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This article was co-written by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is a consultant psychologist and hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Operating a practice called Therapy Under Hypnosis, Julia has over eight years of experience in counseling and psychotherapy, specializing in emotional and behavioral issues. She holds a certificate in clinical hypnosis from Bosurgi Method Schop and is certified in Hypnotherapy and Psychodynamic Oriented Psychotherapy. Tri holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and marriage and family therapy from Alliant International University and a master of science degree in child and developmental psychology from Moscow State University.
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We all fear something in life at some point. The human brain is programmed to perceive fear and feel fear, but that doesn’t mean you have to live in constant and overwhelming fear.
Steps
Instantly control fear
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Assess the situation. Fear is a natural response to perceived threat, and in some situations this is beneficial. However, the feeling of fear also stimulates the “fight or flight” response even in situations where there is no threat. Take a few seconds to assess whether there is any real danger, or just a reaction to an unfamiliar phenomenon. [1] X Research Source
- For example, if you hear a loud noise in the night, take a few seconds to think about what caused the noise, like a neighbor closing the car door.
- If it’s a real thing, do something about it, like make an appointment with your doctor to check for a mole that worries you, or call the police if a stranger is around the house. .
- Think about whether your reaction comes from a feeling of fear or a phobia. Although phobias also cause fear responses, these responses are not proportionate to the actual danger. This condition makes you unable to cope, and you may need the help of a therapist or doctor to treat it.
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Breath. When you feel scared and can’t think rationally, you’ll start to breathe too fast, which increases the feeling of fear. Take a deep breath and relax your body. Starting at the shoulders, gradually relax each muscle group down to the feet while breathing. [2] X Research Source
- Not only does it have a calming effect and provide enough oxygen to the body, focusing on your breath and relaxing your body also helps you distract your mind from what’s scaring you.
- When we feel fear, the hypothalamus in the brain (which controls the fight-or-flight response) activates the parasympathetic nervous system and causes feelings of stress. This phenomenon also stimulates the adrenal glands to release a large number of hormones into the body, so even if the fear revolves around going to parties and being exposed to many strangers, the hypothalamus in the brain is still active. interpret this as a “fight or flight” situation.
- So breathe to soothe the hypothalamus.
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Write down what scares you. In the moment when fears are gathering in your mind, take out a pen and paper and write down everything that is scaring you. Here’s how to become aware of your fears. You need to acknowledge them, and this makes it easier to dispel your fears. [3] X Research Sources
- Many things that seem scary can be attributed to a basic fear, such as fear of death (a mole can cause cancer), fear of being unloved (going to a party and meeting strangers).
- Acknowledging your fears won’t magically dissolve them, but it will help you interpret your fears more clearly.
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Talk to others. When you feel scared, call someone to talk to. You can call a family member or close friend, or even call an anxiety hotline.
- Talking isn’t just about making connections, but the person you’re talking to can also help you fight your fears.
Control feelings of fear in the long run
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Change your way of thinking. Feelings of fear are related to the use and creation of pathways in the brain. To control fear, you need to renew your brain. Thanks to the neuroplasticity of the brain, this is not as difficult as we think. [4] X Research Sources
- Neuroplasticity is related to the brain’s processing of memories and how they learn. By practicing “desensitization,” people can change the pathways in the brain that normally respond fearfully to what they perceive to be scary. Essentially, “desensitization” is just a gradual approach to exposure to the fear trigger and a controlled environment.
- Start by asking yourself reflective questions like: What are you afraid of? Are your fears realistic? What’s the worst that could happen to you in that situation? What can you do to protect yourself against that consequence?
- Chart your emotional response to physical stimuli and the surrounding circumstances that trigger your fear. For example, if you have a fear of spiders, the trigger for the fear emotional response here is the presence of the spider, and this can increase the level of panic, depending on your response. Charting your emotions will help you train to react in isolation instead of emotionally to the presence of the spider.
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Practice a detached response to scary things. Isolated response means that you react to the fear triggers from the point of view rather than reacting emotionally. Here’s something you can learn; it helps you analyze thought patterns so you will understand how you react emotionally to scary things.
