How to Evict a roommate from the house

Many people have experienced friends or relatives seeking shelter during difficult times. Most of us are happy to help them, at least in the short term. But when you suddenly realize the situation is that the guest has automatically turned into a long-term “roommate”, it is very difficult to get them out of the house peacefully.

Table of Contents

Ask the tenant to move out

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Determine why you want your tenant to move out. You need to understand your reasons before you talk to them. Review the agreement they made when they moved in or the promises made/unfulfilled. Assess their current situation and behavior on a factual basis. While “don’t want to live with them” reason is enough to ask your tenant to move out, you need to stick to specifics like “they never wash the dishes”, “they promised to do so.” moved out a few months ago”, etc… before talking to them.

Record problems as they occur, including the date. You need to keep detailed and specific records of their behavior, in case things get difficult.
This dialogue will not be easy and will most likely damage the relationship between the two sides. However, living with huge differences or serious problems will also hurt a friendship, so you need to speak up if they stick around for too long.

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Dialogue with respect and reason. While you may feel fed up, tired, or compromised, it’s important not to rely on emotions and unreasonable demands. Give your reasons for asking them to move out and let them know that you understand how difficult that is. Talking to them is like talking to a colleague, sticking to facts and not letting emotions rule.

“We enjoyed your stay here last time, but unfortunately we need to get your room back so we have to ask you to move out within two weeks.”
Stick to the reasons you have prepared. If something goes wrong or they don’t live up to their commitments, remind them that they didn’t do their part and need to move to a new place.

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Provide detailed and objective evidence if they ask why they have to go. Don’t respond with things like “because I don’t like you”, or “because you’re lazy”. You need to give specific examples instead of insulting them. Now is the time to have your list ready. If there is a series of problems, you should specify each incident and the date it occurred. When they ask ‘why’, talk about 2-3 times they made promises that they didn’t do or caused you trouble.

Focus on the reasons you want them to leave, trying to avoid mentioning all of their flaws, if possible. “We need more space”, “we cannot afford to let you stay here anymore”, etc…

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Set a deadline by which they need to move out. Telling them they have to leave tonight can be overwhelming and stressful, and the person staying in may not have anywhere to move. Instead, pick the date they need to leave your house and let them know that’s the deadline. In general, you should give them at least 1-2 weeks or until the end of the month to give them time to prepare.

“I hope you move out by April 20th.”
If there is a good reason that the time is not appropriate, you can talk to them to find a more reasonable date. However, do not delay more than 3-5 days.

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Seek information or other options as a goodwill. If you know of other sources that can provide accommodation, get together to help your guest move out. You can even introduce them, letting them know they have to go but there are other options. They may disagree with your opinion, but your actions show that you still care about their interests and help relieve stress.

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Be firm, clear, and consistent about your decisions. Once you’ve decided to ask your roommate out of the house, you need to stand your ground. Conversations can end up going bad and loud, no matter how well prepared you are. However, you need to be firm with your decision. If your roommate convinces you to change your mind, they’ll think it’s okay to continue breaking the rules and not keep your word. If things have gotten so bad that you have to ask them to move out, you need to be firm.

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Understand that this incident can damage the relationship between the two parties. Asking a friend or relative to stay at home is stressful and can very well lead to conflicts later on. In the end, though, letting them stay at home for too long is just as damaging to the relationship. If the two sides are constantly in conflict, the roommate is always taking advantage of you, or you simply don’t get along with the person you live with, then your relationship will become toxic if you live under the same roof. . However, you can also try some ways to maintain the friendship:

Help them find a new place to live or find a job.
Avoid harsh words, even in stressful situations. If they get angry, stay calm and reiterate why it’s important for them to find a new place to live. Don’t throw insults.
Make an appointment with them, invite them over to dinner, and continue to meet as friends.
If there’s a serious argument or disagreement, it’s probably best to cut them off altogether.

Deporting people staying under the law

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Send them a letter asking them to move out within up to 30 days. Although a roommate is not a full-time tenant, there are some rules between landlords and tenants that may also apply if they have been in your home for more than 30 days. ^{[1] X Research Resources} Talk to an attorney to have them draft and send the notice of eviction. Sending a written warning in advance is essential to ensure you’ve done your part.

