How to Avoid Someone Who’s Making You “Stress”

There are many reasons you might want to avoid someone who is making your heart flutter. Maybe the person is already in a relationship, maybe you are also in a committed relationship, or maybe that person is your co-worker. Or maybe you just want to avoid the person just because you know they’re not right for you. Whatever the reason, there are ways to manage your heatstroke in a healthy way. Read on for helpful tips!

Table of Contents

Avoid unnecessary interactions

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Try to avoid touching the person. It sounds obvious, but this can be a challenge if you don’t think about it on purpose. You may not be able to completely avoid them if you two work at the same company or go to the same school, but you can take steps to avoid seeing them, except in the case of force majeure. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Changing habits can be difficult, especially if you have to do it for emotional reasons. Be patient with yourself and start with what you can do.
This step may include changing where you eat your lunch or where you buy your morning coffee.
If you often run into your partner while walking your dog, consider choosing a different route.

Change of routine

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Change your schedule to limit seeing the person. In addition to trying to find new places, you can start changing your schedule for the day. This is a very effective way to avoid the person knowing what you are doing and dropping by to say hello. Choose to change to a few activities that are least disruptive. This process can be difficult, even sad, but you will do it. ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, if you usually exercise in the evening, try going to the gym or going for a run in the morning.
It can be tough to change habits, but it’s probably one of the best ways to avoid seeing the person.

Hide that person on social media

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Avoid viewing their posts. Their interesting photos posted on social networks can push back your resistance if you continue to follow them. This can also trigger distractions that you need to avoid. To avoid the temptation to scroll through their photos, even to the places they frequent, hide the person on your social media accounts. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you want, you can unfriend the person or unfollow them. But if you’re worried that this might raise questions or draw attention, the hidden option is best. You will no longer see their posts without having to stop being friends with them on social media.

Set boundaries with that person

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Don’t flirt or touch them. If the person likes you too, it will be harder for you to refrain from acting on your emotions, especially if you can’t completely avoid them. Make it clear with your words and actions that you don’t mean to pursue them, no matter how difficult this may be. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Refrain from flirting, even if the other person suggests it first. Whether they compliment you or show interest in you, you have to try to hold back and not reciprocate them. If two people work together, say something like, “I’m trying to stay professional. Thank you for respecting this.”
Avoid physical contact. Do not touch them if the two sides happen to pass each other. This gesture can show that you like them.
These temptations are hard to resist, so don’t beat yourself up if you do. Try to get back on track with words of encouragement.

Focus on other aspects of your life

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Try to distract yourself with activities you enjoy. Pick up a new pastime or rediscover an old hobby. You can also separate your mind from your emotions by taking on more projects at work if you feel up to it. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Try new activities like learning to play tennis or signing up for a drawing class. These activities will keep your mind busy and have things to do in your spare time.
You can also make time for tasks you’ve been meaning to do for a long time, like cleaning out closets. No matter how hard it is, it will bring many benefits to you during this time.

Spend time with family and friends

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Try to connect with people you love. This will bring you joy and help you get out of your emotions. It’s just that you have to avoid places where the other person may also be present. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Invite your best friend to pack a backpack and go on a trip that the two of you often chat about and never get tired of.
Ask your mom if she wants to start hiking with you on the weekends.

Talk to someone you trust

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Talk to a trusted friend to find sympathy. The feeling when you have a crush on someone and can’t (or shouldn’t) be around them is hard to bear. A sympathetic friend to whom you can vent will help you process your emotions. They can open up new perspectives on your story and give you the support you need. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Try saying “This guy, I seem to have feelings for Mr. Duy. I don’t think I will pursue this love, but I can’t stop it. Do you have time to talk to me?”
Remember to choose someone you can trust who won’t reveal your secrets to anyone.

Write down the emotional consequences of dating

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Remind yourself of the possible consequences. This process can be complicated, so be patient with yourself. If you’re trying to avoid the person you have a crush on, it’s probably because you know your relationship with them won’t work out. Make a list of reasons why you shouldn’t be with them. These things can be more helpful when written down on paper. When you need to get away from that person, remind yourself that you might get hurt if you pursue this relationship. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you could tell yourself, “If I start dating Thu, I’m going to hurt Son. They just broke up not long ago. I don’t want to have to deal with this.”
You can also think: “Last time I tried to date Quyen, I was hurt a lot because of her. I don’t want to go through that feeling anymore.”
Weigh the harmful things realistically. If you have a crush on someone who isn’t right for you, remind yourself that this relationship could be damaging to your career, friendships, or family.
If you or your partner are both married or in a relationship, remind yourself of this fact every time you want to see them.

Avoid thinking about that person

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Find ways to distract your thoughts. Dealing with emotions is vitally important, but insight and obsession are only a thin line apart. It’s normal to get caught up in an obsession, but try to break the habit of constantly thinking about the person to get over it. When you find yourself thinking about them, acknowledge the thought and push it away. ^{[9] X Research Source}

Say to yourself, “Okay, I was thinking about Hoang. Now I’ll move on to thinking about getting together with my friends to play games tonight.”
Try setting a time limit. Remind yourself that you will think about them for 5 minutes, then move on. Set the time on your phone to get it right.

List the qualities that you like in that person

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When you’re ready to date, find someone who has the same qualities as that person. While the person you’re having a crush on can’t be your other half, that doesn’t negate the great things about them that you love. Think about their attractions and write them down so you can find a mate later. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, maybe that person is always gentle with your pets. Later when you start dating, you remember that the person you choose is definitely an animal lover.
If you admire the person’s work ethic, focus on finding someone with similar qualities.

Cut off contact if necessary

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Get out of this situation if you can. It sounds almost impossible, but it’s understandable. You are in a dilemma. If you’ve tried to redirect your thoughts and set boundaries, that’s fine, but sometimes you need to cut them off completely, no matter how hard it is. Don’t answer the person’s phone calls, texts, or social media messages. ^{[11] X Research Source}

This is an extremely difficult process, so be kind to yourself. You can also rely on friends when needed.

Ask yourself if your current relationship is happy

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Evaluate whether your needs are being met. Sometimes people develop feelings for someone who is different from the person next to them. Maybe you’re looking for a change in your current relationship. Evaluate the attractive features of that person that you cannot find in your partner. ^{[12] X Research Source}

For example, maybe you’re attracted to that person because you both share a passion for music. Ask your partner or lover to go to concerts with you more often. That way, you can meet your own needs and cool down your feelings for the other person.
This is an emotional process. Tell yourself that no matter what emotions you are going through, everything will be okay.

See a therapist if you’re having trouble

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See a therapist for help. Sometimes the intense feelings you have for someone are hard to resist, especially if you feel like you can’t act on your feelings. If this is causing you depression or anxiety, seek professional help. They can help you find a healthy way to handle the situation. ^{[13] X Research Source}

Don’t worry too much when you go to a psychologist for the first time. You may be a little embarrassed at first, but you’ve made the right decision to prioritize your mental health.

Advice

Try to mention the things you don’t like about the person. That could be your motivation to stay away from them.
Please be patient. This is a very difficult situation to deal with, so be kind to yourself.

Steps