How to Stop Being an Attention Guy

Everyone needs attention at one time or another. However, you may be the type of person who wants to get attention all the time. Attention-seekers crave attention to compensate for feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. If you perceive yourself to be this type of person, there are ways you can practice to avoid these behaviors.

Table of Contents

Express yourself in a healthy way

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Practice an art form. Attention-seekers often behave in ways that aren’t real. They do it to get attention, not to show off their personality. Doing something creative is a great way to truly express yourself, to learn to be yourself. You can choose whatever art form you want, including painting, writing, making music, singing, or making crafts. ^{[1] X Research Source}

If you’ve never done creative work, you might be apprehensive. Try things that interest you, even if you don’t know how good you are.
Remember that what you do is for yourself. Learn to express yourself creatively without worrying about what others think or planning to show off what you do.

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Use social media constructively. Attention-seekers use social media in the wrong way. It’s fine if you use social media to keep in touch with friends and keep up to date with the latest events. However, if you find yourself using social media to get attention, think before you post. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Be aware if most of your posts are full of gossip or bragging.
Consider whether your posts are often to blame or solicit praise or support.
Attention-loving people will post something like “Dam all the sauce with cool friends!”, while you can just post a picture of yourself and your friends with the status line “Thanks for giving me people good friend”.
If you need support, instead of writing something like, “Today is the worst day of my life. Just want to dig a hole in the dead,” you can replace it with “I had a bad day. Anyone Can I talk to you? I need your support.” You are allowed to directly call for help on social networks. Remember, though, that you’re asking for support, and keep the conversation private with the person you’re offering to confide in.

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Focus on others. When you want attention all the time, you will only focus on yourself. Shift your focus and try focusing on someone else. There are many ways to do this. You can spend time with someone you care about, volunteer, or even spend time getting to know other people. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Are there many people in the community who need help? You can volunteer to cook rice for charity. You can also apply for a place to volunteer at child care centers, as a free tutor.
Spend time with friends and family, asking about their lives. Remember how much you care about them and invest time talking to them.
You can create many different ways of caring. For example, you might organize a charity clothing fundraiser, or do a neighborhood clean-up.
However, do not compare yourself to others, because it will create a feeling of inferiority. Often you just compare your everyday experiences with other people’s outstanding moments, making you feel like you’re not good enough. This will make you crave more attention. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Make positive changes

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Forgive yourself. It’s not good to wallow in mistakes forever, but many people have a habit of tormenting themselves about what happens. Allow yourself to be forgiven and learn from your mistakes. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

You cannot change the past, but you can still learn valuable lessons from it. Tell yourself it’s amazing that you can learn something new and change the way you look at things in the future.
If you remember times when you acted in a way that attracted attention, forgive yourself for those things. The fact that you are already aware of your behavior is a big step towards preventing this habit in the future.
Have a nice conversation with yourself, the way you would say to a friend when they’re having a hard time. Say to yourself, “I know I didn’t do well this time, but I tried really hard. Everyone is clumsy at times. That’s okay and I’ll try harder next time.”

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Practice living every day. Choose ways to help you practice being real every day. That is, doing things you enjoy or can affirm something important about yourself. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Learn to be yourself and act honestly, without worrying about what others think. You can do one of these things every day, when you feel like you’re being yourself, true to how you’re feeling right now. Be honest and say something you didn’t dare to say before, like: “Actually, I don’t like that coffee shop very much.” Or wear something comfortable, even if it doesn’t look stylish.
You can also motivate yourself to learn acceptance. You can say to yourself, “I have my own worth, I am lovable the way I am, or: I accept and love all aspects of myself equally and I am trying to grow and change myself.”

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Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness means focusing on the present, not getting caught up in thoughts and emotions that lead you astray from reality. You can practice mindfulness through meditation. However, there are other ways to achieve mindfulness. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

You can find books or websites that teach you how to meditate, or go to a center that has a beginner’s course. You can also get an app like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace.
If meditation doesn’t work for you, you can be mindful by becoming aware of the sensations your physical body is experiencing. If distracted by guilt, shame, or bad memories, draw awareness to the feel of the fabric on your skin, or your feet touching the ground.