This notice will place them in the “discretionary tenant” position. You need to be in this situation if you want to pursue legal action, so don’t ignore it.

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File a formal request for eviction of the tenant with the local court if they still do not move out. If they’ve already paid for food or bills, they’re probably legally considered “discretionary tenants,” and then it’s much harder to evict them. ^{[2] X Research Sources} If they ignore the first notice, you will have to file a formal eviction request with the district court to remove them from the home. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

If you’re going to get a court order, you’ll need to prepare a list of problems and violations (called “reasoned evictions”) and a copy of your lease or other agreement.
In general, your letter should state where the occupant will pick up their belongings in the event they don’t move out and the specific date their belongings will be removed. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

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Do not change locks unless you are concerned for your safety. If you suddenly lock your door from the “arbitrary tenant” of your home, especially if their belongings are still in the home, you could face civil lawsuits and costly legal action. The act of changing locks, if causing trouble or preventing occupants from accessing their property, can even land you in jail in some cases. Furthermore, this will often drive stress up and lead to more serious problems. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Once you have a court order and/or have informed the police that you are concerned for your safety, you can change the locks without any hassle.

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Call the police if they still refuse to move. Unless they are the legal occupants of the home (usually this is determined if they receive the letter or are listed on the tenancy agreement), the tenant may be evicted from your home as an “intruder”. Of course, calling the police is only for emergencies, and even the mere mention of calling the police on 113 could be enough to kick the other person out the door. Some police officers refuse to handle things like this. But if you have sent a notice and/or filed an eviction request with the court, they will come and take the other person out of your home like an intruder.

Set ground rules for your guests

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Set rules and limits in advance. If you feel like the other person is becoming more of a roommate than a guest, you need to set rules as soon as possible. This will give you a reason to lean on when you finally have to ask them out of the house – you can reiterate specific rules you set out earlier instead of getting angry.

Set requirements within the first week. Do they have to pay rent? Do they have to go to a job interview? You need to set standards that they need to meet if they want to stay in your home.

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Set a timeline for them to move out. Before formally asking your tenant to move out, sit down and ask them when they plan to move out. If the ball is on their side, it will be easier for them to meet the move-out deadline as that day approaches. If they have no plans, you should set this deadline. Think of a specific timeline like “when they get a job” or “after 6 months”.

If they need a job, work together with them to set specific goals to achieve – one application a day, rewrite your resume, etc. Make sure they are really trying to find a job without must be just taking advantage of a free accommodation.
If you’re wondering if you should let them stay, you can schedule a trial period. When they move in, tell them they can stay for 2-3 months and say you’re not sure if they can stay. ^{[6] X Research Source}

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Record problems and problems that arise. If the roommate breaks the rules, is disrespectful, or doesn’t keep his promises, record them in your notebook with the date they happened. Reiterate that this will help you to have concrete evidence instead of vague general or emotional reasons when talking to them about moving.

Keep things as objective as possible. Asking them to move out doesn’t necessarily damage the friendship, especially if you’re basing it on factual reasons instead of emotional ones.

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Help them bounce back. Some people will find their own way out with encouragement. Help them review resumes and cover letters when they apply for jobs, visit open houses with them, and encourage them to open up and become more independent. If you can help someone fend for themselves, they’ll probably leave without conflict.

Regularly review goals and commitments with them, and help them work toward making them a reality.
If you can financially support them to move to a new place, maybe they just need that to be able to move out. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Advice

You need to keep your emotions under control at all costs. The purpose here is not to argue but to successfully communicate with them about your wishes and the other person needs to respect.
In most cases, you should try to talk to them alone. Feeling like being joined in the attack can make them “crazy”.

Warning

Make sure you don’t get angry. If you’re angry about an incident or situation, wait until you’ve calmed down before talking.
Make sure the other person doesn’t keep any of your valuables before you question them having to move.

Steps

Ask the tenant to move out

Deporting people staying under the law

Set ground rules for your guests

Advice

Warning

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