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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 26 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,830 times.
It is often easy to ignore our fears and hope they will go away, but unfortunately that rarely works. If you don’t face it, those fears will eventually take over. Is there a way to help you deal with them? The most common way to deal with this is exposure therapy, where you gradually come to terms with the things and situations that scare you. With the right mindset, the results will be so surprising that you’ll have to wonder why you didn’t do this sooner!
Steps
Thoughtful
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Know that you are not unique. There are thousands – even millions of people who probably share very similar fears. For example, more than 50% of Americans are afraid of animals that move by crawling (snakes, spiders, insects)! Blaming yourself or feeling ashamed of your fear will not help you overcome it. On the contrary, when you realize that fear is a normal human emotion, you can find the strength to deal with it. [1] X Research Source
- You can also find support groups online for your specific fear. How do others process and overcome their fears? What can you learn from them? And, of course, there’s always a wikiHow too. What does one of these articles tell you?
- How to overcome the fear of public speaking
- How to overcome the fear of clowns
- How to overcome the fear of needles
- How to overcome fear of strangers
- How to overcome the fear of spiders
- How to overcome the fear of flying
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List your fears. To fight fear, you need to know what scares you. Sit down and write down a list of the things that scare you. What are those? Where do they come from? What is their origin? Did it happen suddenly? When do they not seem so scary? How do they make you feel? When you detach from your fear and from yourself by looking at yourself on paper, you will be able to think more rationally and objectively about your fears. [2] X Research Source
- You can combine similar fears, especially when you have many of the same fears.
- Writing a “fear diary” is a good idea. Whenever you feel overcome by fear, immediately take out your diary and start writing. Not only will it be a good release, but you will gain more confidence and realize that you ultimately have the power to control the situation. It can also help you keep your distance from the things that scare you. [3] X Trusted Source University of Rochester Medical Center Go to Source
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Distinguish between rational fear and irrational fear. In some situations, it is completely natural to feel some degree of fear. The natural fear response is an evolutionary advantage that has helped humans survive in a dangerous world for thousands of years. However, there are other fears that are more irrational, and they are often the cause of difficulties and suffering. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, when you encounter a bear while on a picnic, feeling terrified is a perfectly normal and healthy response, because you are in danger. However, if you refuse to fly because you are afraid of being in an accident, then this fear is very irrational. Statistically, flying is much safer than driving yourself. [5] X Research Resources Understanding what is reasonable fear and what is irrational fear can help you control your responses.
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Draw the “fear ladder”. Pick a fear you want to face and write it down on the top rung, then break it down into steps. Starting at the bottom of the ladder, write down the most fearless action you can take to deal with it. With each next step, choose an action that brings you closer to the top rung, confronting that fear head-on. Divide your ladder into as many steps as you need, and stand trying to jump over the stairs too quickly. Outline the various steps you can take. [6] X Research Source
- Imagine that you are afraid to fly, even getting close to the plane makes you nervous. On the last step, you note that the first step is the study of the mechanics behind the phenomenon of flight. (no longer thinking “wings are only supported by miracles!”). The next step is to “go to the airport”. This step is a bit higher, but it’s not too scary: you’re just going to the airport, not actually taking the plane. Then you can book a short flight of about 30 minutes with a friend. At the top step, you will be flying a long flight alone.
- Starting with one small thing is a good idea. Some people make the mistake of rushing to confront what they fear most, but exposure therapy is most effective when taken gradually.
