How to Be a Good Parent

Being a parent is one of the most sacred and blissful experiences in life, but it is not easy. No matter how old your child is, your parenting responsibilities continue. To be a good parent, you must strike a balance between making your children feel loved and teaching them right from wrong. No matter how difficult it is, just try to create a loving environment so that your children become confident, independent, and caring people.

Table of Contents

Create a loving environment

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Give your child boundless love. Try to create strong physical and emotional bonds with your child throughout childhood. A warm touch or a sweet word will help your child feel that you care. Here are a few ways to show your love for your child:

A cuddle, a kiss on the cheek, a hug, or even a warm touch on your child’s shoulder is a great way to show your support and appreciation.
Say you love your child every day, even if you’re not happy with his behavior.

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Love your child unconditionally. Don’t force your child to be the person you expect him to be in order to receive love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what. ^{[1] X Research Source}

For example, you hope that your child will become an athlete. However, if your child doesn’t really enjoy sports, you need to let him know that’s okay and work with him to find activities that better suit his interests.
Likewise, if you’re a social person, don’t make your child feel bad when he needs more time to get along with others.

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Emphasize how important the experience is over the toy. Toys make children happy for a while, but they never make them feel as loved and cared for as parents. Therefore, you should spend time with your child doing fun activities, even something as simple as eating an ice cream cone in the park creates a sweeter memory that is more memorable than any other toy. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Even lying on the floor reading together is a great way for you and your baby to bond.

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Praise your child when he achieves something. This is a way to help children feel proud of their achievements and see themselves well. When your child does a good job, acknowledge him and let him know that you are proud of him. If you don’t give your child the confidence he needs to walk on his own, he won’t have the strength to become confident or brave. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Be specific about the praise so that your child knows what he or she did well. For example, instead of saying “Great job!”, you could say “You were good at letting me go during play” or “Thank you for cleaning up your toys after you finished playing!”
Focus on praising achievements and good deeds more than praising the child’s talents. This will help children learn to appreciate facing difficult challenges.
Try to get into the habit of praising your child more often than giving negative comments. While it’s important to speak up when children misbehave, it’s equally important to help children build a positive self-image. Besides, if you focus too much on your child’s bad deeds, he will often repeat those actions to get your attention. ^{[4] X Trusted Source Child Mind Institute Go to Source}

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Avoid comparing your child with others, especially with siblings. Each child has his or her own personality and uniqueness; So cherish your differences. If you constantly compare your child to other children, he will never feel good enough in your eyes. This even prevents them from achieving success in the future. ^{[5] X Research Sources} Instead of comparing, you should teach your child how to accomplish his or her own goals and encourage them to pursue a path that is right for them.

Comparing a child to another sibling can cause a child to form rivalry. Try to foster a loving relationship between your children, rather than competition.
Don’t be biased towards any of your children – when they argue, you should be fair and neutral.

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Pay attention when your child is talking. Open communication with children is very important; Therefore, you should remember to stop what you are doing to listen when your child comes to you with questions or concerns. In addition, do not forget to show interest in your children and accompany them in life. This is a way to help your child feel comfortable coming to you when there is a problem, no matter how big or small. ^{[6] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Listen attentively so that the child feels cared for. Remember to look at your child while he or she is talking and let him know that you are always listening by nodding along with affirmative statements such as “Is that so,” “I get it,” or “Tell me more.” . When it’s your turn to speak, paraphrase what you just heard before responding. ^{[7] X Research Source} For example, you could say, “You seem to be saying that this week’s chores are not evenly distributed.”
Try spending a certain amount of time talking to each child each day, such as before bed, during breakfast, or when picking up your child after school. Cherish this time and avoid looking at your phone or being distracted.

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Set aside time to see each child individually. Children need to feel important when they are with their parents; So take the initiative to spend time with each child. During this time, you can plan something fun, such as going for a walk, snacking or playing a puzzle. When you’re with your child, remember to give him your full attention – talk to him and listen to what he has to say. Even spending time comfortably together means a lot to your child. ^{[8] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source}

Try to split your time evenly if you have multiple children. However, you don’t have to do the same thing with your kids – maybe one of your kids loves rollerblading and another likes going to the library.
Pay attention to your child’s education. For example, when possible, you will participate in activities at your child’s school, do homework with him, and monitor his performance to see how he is doing.
However, you need to be careful not to overwhelm your child with too much control – let him be himself. You should let your child feel that the time spent with you is special, instead of feeling reluctant.

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Respect your child’s privacy to build trust. Let your child feel that the drawers are not searched or the diary is not read when he returns to his or her own room. This is a way to teach your child to respect his space and the privacy of others. It also gives your child a sense of security and helps build trust between you and your child.

