full responsibility when you make a mistake. Do this by admitting your mistake right away. Maybe you can simply say, “It was my fault” or “It was my fault.” Sorry if you hurt others. Then think about how to make amends.
- For example, if you forgot to close the door and the cat ran out, admit it. You might say, “I’m sorry. Because I forgot to close the back door. Let me go ask the neighbors if they’ve seen my cat.”
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Think before you act. Being mature also means thinking about the consequences of your actions. Every time you are about to say or do something, take a few seconds to think about the consequences of what you will say or do. While satisfying for the moment, impulsive actions can get you into trouble in the long run. [3] X Trusted Source American Academy of Child and Adpescent Psychiatry Go to Source
- To prevent arbitrary actions, you should pause for a moment before deciding or acting. Take a few deep breaths.
- Ask yourself, “What is my conscience saying? Will this hurt me or bother anyone? How would I feel if someone did this to me, or how would I feel about myself if I did this?”
- For example, if your friends ask you to skip school, stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Think about why you would want to do this – the reason could be as simple as wanting to hang out. Think about what could happen if you did: you could get found out and get in trouble with the school and with the parents.
- Taking the steps above every time you need to choose an action will help you make wiser decisions.
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Practice gratitude. You will be more likely to be respected and appreciated by adults if you are grateful for what you have. Try not to whine about what you don’t have. Instead, you should practice gratitude. [4] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- At the end of each day, write down in your notebook three positive things that happened during the day. Take a few minutes to reflect on good events or outcomes and try to incorporate your sense of satisfaction.
Behave properly
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Follow the rules. If you want to show maturity, you need to respect those in power. No matter where you are—home, school, or work—you will have to follow the rules set by those in authority. Usually these rules are meant to keep you and others safe, so you should follow them.
- Sometimes young people want to go against those in power, and that’s normal. If you want to discuss rules with adults about their rules, you need to discuss them with respect. That way you will have more chances to be heard. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, you might say, “Mom and Dad, I think I’m allowed to go home a little later because I’m fifteen years old. I always come home on time and never cause any trouble. Can your parents see that?”
Take responsibility and control your actions. Do everything as promised, trying to keep an eye on yourself and your activities to the best of your ability. If you get in trouble for some reason, be honest and accept the punishment. When you take responsibility for your actions, you will appear mature in the eyes of your parents and others.
- For example, if you promised your parents to stay at home to look after your younger brother, turn down your friend’s invitation to an overnight party. This decision may be difficult for you, but maturity also means keeping promises and proving yourself to be trustworthy.
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Express yourself through behavior. The right attitude shows respect. The right behavior will also make adults see you as more mature. Good manners include many aspects: saying “yes”, answering the phone politely, not interrupting when others are talking, keeping your mouth shut while chewing or holding the door for someone behind. [6] X Research Sources
- Perhaps you have been taught many rules of etiquette. However, if you want to be more knowledgeable, you can ask your parents or other adults about proper manners.
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Clean up your own items. Mature people don’t let others follow after cleaning up the mess they made. If you want to become an adult teenager, you need to start doing this. It could be things like cleaning up the dishes after eating, cleaning up food and drinks that fall, or putting the game, movie, or book back in the right place after watching it.
- Keep the room tidy by putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket and storing clean clothes in a cupboard or drawer. Make your bed as soon as you wake up in the morning. Hang your backpack on the hook behind the door so it doesn’t touch the floor. Organize your shoes under the bed or on a shoe shelf in a closet so you don’t trip over them.
- This will be easier to do if you set a time limit of 20 minutes to clean and thoroughly clean the room once a day. Turn on music to feel the time go by faster. [7] X Research Sources
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Practice good and healthy habits. A mature teenager must know how to say “no” to bad behavior. Behaviors such as using alcohol and drugs, lying, stealing, fighting, acting recklessly or destroying other people’s property will only get you into trouble or get hurt. Instead, stay away from stimulants, obey traffic rules, and don’t associate with people with bad influence. [8] X Research Sources
Develop intellectual maturity
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Pay attention to ongoing events. Read about current affairs and events in the press and from legitimate online sources. Don’t rely on updates on your social media pages. Try to find other sources of information and pay attention to what is going on in the world around you. [9] X Research Source
- As you learn about current events, discuss them with your parents and other adults. You might say, “Dad, what do you think of the new executive order of the president of the United States?”
- Find online resources such as Dan Tri, Vnexpress, Tuoi Tre online, read the morning newspaper and find some academic journals at the library on topics that interest you.
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Read a book. Whether it’s books about real events or fictional stories, reading is often a wonderful pastime. Books not only bring knowledge but also help you increase your vocabulary. This will help you improve your reading comprehension and even improve your writing skills. Moreover, you can relieve stress by reading books. [10] X Research Source
- Step over the limits of the reading assignments given at school. To enjoy reading, choose books that relate to your interests, such as airplanes or Ancient Egypt.
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Use critical thinking skills. Critical thinking skills demonstrate how you solve problems. You can pop out the fastest answer that comes to mind, or take more time to consider all the angles before choosing a solution. The ability to think critically can help you better judge the consequences of your actions, assess the veracity of information, and learn to think outside the box.
- A great way to build critical thinking skills is to play board games. You can invite the whole family or a few close friends to spend an evening playing brain games. [11] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source
Communicate in a mature manner
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Clear communication . Many teenagers and young adults communicate in such a way that their parents and teachers are bewildered and do not understand what you are saying. If you want to be seen as mature, you should speak in a way that others can understand. Use the right words, do not abbreviate. Write complete sentences with correct spelling.
- If you want to learn how to get excited about talking to others, ask your parents to play a role in communicating with you. [12] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source
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Use active listening skills. Many teenagers think they know everything and don’t listen to others. One sign of maturity is knowing that you can learn from everyone. Try to listen more than talk. [13] X Research Source
- An important principle is to listen to understand instead of listen to answer. Try to guess what the other person is saying. Don’t interrupt or rush in with your opinion. Try to hear the other person finish the sentence, then summarize what they said in a way that you understand.
- For example, when your mother says, “I have to go home this weekend, I don’t feel safe leaving you alone at home. Can I go to Miss Huong’s house?” You might respond, “Yes. I know you worry if I’m home alone. Let me ask if Quynh’s parents will let me go to her friend’s house.”
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Avoid using slang or swear words. Speaking slang or common words in moderation in front of your peers is fine, but you should try to use appropriate words when communicating with adults. Do not confuse adults by using words that are unfamiliar to them. In addition, you also avoid swearing because it is a sign of disrespect.
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This article was co-written by Katie Styzek. Katie Styzek is a consultant for public schools in Chicago. Katie earned her bachelor’s degree in elementary education with a major in math from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and served as a middle school math, science, and social studies teacher for three years before becoming a consultants. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) degree in school counseling from DePaul University and a master’s degree in educational leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois school counselor license (Category 73 Service Officer), an Illinois principal license (formerly a Class 75) and an Illinois elementary school license (Category). 03, K – 9). She is also nationally certified in school counseling by the National Council for Professional Standards of Pedagogy.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 122,577 times.
Teenagers are often called immature by their parents and elders. Maybe that’s why you’re trying to become more mature. In general, maturity usually develops with age – you can’t really grow up without experiencing many different aspects of life. However, there are some areas where you can adjust if you still want to appear more mature in the eyes of others. You can become more mature by improving your behavior, emotional response, intellectual capacity, and communication style.
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