- If you’re not sure what a “fear scale” should look like, you can find this form on Anxiety BC’s website. [7] X Research Sources
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Face your thoughts. Once you’ve let your mind surround the fear – you know where it comes from, and you’ve broken it down into small steps – now it’s time to let the mind, yes, surround the mind. Remember that your fear is just a way of thinking that you can control. Changing your “inner monologue,” or the way you think about a situation, can change your response to fear. [8] X Research Sources
- One way to do this is to convert the worst-case scenario to the best-case scenario. For example, imagine that you really want to go scuba diving, but your focus is on the worst-case scenario: get eaten by a shark, your oxygen tube breaks, you drown. While those are also possibilities, they are very low: the risk of dying from a shark is 1 in 3,700,000. (For the sake of comparison, the risk of injury from room spray is 1/2,600.) On the contrary, the chances of you having a great experience doing the things you dread are very high. Why would you refuse to do something that can bring you so much joy and beauty? [9] X Research Source
- Equipping yourself with statistics is also a useful way. While irrational fears are, yes, irrational, you can combat the tendency to dramatize – or think the worst-case scenario right away – by learning some facts about what you fear. . For example, if you know that of the 7,000,000 flights in North America between 1992 and 2001, there were only 30 accidents, your fear of flying might be a little harder to justify. [10] X Research Source
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See a mental health professional. Some fears don’t cause much trouble in everyday life, especially when you can avoid the source of your fear (like staying away from places where snakes are present if you have a fear of snakes). [11] X Research source . However, other fears such as social anxiety can destroy you on a daily basis. If you are constantly tormented by fear, or fear is causing a lot of trouble in your life, see a mental health professional. They can help you find the cause and assist you in taking steps to conquer your fear. [12] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- A mental health professional can offer a variety of treatments. Prescription medications such as beta-blockers and antidepressants can help you manage anxiety and stress caused by fear, while cognitive-behavioral therapy helps you rearrange your thinking patterns so that you’re finally able to do it. Together you can control your emotions. The multi-step exposure therapy mentioned in this article is also recognized as effective in overcoming specific fears, especially those related to a particular object or experience. (elevator, shark watching, etc.) [13] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to source
Entering the conquest region
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Understand that fear comes from being learned. Most of our fears are learned. When we were young, we knew no fear. However, as we get older, we learn that we should be afraid of certain things. We are afraid to talk to others. We are afraid to speak. We are afraid to ride roller coasters. But there was a time when we were not afraid. The trick to conquering fear is to remember that fear is learned – and we may not. [14] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to Source
- This is especially true of social phobia, which is often rooted in a fear of not being accepted and a lack of self-compassion. If you don’t object to your loved one for what they do, then most people probably won’t either. (And if they do, the problem is more with them than with you.)
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Visualize your success. Imagine that you are confident and completely fearless. Confidence in itself is no guarantee of success, but approaching a situation with confidence can help you try harder. [15] X Research Source So picture yourself in that situation. Visualize your sights, smells, sensations, and senses. Now take control of it.
- This takes practice. First, spend 5 minutes imagining. When you feel more used to it, you can increase it to 10 minutes. Gradually you can take as long as you want to enter the zone.
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Stretch the body. Stretching and stretching exercises can help you dispel your anxiety, so you’ll feel more comfortable facing your fears. [16] X Research Source
- Choose a quiet, pleasant place and lie down.
- Concentrate tension in one muscle group, such as in the hands or forehead. Maintain tension for 5 seconds.
- Relax. Feel the relaxation spread throughout that muscle group.
- Repeat the movement with major muscle groups such as the face, hands, arms, back, abdomen, hips and buttocks, thighs, calves and feet.
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Breathe . The sympathetic nervous system is stimulated when you feel fear, and this causes physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, rapid and shallow breathing. Combat these symptoms by focusing on deep, steady, and relaxing breathing exercises. [17] X Research Source
- Lie on your back and place your hands on your stomach. As you inhale through your nose, you should feel your abdomen rise. Then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this 10 times.
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Live in the present. Many fears stem from anxiety about the uncontrollable future. Winston Churchill once said, “As I look back on all those worries, I remember the story of an old man dying on the verge of death that he had encountered many obstacles in his life, most of which never happened. ” [18] X Research Sources Practicing mindfulness meditation can help you live in the present moment and not obsess over things you can’t control. [19] X Research Source
- Mindfulness meditation can also improve focus and create a deeper sense of happiness and acceptance.
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Turn your awe into energy. The state of fear can produce a lot of powerful energy thanks to the activity of the sympathetic nervous system (the system responsible for the “fight or flight” response). While you may never fully relax and calm down when doing something you fear, you can still change the way you think about your fear. Instead, imagine the energy of fear as enthusiasm – your body really can’t tell the difference. [20] X Research Sources
- For example, if you’re terrified of traveling but want to visit a loved one who lives far away, try turning the energy of fear of traveling by plane or train into an eagerness to accomplish your ultimate goal. You may feel a little uncomfortable at times, but you will be happy that you did not let fear stop you from visiting your family. [21] X Research Source
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Think about your past accomplishments. Thinking about your successes will boost your self-confidence, so you’ll feel strong enough to conquer your fears. Have you ever done something great in the face of adversity? What have you ever done that you weren’t sure you could do? What didn’t knock you down but only made you stronger? [22] X Research Source
- Don’t downplay your achievements. Perhaps you’ve been more successful than you think, even if it’s not the great achievements of becoming president of the United States. Did you graduate from high school? Tax return on time? Cook your own dinner? All of these are successes.