Give your child permission to keep his or her personal space and accept that it’s okay for him to keep things a secret from time to time, especially as he gets older. You can balance this by keeping an open mind so that your child feels free to turn to you when he or she needs help with something.

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Present at important events. Your schedule may be hectic, but you should try to do everything you can to be present at the important moments in your child’s life, from concerts and birthdays to high school graduation. Remember that children grow up so quickly and have a life of their own before you know it. Your boss may or may not remember you missing a meeting, but your child will definitely remember that you didn’t come to see the play he was in. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If something happens and you have to miss an important event, let your child know that you are really sorry that you can’t come and will make up for it with another special event. For example, if you can’t get your child to class on the first day of school, you can celebrate this by preparing your child’s favorite food and special dessert for that evening. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Be a good disciplinarian

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Set reasonable rules and penalties. You need to make a list of rules to help your child lead a happy and orderly life. Make sure these guidelines are age appropriate. Remember that your rules and regulations are designed to help your child thrive, but don’t be so strict that they feel like they can’t get things right. ^{[11] X Research Source}

For example, if you have young children, you can set a rule like “Don’t go out without an adult,” with the punishment being to stay at home if your child doesn’t obey. With older children, you will set a series of housework rules, and your child will lose certain privileges, such as using electronic devices, if they refuse to do the chores.
Listen to your child about the rules he has to follow, but remember – you are the parent. You need to set limits for your children. Children who are allowed to behave as they please will have difficulty in adulthood when they have to obey the rules of society.
Avoid harsh punishments, and never engage in behavior that causes physical harm to a child – besides abuse, this can actually make behavior problems worse . ^{[12] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source}

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Apply the principles consistently. This can be difficult at times, but applying the same rules at all times is very important. Try not to let your child manipulate you into making exceptions. If you let your child do something he’s not allowed to just because he’s angry, it shows that your rules can be broken. ^{[13] X Research Source}

If your child knows rules can be broken, he or she will no longer try to stick to what has been set.

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Control your anger. It is important that you try to stay calm and rational when interacting with children, even when they are disobedient. It can certainly be a challenge, especially when your child is being uncooperative or makes you angry, but when you feel like raising your voice, stop and take a break, or at least let your child know that you are not happy. ^{[14] X Trusted Source Child Mind Institute Go to Source}

We all lose our temper from time to time and become out of control. If you do or say something you regret, apologize to your child so they know you made a mistake. Teaching your kids to apologize and admit when they’re wrong is a more important lesson than acting like you’re perfect all the time.

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Stand on the same side as your spouse. When you raise children, you need to show them that you are on the same page – both say “yes” or “no” to the same things. If kids think mom always says yes and dad says no, kids will learn to use that to get what they want. ^{[15] X Research Source}

This doesn’t mean that both of you have to agree 100% on parenting. In fact, two people should work together to solve problems related to children, instead of confronting each other.
Try not to argue with your spouse in front of your children. Children can feel insecure and scared when they hear their parents argue. Instead, you should show your child that when we disagree with others, we can still discuss our differences peacefully.

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Make a systematic schedule of activities to keep your family organized. Your children should feel a sense of discipline and rationality in the way things are run in the home and family life. This helps children feel safe and secure to enjoy a happy life inside and outside of their home. To do so, you need to plan a moderate activity. For example, you should set rules for going to bed and waking up, eating at the same time each day, and making a schedule for studying and relaxing. ^{[16] X Research Source} Here are a few ways to establish a routine:

Maintain your own personal hygiene, such as bathing and dental care, and teach your child to do the same.
Teach your child about responsibility by making routine chores or chores a routine.

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Criticize the child’s behavior, instead of criticizing the child. When your child misbehaves, let them know you don’t like the behavior. However, don’t forget to reassure your child that you still love and care for your child, even if you’re not happy with the behavior. This way, your child will feel loved and protected while trying to change his behavior. ^{[17] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source}

For example, if you catch your child misbehaving with a sibling, don’t be so quick to say, “You’re so naughty!”. Instead, say, “Other people will feel hurt when offended, I think you should apologize to Na.”
Be frank but kind when you point out your child’s mistakes. You need to be serious, but not cold or angry when you tell your child about your expectations.
If your child is disobedient in public, criticize his or her behavior in private. This way, you won’t embarrass your child.

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Don’t set unreasonable expectations for your child. Try not to make them feel like they have to be perfect or live up to your standards of perfection. For example, don’t force your child to excel or be the best player on the team he’s on. Instead, you should encourage your child to develop good study habits and positive sportsmanship, and let him or her work as hard as he can. ^{[18] X Research Sources}

If you act as if you’re only accepting the best, your child will feel like he’s never got it, and may even rebel.