- Acknowledge that you are facing something you feel afraid of, and that you can react emotionally (causing increased fear and anxiety) or react in isolation.
- Monitor your body’s reactions. These reactions may include tremors, chills, palpitations, nausea, abdominal pain, dizziness, crying, interrupted sleep, rapid or shallow breathing, feelings of anxiety or panic, and/ or sleep disturbance.
- Train yourself with “mantras”. Pick a few spells and write them down so you’re always available when you need them. Repeat the mantras as you begin to have an emotional response. For example, “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” or “I can’t control the consequences, so I’ll let it go and trust that everything will be fine.”
- Do something that is physically pleasurable. If you can, drink a cup of tea and give your full attention to it – the warmth of the tea, the aroma of the tea, and the steam in the cup. Focusing on pleasant things is a form of mindfulness and means that you are living in the present moment, the exact opposite of fear.
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Don’t avoid things that scare you. When you avoid fear triggers, your fear will only increase, and your body will have a hard time getting used to the scary stuff, which is a way to help you reduce the feeling of fear. [5] X Research Sources
- Start slowly in the process of dealing with the things that scare you. For example, if you are afraid of spiders, start by confronting small spiders in your home, then gradually confront larger spiders.
- If you are afraid of heights, try going to high places with safety measures instead of immediately trying skydiving.
- Remember: the more you avoid something, the more it scares you, and fear paralyzes you. We can’t avoid feeling fear because it’s part of human physiology, but we can train our responses to fear triggers. There is nothing scarier than what we imagine.
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Find specialist help. Sometimes you just can’t handle the fear on your own. This condition often presents as panic disorder, anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder behaviors, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Seeking professional help is an effective way to deal with anxiety and fear.
- Medication can also help, but make sure you take it as part of an overall program to overcome your fears. Counseling is also part of the therapy process to retrain the brain.
Advice
- Keep calm. Think of a place that makes you feel happy and say to yourself, “I am not afraid”.
- Things are not always as scary as they seem. Your mind can make you think things are much worse than they really are. Be courageous and believe that everything will be fine.
- Remember to keep the phone in hand. That way you’ll have the peace of mind that you can call someone when you’re in a panic attack.
- Some people use drawing to calm down after a panic attack. You can use a pen, tablet or photo collage, even write a poem or short story (with light content, not scary). Creative activities can help you get rid of your feelings of fear.
- If you love watching horror movies but it scares you to sleep at night, you should watch it early in the morning and do fun things during the day. When you’ve just finished baking a batch of cookies, finished a song, gone to the ball game or planted a garden, the movie “World War Z” won’t be on your mind anymore.
- If possible, look for evidence to uncover your fears.
- If you need help, call the toll-free hotline 18001769.
- Leave the lights on when you sleep.
- Think of pleasant things when you go to bed and listen to your favorite music.
- Hug a stuffed animal or pillow and think about the movie or game you’ll enjoy the next day.
- Use the “4-7-8” breathing technique. This technique will help you fall asleep faster. Also, think of certain random events, and you will fall asleep within 30 minutes.
Warning
- Do not watch horror movies before going to bed to avoid nightmares.
- Don’t imagine yourself in a scary scene while reading a book or watching a movie. This can make some people feel terrible.
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This article was co-written by Julia Lyubchenko, MS, MA. Julia Lyubchenko is a consultant psychologist and hypnotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Operating a practice called Therapy Under Hypnosis, Julia has over eight years of experience in counseling and psychotherapy, specializing in emotional and behavioral issues. She holds a certificate in clinical hypnosis from Bosurgi Method Schop and is certified in Hypnotherapy and Psychodynamic Oriented Psychotherapy. Tri holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and marriage and family therapy from Alliant International University and a master of science degree in child and developmental psychology from Moscow State University.
This article has been viewed 3,004 times.
We all fear something in life at some point. The human brain is programmed to perceive fear and feel fear, but that doesn’t mean you have to live in constant and overwhelming fear.
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