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Think about the next 20 seconds. Only the next 20 seconds. When you’re about to face your fear, just think about the next 20 seconds. That’s all. It doesn’t put the rest of your life in jeopardy, not even the last afternoon of your day. The next 20 seconds is everything you need. [23] X Research Sources
- 20 seconds of bewildered bravery. 20 seconds of extreme pleasure. 20 seconds of irresistible prodigy. You can control it, right? Can you pretend for 1/3 of a minute? Because after those first 20 seconds everything goes downhill.
Attack the fear
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Get in touch with your fear. Start at the bottom of the fear ladder. Repeat that step over and over until you start to feel comfortable with it. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, you could start by simply saying “hello” to the cashier at the grocery store. Plan your steps in advance so you feel in control of the situation. [24] X Research Sources
- If you’re afraid of a static state like heights, try to stay in contact for as long as possible (e.g. look over the railing from the second floor of a shopping mall). If you are afraid of an action or a thing, repeat the action as many times as you can until you feel less nervous about doing it (e.g. say hello to everyone you meet at school). supermarket).
- The longer you face the situation or thing you fear, the more likely you are to break the cycle of fear. However, if you’re too scared to stand it, don’t despair! You can take a break and try again another day.
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Practice the next step, then the next step. Don’t push, but push yourself. When you feel you have mastered the first step on the fear ladder, move on to the next step. Once you start to feel comfortable facing your fears, don’t stop! You don’t want to lose the progress you’ve made. Keep challenging yourself. [25] X Research Sources
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Join a support network. Maybe there are other people in your area who have the same fears as you. Your chances of success will be higher when there is mutual support. There is no shame in calling for help. If you can’t find a formal support group, you can talk to friends or family about your fear and ask for help. [26] X Research Source
- Tell friends and family about your plans to deal with your fears and ask them to be around while you do it. Let them know how you might react and need their help. Perhaps they will be happy to assist you.
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Talk about your fears. Telling others about your fears will help you realize you’re not alone, and make your fears more manageable. Your friends may be able to find solutions to help you get over the things that scare you. You can even joke about your fears, giving you the courage to face them. [27] X Research Source
- For example, if you’re scared of a long presentation that needs to be made, tell a friend. You can even practice your presentation in front of some close friends. Practicing repeatedly in front of people you feel comfortable with can give you the confidence you need to succeed when you give your actual presentation. [28] X Research Sources
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Make it look real. The advice, “Fake it until you actually do it,” also makes sense. Many studies show that you can actually become more confident just by pretending to be. If you fear something like public speaking, you probably know your weaknesses better than anyone. Approach the situation with confidence, even if it’s fake, and you’ll find that it’s not as scary as you think it is. [29] X Research Sources
- You will probably be surprised at how easily you can trick your brain. For example, did you know that smiling actually makes you happier? It’s also the principle of pretending to be confident even though you’re really scared on the inside. [30] X Research Source
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Self-awarded. Each time you face a small fear and move up the next ladder, reward yourself. Rewarding yourself after taking on a challenge is an example of “result conditioning”, that is, a sweet reward given as a result of an action, and it is very effective. in behavior change. [31] X Trusted Source Simply Psychpogy Go to Source
- When you’ve reached your worst fear, give yourself the biggest reward. The greater the fear, the greater the reward. Set a reward in advance to work towards! Everyone needs motivation. When it comes to rewards, when people already know about your progress, there will be more pressure on you to succeed. If you have a positive mindset, you can do it.
Advice
- Don’t run away from your fears simply through other activities like shopping or drinking. It is important for you to acknowledge your fear and make an effort to change your way of thinking.
- You won’t be able to immediately overcome your fear, and you may never be completely comfortable with what you fear. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed either. Let’s continue to make efforts.
- The more you think about confronting your fears, the more you will subconsciously resolve to dispel your fears.
Warning
- Think rationally and cautiously in the face of fear. If you’re afraid of sharks, don’t rush into shark-infested waters and try to swim.
- Don’t immediately jump into the fray with the scariest thing you can think of. This will end up causing you more injury.
- Some fear-related disorders such as panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and anxiety disorders are very serious illnesses that require medical treatment for mental health. Don’t be afraid to seek help! Come see an expert.
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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 26 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 12,830 times.
It is often easy to ignore our fears and hope they will go away, but unfortunately that rarely works. If you don’t face it, those fears will eventually take over. Is there a way to help you deal with them? The most common way to deal with this is exposure therapy, where you gradually come to terms with the things and situations that scare you. With the right mindset, the results will be so surprising that you’ll have to wonder why you didn’t do this sooner!
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