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This article was co-written by Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S. Rachel Eddins is a licensed counselor and CEO of Eddins Counseling Group. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in assisting clients with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, relationship conflicts and career obstacles. Rachel holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Texas at Austin and a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. She is certified in Group Psychotherapy by the American Association for Group Psychotherapy and certified in Intuitive Eating Pros as Intuitive Eating Pros. She is also recognized by the National Association for Career Development as a career counselor.
There are 19 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,578 times.
Under normal circumstances, breaking up is inherently difficult, but if your ex-partner threatens to hurt himself or to commit suicide, ending the relationship seems impossible. More importantly, you need to know that if someone threatens to commit suicide after a breakup, they are mentally terrorizing you. [1] X Research Source Your partner’s intimidation will make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can (and should) end it all. There are a few ways to reduce the risk of them harming themselves when you break up, starting with having an honest conversation with your partner. During the breakup, always put the safety of both of you first, and don’t forget to take care of your mental health.
Steps
Talk to the other party
- Say something like, “I still care about you, sorry this was so difficult for you.” You can also say, “It broke my heart when you said you’d hurt yourself. Even if it doesn’t work out, you’re still a wonderful girl to me.”
- They may not believe what you say. Let them know you’re happy to help, but don’t pressure yourself by doing something you’re not comfortable with.
- For example, you should avoid saying things like, “I wouldn’t dare” or “I just said that to make you feel bad, right?” Instead, you could say, “I’m so upset that you think that way.”
- You can also limit arguments by using “I” sentence structures, such as: “I’m so tired of this relationship” instead of “You don’t make me happy.” me”, the way of saying blame will easily make the opponent feel defensive. [4] X Research Sources
- Speak in a soft voice with a low tone of voice. Maintain open body language with your arms and legs relaxed at your sides. When you raise your voice and use intimidating body language (such as crossing your arms or clenching your fists), arguments are more likely to arise.
- You could say, “You’re such a good person and you’ve given me so much, but I can’t trade my long-term goals for this relationship.”
- For example, when your soon-to-be says, “If you’re no longer in this world, it’s my fault,” you might reply, “I don’t want you to have any fate, but it’s a choice. Your choice, not mine. What you do is out of my control.”
- For example, you could say, “I know it’s hard to think about right now, but you’re worth so much more than just a piece in our relationship. He is about to enter the veterinary profession and will do a lot of good things in life. Then you can be happier with other people.”
- Remind him/her that other people care about them too. Then, name the people who can be with them during this time.
- The Vietnam Center for Psychological Crisis Prevention has a hotline 1900599830 – Call center Young people. If you are in the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. This is a free, confidential and 24-hour hotline. [9] X Trusted Source National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Go to Source
- tamsubantre.org is an online alternative to the above hotline number. Consultants are always available to assist from 9am – 12am on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings. [10] X Research Source
- Wikipedia has lists of suicide prevention hotlines in many countries. [11] X Research Source
Make sure both are safe
- If the other person is making vague suicide threats, offer to take them to the emergency room or call the Youth Talk hotline at 1900599830.
- Call the person’s friends or relatives to be with them. [13] X Trusted Source National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Go to Source
- Do not leave them alone, but the appropriate supervisor is not you, of course. Don’t let him/her think that suicide threats are the only way to get your attention.
- Try to locate the person before calling the police. Don’t let them know you’re calling for help. This will help the police to reach him/her in time.
- Say, “Hey, I think you’re pretty shocked, but tonight I’m going to break up with Thao. She said she was going to commit suicide so I was worried. Can you come stay with her for a few days after I leave?”
- Do not leave until someone else arrives, this will ensure their safety.
- Remember to choose someone you know to have a close relationship with your ex-spouse.
- If your partner has a history of violence, break up with them over the phone or in public.
- Put your own safety first in a dangerous situation, even if you fear for others.
Face your feelings
- If you’re struggling with guilt after a breakup, talk to a psychologist.
- You should remove your ex from your social media profiles.
- Ask mutual friends not to talk about your ex in front of you.
- If you need to contact your ex, you should choose a way to avoid meeting, such as texting or emailing.
This article was co-written by Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S. Rachel Eddins is a licensed counselor and CEO of Eddins Counseling Group. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in assisting clients with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, relationship conflicts and career obstacles. Rachel holds a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from the University of Texas at Austin and a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology from the University of Houston. She is certified in Group Psychotherapy by the American Association for Group Psychotherapy and certified in Intuitive Eating Pros as Intuitive Eating Pros. She is also recognized by the National Association for Career Development as a career counselor.
There are 19 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 17,578 times.
Under normal circumstances, breaking up is inherently difficult, but if your ex-partner threatens to hurt himself or to commit suicide, ending the relationship seems impossible. More importantly, you need to know that if someone threatens to commit suicide after a breakup, they are mentally terrorizing you. [1] X Research Source Your partner’s intimidation will make you feel guilty, scared, or angry, but you can (and should) end it all. There are a few ways to reduce the risk of them harming themselves when you break up, starting with having an honest conversation with your partner. During the breakup, always put the safety of both of you first, and don’t forget to take care of your mental health.
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