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Commit to change. It will be difficult for you to change yourself without purposeful commitment. If you want to change or eliminate attention-grabbing, commit to it and take specific steps to reach your goal. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

Write down the commitment. You can pin it to the calendar, marking the date you commit the change.
Write down a daily or weekly goal, like: “I will meditate for 5 minutes a day” or “Every week, I will volunteer 5 hours for a charity.”
Tell everyone about your plan. Tell a trusted friend or family member. They can help check your progress on commitments.

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Spend quality time alone. If you’re an attention-grabber, you might try to spend time with lots of people. Learn to make time for yourself too. You should set a goal of how much time you will spend alone each day or week.

When you’re alone, do things you enjoy. This makes being alone more enjoyable and engaging. You can read your favorite books or magazines, take a walk around the park or neighborhood, invest time in a hobby.
You may not be comfortable being alone at first. However, if you get over the initial discomfort, you’ll likely enjoy some alone time.

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Process tracking. Once you’ve started practicing positive changes, take the time to reflect and track where you’re going. You can keep a journal, consult trusted people, or take time to review the past day or week.

Be kind to yourself. Big changes in yourself don’t happen overnight.
Praise yourself for each positive change. Take note of your own work. Say to yourself, “Very good. I tried my best and it worked”.

Trace the source of your attention-seeking behavior. Determining why you want attention will help you get to the root of the problem. For example, it could be because you always feel like you’re not good enough, are afraid to be alone, or feel like your current life is unsatisfactory. Confronting these issues helps you overcome your tendency to want attention.

Journaling helps you explore your feelings.
You can also talk to a psychologist, who can help you identify potential problems.

Find a support system

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Rely on friends and family. Surely there will be someone you know who can be honest with you. It should also be someone you know will always care and want to help you. You will need to trust their opinions and be willing to listen, no matter how difficult it may be. It could be a sibling, aunt, best friend or co-worker. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Choose someone you meet and interact with regularly. That way, they can notice your behavior on a daily basis.
Make sure the person is willing to tell you things you may not want to hear.
Make sure the person is kind and tolerant, even if you have to share opinions that may be harsh.

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Ask for honest reviews. Share with that person the types of behavior you are concerned about. Have them watch over you. From there they can tell you if your emotional response is dramatic or exaggerated. ^{[10] X Research Source}

If you don’t know what kind of behavior to correct, it can be as simple as letting the person know that you’re worried about yourself being an attention-seeker. Ask them to point out what behavior shows that.
You can also ask the other person if he or she perceives you as an attention-seeker.
You could say something like, “I’m trying to fix my attention-seeking behavior. Have you noticed me like that? You can watch and let me know if you see me doing attention-seeking things again. Are not?”.

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Join a support group. Attention-seeking is often linked to addictive behavior or specific personality types. If you are not struggling with a substance, then there is no need for a support group. However, if you notice compulsive behaviors or addictions in yourself, consider seeking out a support group. ^{[11] X Research Source}

The addictions commonly associated with attention-grabbing behavior are alcoholism, drug abuse, and uncontrolled eating.
But just because you’re an attention-seeker, that doesn’t mean you’re at high risk for addiction.
Seeking help from a group can be helpful when you don’t have a loved one to help you.
You can look up a list of support groups online. If there are no groups in your area, online groups can also assist you.

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Go to psychotherapy. If there is no individual or group that can help you, you can see a psychologist. Psychiatrists can help you deal with your behavior problems and explain the underlying causes. ^{[12] X Research Source}

You can have individual therapy or group therapy as you see fit.
You can go online to find a list of local therapists. Many pages have profiles of individual doctors. You can look up their expertise or experience relevant to your problem.
Some therapists accept health insurance or have a price list that suits the situation.

Advice

If you find yourself slipping into old attention-grabbing behavior, don’t be too harsh. Remember that any change takes time. Let’s continue to practice.
If you’re having trouble committing, ask friends, family, or a counselor for support.

Warning

Attention-seeking behavior can sometimes be dangerous, as a person can put themselves in a dangerous situation, injuring themselves to get attention. If you notice this type of behavior in yourself, or have someone tell you about it, seek professional help from a psychologist.

Steps

Express yourself in a healthy way

Make positive changes

Find a support system

Advice

Warning

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