How to Turn Your Life Around

Make an action plan. Once the trajectory is clearer, now is the time to develop a basic action plan. Think of as many things you can do to get started on the path you see yourself taking in the future. You don’t have to start today, you don’t have to be tomorrow, but you have to know where you’re going and what you want to do.

• We already know the ultimate goal (going back to school, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc.), so how do you get there? This section will answer the above question. What steps – small steps, big steps, anything – can cause the car to start shifting? When the time comes, when you are ready, you will know what the future holds for you.

Remove obstacles. Whether it’s quitting smoking, leaving your lousy boyfriend, or moving out of your destructive roommate’s apartment, you’ve got to do it. These things are holding you back. They also create negative thinking and turn all obstacles into really big peaks. Getting through them can be frustrating, but you know you can. Getting rid of a toxic friend is bad. Having to live alone in a crappy studio apartment is terrible. Going through rehab is terrible, too. But it’s the things you can do that make you a better person in the future and, frankly, you know this too well.

• Things like “quitting a job” seem to fall into another category. Nowadays, you need money to survive. But realistically speaking, you can quit your job and move in with someone temporarily if you have to. You can spend the weekend looking for a new job. No one said this would be a smooth process. Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. You have to be determined to make the effort.

Find a mentor. Why? Because we all need someone who’s been through something similar – to get advice, a comforting shoulder, and advance warning. If you think that no one in your life has ever hit a dead end, you are wrong. Part of human life is fighting battles, all you need to do is ask questions. The possibility that you know the bad past of all the people you know is almost nonexistent.

• Chances are, however, that by the time you get to the “find a mentor,” a few names are already on your mind. Usually, this is a very natural process. If you have to ask someone for advice, that person probably isn’t your mentor. This position must be for those who have experienced everything to the point of boredom. You need to make the most of their presence in your life by opening up and asking for help when you need it.

Not fake. Don’t feel offended, we all do. We all say “yes” to invitations we don’t want to accept, we smile and nod at people when we really just want to glare at them. We all do what society thinks we should and just stop there, no question. Let’s start asking questions . Really take care to say “no thanks” when you don’t want to do something. Right now, be a little selfish and improve yourself. That’s not an excuse to be rude—it’s an excuse to do what you want.

• This won’t hurt other people’s feelings if you’re just being true to who you are. Declining an invitation with “No thanks. I’m not in the mood,” isn’t offensive. People can ask more questions, but they don’t need an explanation if you don’t want to. You are just being yourself. If they have a problem with that, that’s their own problem.

Exercise, get enough sleep and eat right. Your mind and body are connected—if your body is healthy, it will be a lot easier for your mind to settle. What are the three principles of having a body that is always ready to face the world? Exercise, get enough and good sleep, eat healthy. If you don’t have time for these things, make time for them. You owe it to yourself.

• With exercise, try to build a “cycle” 3 to 4 times per week. Whether it’s going to a boxing class or going for a walk with the dog, every activity benefits. Just go out and get in the habit of doing them. Doubt why this is so important? Studies have shown that exercise can make you happier. ^[1]
• Get enough sleep—your decision making depends on it. Seriously. ^[2] When we’re both physically and mentally exhausted, we don’t have the energy to consider what’s really good for us. Need an example? The chalupa you ate last night was a good idea. Only when it comes to your life does it really matter. Get 7-9 hours of sleep every night. That sleep will affect the remaining 15-17 hours more than we admit.
• Your diet can also affect your mood. ^[3] Eating lots of whole grains, fruits and vegetables, and using only lean meat and low-fat dairy products will give you an advantage you previously lacked.

Promote yourself. The little things can make the biggest change. Getting out of bed in the morning instead of hitting the snooze button will leave you feeling energized, even if logically otherwise. Listen to upbeat music, write small notes with positive content, reward yourself for your progress—every action builds your momentum and keeps you going.

• Change the alarm to a great ringtone. Like everyone, you wake up every morning and all you can think is, “…No.” Starting the day with a negative attitude will really make it difficult for the rest of the day. So start your day as positive as possible. Replace your alarm clock with music that energizes you (whether it’s The Circle of Life or The Ride of the Valkyries , it’s up to you). “No” can turn into “Excellent!” easier than you think.

Build a daily work routine. Many studies show that successful and happy people stick to their daily work routine. That routine isn’t lying in bed all day and gobbling up buckets of fried chicken, that’s for sure. But more importantly, that routine allows them to conserve energy. When you have a daily routine, automatic mode will help you focus your mind to reduce and eliminate problems that arise. You can only make so many decisions in a day, and this routine allows you to keep your energy up for the important tasks. ^[4]

• Your routine should include all three of the things mentioned above (eating, exercising, and sleeping right) and whatever makes you happy. A little work, a little play and some self-improvement time, of any kind (meditation/finding a job/going back to school, etc.)

Make the most important decisions in the morning. Why? Most likely you won’t be emotionally and physically exhausted at that point. Decision fatigue is real, like bad decisions about late-night chalupa. When night falls, you have done too much of the day, you throw away caution and let the present person make bad decisions for the people of the future. Don’t do that!

• So when something important comes up, wait until you wake up. You need as much energy as possible to decide on the best moves. There’s a reason why that way of speaking is formed!

Perform random acts of kindness. One of the easiest ways to live great is to focus on others. It’s easy for you and you’ll feel good, not to mention you’re making the world a better place. And for a moment, you forget about your problems and take care of other people’s problems. What’s not to like?

• Helping others brings us extraordinary comfort. By doing so, we will break out of the usual rut of not having enough energy for ourselves. So, whether it’s donating to a thrift store or taking advantage of time volunteering at a local shelter, try it all out. There should also be good karma for safety!

Put yourself in the frame. No one can go from 0 to 60 km in 3.5 seconds, and you should not expect this of yourself either. We all need the support and push we need to stay on track. No Olympic athlete starts a race sitting, you know that? Whatever you need to do, do it.

• Then sign up for that class. Find a therapist. Take your job search seriously. Accept online dating. Join Alcoholics Anonymous. Call your mom and make up for her. Go to the gym that you drive past every day when you get home from work. The first step will always be the hardest and everything will go smoother from there.

Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Now that you have the right mindset and healthy body, it’s time to do what you’ve always wanted to do. Something you’ve always been afraid to do. You have to be brave. Take it one step at a time, no matter how long the road to turning your life around.

• The class you signed up for? Go there. Therapist? Book. Submit a job application. Dating. Join meetings. Initiate a family lunch. Climb on that treadmill. The feeling of being amazed at yourself and what you can create will be so amazing that you just can’t stop.

Perform periodic reviews. Consider this a diet for your soul. Ineffective diets need to be eliminated, so a habitual assessment is essential. Are you feeling better? Are things slowly but surely getting on track? Can you improve your current effort? Just as you increase the intensity of your workout as you progress, you also need to boost your brain.

• What works now may not be enough for you in the next few weeks. Once you understand your initial effort, increase it and increase it further. There are very few things in life that you can suddenly give up, and this is not one of them.
• Similarly, what you think will be beneficial may not work at all. If that’s the problem, talk to your counselor and get their advice. Is that something you need to work on, give up entirely, or is there another strategy you can implement?