How often should you text when you’re first dating?

Sure, you’re excited to date someone you just met, but you’re also probably wondering if you’re texting enough (or too much) when the relationship is just getting started. When talking to your crush, it’s important to send messages just enough to keep them interested, but not so fast that they tire them out. While every couple is different, there are a few basic rules you can follow. Read on to find out how often you should text and if your texting habits are healthy!

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How often should you text your partner when you’re first dating?

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Two or three times per week if you want things to be normal. If you’ve only been on a date a few times, you shouldn’t text every day, as that will make you feel a little too bold. Try to choose a time when the person isn’t busy, such as evenings or weekends, as it’s more likely that they’ll respond sooner. Text only a few times a week to give your partner some space and give them a chance to text you first.

You can send a text to let your crush know you’re thinking of them or to plan your next date.

At least once a day if the two of you are in a serious relationship. When you and your partner decide to just date each other and not meet or date anyone else, they will expect you to contact them more. If you want your lover to start the day with a smile, you can send a cute good morning message. You can check back every night before you go to bed to see how your day is going. ^{[1] X Trusted Source Pew Research Center Go to Source}

Talk to the person to know what both of you want. Some people prefer texting to others, so ask how the other person likes it. If your wishes match, great! However, they may just want to text less, like to discuss plans with each other instead of chatting via text. Listen to what they have to say and agree with them on a texting frequency that works best for both of you.

You could say, “I want to text you regularly to keep in touch, but I don’t know if you like it. How many times a day do you think we text each other?”

Signs of healthy texting habits in a relationship

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The two sides take turns sending the message first. No matter how eager you are to talk to your crush and want to initiate the message first, it’s always a good idea to pause and let the other person initiate the conversation. When you let the person send you a message first, they have a chance to let you know how much they care about you. ^{[2] X Research Source}

You have purposeful productive conversations. You two may not text every day, but don’t forget that quality is more important than quantity. You should have a reason every time you text your crush, such as to get to know them better or to arrange plans. Before you send a message, think of a reason and stick to it so it doesn’t look like you’re texting them because you have nothing to do.

Both parties can text each other about things they both have.

The messages of the two sides are proportionate to each other. You and your lover should send the same amount of messages so that both of you have a voice in the conversation. Try to keep the length of your messages on par with the other person’s messages so that it doesn’t seem like one person is trying to overwhelm the other.

The conversation will start to be one-sided if only one of you takes the initiative.

You feel like you can say anything and be yourself. He makes you feel comfortable and confident when you two text back and forth. If you’re happy with your relationship, you’ll chat about whatever comes to mind without thinking twice before sending a text. Even if you say something that the person disagrees with, you still feel that they respect your opinion.

Both sides respect each other’s boundaries. If you or your partner need to focus or want some alone time, you can agree not to text at certain times. No matter how much you want to talk to your lover, you should respect their boundaries and wait until they are free. Your partner will appreciate you giving them the space they need.

Signs that you are texting too much

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You expect the other person to respond immediately. Your partner will answer when they have time, but they may be busy or leave their phone somewhere else when you text. If the person doesn’t reply after a while, they probably just saw your message. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

You often text them before they have a chance to respond. The act of texting twice in a row and leaving a long line of messages will tire the other person. If it’s been a while that your lover hasn’t texted, take a deep breath to relax and try to find something to forget. Instead of asking them why they don’t reply or sending more messages, wait for them to respond. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

You don’t hear back from the other side. If you’re on a casual date and still haven’t heard from the other person, don’t jump to conclusions as to why. There are messages that do not need to be answered. For example, if you just give them a simple message or reconfirm something, they may not text back. Instead of sending more messages, you should give them time to respond, as they will definitely contact you at some point.

If your partner responds with one-word texts or hasn’t responded for a few days, then it’s likely that they don’t like you very much. You can ask them directly how they feel if you want to be sure.
Time is money, so it’s best for both of you not to make the other think you like them or open up to them when you really don’t.

Steps

How often should you text your partner when you’re first dating?

Signs of healthy texting habits in a relationship

Signs that you are texting too much

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