How to Become Less Selfish

Join a group. Almost any group can. Join a sports league, or your neighborhood reception, or sign up for an after-school French club. Whatever activity you choose, being part of a team will help you realize that it’s important to work with others, and that everyone’s needs must be balanced for success. group work; Not being selfish is part of choosing to be part of a group, so joining a group is a great decision to practice generosity and fairness. Effective teamwork is an extremely important skill for many professions. ^[1]

• Being part of a group will make it difficult for you to put your own needs above the needs of others because on the surface you will be criticized for being selfish, which negatively affects the group as a whole. .

Practice empathy. Empathy means understanding or sharing another’s feelings, or “putting yourself in the other person’s shoes”. Empathy is a skill that can be practiced and enhanced, and helps you become less selfish. Continue to seek other people’s points of view and put off your own needs and desires; In doing so, you will often become more generous and understanding. ^[2] Some ways to practice empathy include: ^[3]

• Ask about the situation of others. Instead of making assumptions or not paying attention to someone whose actions cause you to disagree, ask them what’s going on in life. Be curious and interested in the person and check to see if you can understand their point of view on what’s going on.
• Visualize reasons to sympathize with a person’s behavior. If you are in line behind an elderly woman and she is rather slow to pay the bill, release criticism and anger. It is possible that she spends most of the day alone, and she is chatting with the staff a little longer because she rarely sees anyone else. It doesn’t matter if this is the real reason she’s holding the line; The important thing is that this helps you empathize with others.

Balance your needs with the needs of others. If you have a tendency to put yourself first, no matter what to get what you want, when you want it, then you need to start letting go of your own way and think about finding a balance. for relationships. Start thinking about what your child, friend, or lover wants, even if this conflicts with your needs. Whenever you are in a conflict situation, think about what makes the other person happy instead of what will make yourself happy. Try to find a compromise solution, or try putting your needs aside.

• Remember that everyone’s needs, hopes, and desires are equally important.
• If your crush really wants to watch their favorite team play basketball in a rematch (after a draw) but you want to go to the movies, then go for it this time.

Show appreciation for the kindness others have shown you. If you find yourself taking advantage or expecting a lot from others, such as a friend who always picks you up, or someone who used their personal relationship to get you a job , then it’s time to say “Thank you”. When someone is helpful or kind to you, show your gratitude by thanking them, with words, or even a note or a small gift. Let them know you really appreciate them helping you.

• Try doing a good deed helping a friend or even a stranger, but don’t expect anything in return. A purely unselfish act of kindness done when a reward or praise is not expected. ^[4]

Learn to compromise. Think about the possibility of finding a great solution to a situation where everyone involved is happy to get some of what they wanted. Compromise is a skill that will help you succeed in friendships and romantic relationships, as well as in the business world. ^[5]

• When you’re trying to solve a problem, think about who wants more. If you and your girlfriend are choosing a movie to watch, and she has long wanted to see a certain movie, while you are indifferent to another choice, then you should do it. .
• If you realize you don’t feel too sure about your position, then come to an agreement that pleases the other person. So next time you really want something, then it will be your turn. Things go bad when you choose to go your own way and argue.
• Before you come to a compromise, make sure everyone has time to express their views. This can help you get a more stable, balanced perspective before making a decision.

Share. Let your friend borrow your favorite dress. Share lunch with a friend who forgot to bring rice. Let your boyfriend use your stereo all afternoon.

• Get in the habit of sharing something that you once wanted so badly to possess. This will help you show others how important they are to you and will make it easier for you to give. This will change your self-concept from a selfish person to a generous, unselfish person.

Do volunteering. Spend time volunteering in the community, whether it’s at school, at work, or freelancing. You could work in the school library, clean up the local park, serve in the kitchen, or spend time teaching adults and children how to read. Volunteering is a way to broaden your view of the world by understanding how others are in need and how you can make a difference. Volunteering will also make you more appreciative of what you have when you realize that not everyone is lucky enough to have everything you have.

• Make it a goal to volunteer at least once a week, and realize how much less selfish you feel.