Help children form character

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Teach children to be independent. Children should know that they are allowed to be different and do not need to follow the crowd. Teach your children right from wrong from an early age, and encourage them to make their own decisions instead of you making them for them. ^{[19] X Research Source}

Give your child a chance to choose. For example, if you have young children, you can prepare 2-3 outfits and let them choose what they like, or allow them to choose their own snacks.
For older children, you’ll let them choose what extracurricular activities they want to participate in and which friends they want to meet – as long as you feel safe for them.
Remember that your children are not your sequel. Children are independent individuals who are receiving your care, not someone to let you re-create your life.

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Be a role model for your child. Many people think that the most important thing a parent can do is to set a good example for their children to follow. If you want your child to do something, set an example for them. You don’t have to be perfect, but you should try to do what you want your child to do, and boldly admit when you make a mistake. ^{[20] X Research Source}

For example, if you want your child to be polite and nice, don’t raise your voice in traffic or at the checkout counter in the supermarket.
If you want your child to understand volunteering, you should take your child to a charity kitchen or shelter and help with meal preparation. Do not forget to explain to your child why you participate in volunteer activities so that they know why they should do it themselves.
If you want your child to do housework, ask them to help you while you clean the house. Don’t just ask your child to clean the room while you sit still in the chair.

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Teach children politeness. The basic politeness will help us a lot in our daily life; So, from the first years of your child’s life, you should teach him to say things like “Please”, “Thank you” and “Sorry”. In addition, you also need to teach your child to wait for his turn, share with others, and communication skills. ^{[21] X Research Source}

Children learn these behaviors from home and remember to do them yourself!

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Encourage children to live a healthy life. It’s important to make sure your child eats healthy foods, gets regular exercise, and gets enough sleep each night. Don’t force your child to eat or act a certain way, but try to offer healthy options instead of stocking up on junk food, and plan activities that get the whole family up and moving. ^{[22] X Trusted Source Centers for Disease Contrp and Prevention Go to source}

One of the ways to encourage children to be active is to let them play sports from an early age so that they have more healthy passions.
Teach children to eat healthy from an early age. From the moment you start giving your child solid foods, introduce them to a variety of age-appropriate fruits and vegetables, rather than unhealthy snacks like chips and candy.

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Allow children to make mistakes. Life is a great teacher, so don’t rush to help your child avoid the consequences of his actions. The truth is that you can’t protect your child forever, and they should learn life lessons as soon as possible. Although you may find it difficult to stand by and watch your child make mistakes, it will have long-term benefits for you and your child.

For example, if your child refuses to dress warmly, don’t force her – she’ll realize her mistake when she’s cold. However, you can bring warm clothes in case your child changes his mind. ^{[23] X Research Sources}
Consider how appropriate you are when you let your child deal with the consequences of their actions. For example, sometimes it’s better to let your child fall from the sofa to the floor instead of constantly asking him or her to sit down. However, if your child is on the verge of death, you definitely need to intervene.
Try not to say “I told you so” when your child learns his lesson. Instead, let your child draw their own conclusions about what happened.

Raising children in adolescence and young adulthood

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Emphasize moderation and responsibility when drinking. You can talk about this from an early age. Explain that your child will have to wait until he or she reaches the legal age to be allowed to drink with friends, and talk about the importance of not drinking in traffic. Besides, you also need to be frank about the effects of alcohol on your child’s brain and body. ^{[24] X Research Source}

Encourage your child to wait until he is of legal age before drinking alcohol. Even so, your child is not allowed to drive after drinking, and you need to let her know that in that situation she can call you to get her safely home.

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Be honest with your child about sex. If your child asks questions about sex, answer them calmly and without embarrassment. Failure to answer these questions can leave children with information deficits and feelings of shame, leading to consequences later. From a young age, you should talk about your child’s body, including the correct names of the body parts. As your child gets older, it’s time to talk to her about puberty, conception, contraception, and the impact of sex on relationships. ^{[25] X Research Sources}

It is natural for children to be curious about their bodies as they grow up. If your child comes to you with questions, answer them openly and try not to feel embarrassed.

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Accompany your child even when he is an adult. The way you raise your child has a lasting effect on your child’s life, and he will always need your love, even if you are hundreds of miles away. Even though you won’t be a regular presence in your child’s life, you should still let him know that you care and are always available. ^{[26] X Research Sources}

If you have a good relationship with your child, he or she will still come to you for advice at any age.

Advice

Be very careful with the adults you choose to introduce your child to.
Don’t impose your life on your children. Allow me to choose and live the life I want.
Find balance and support when you need help with parenting, and always be kind to yourself when you still have some flaws.
Take a parenting class at your local adult education center to feel more confident in your role.
Although many people will try to give you parenting advice, remember that you are the one who decides how to raise your children.

Warning

When praising your child, you should focus on the effort instead of the end result or your child will become “addicted” to praise.
Do not spoil the child too much. This can cause children to become stubborn and irresponsible.

Steps