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This article was co-written by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in supporting families, children and couples, treating issues of all types of psychological disorders, trauma and abuse. Besides, he also has expertise in negotiation and information gathering. Dr. Brown is a speaker and author of three books, and writes for many journals, scientific journals and popular publications. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing, and a bachelor’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling from Great Falls University. Dr. Brown also holds a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is a fellow of the American Academy of Experts on Traumatic Stress and a diplomat for the National Crisis Management Center. Dr. Brown continues to serve on many psychology and scientific boards.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
You’ve probably heard stories about “the one we missed” at some point in your life. Maybe it’s the person you lost, maybe it’s the person who lost you. Let’s learn about this romantic phenomenon and see what you should do in your situation.
Steps
Is there really someone we missed?
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Yes, it could be an ex you really miss. Often the “one we miss” is someone you didn’t treat them well or had to leave them for some reason. You will often think about them and find it difficult to move forward, simply because you are forever nostalgic and telling yourself if only. [1] X Trusted Source Association for Psychpogical Science Go to source
- When such people appear in your life, you will always compare others with them or always think about them. It will be difficult for you to maintain your other emotional relationships because deep inside you still want and hope to one day be able to get back with that person.
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Yes, maybe you missed someone because you met them at the wrong time. Have you met someone and felt “right person, wrong time”? Maybe you two can’t be together because one of you has to go away or because you’re both too young to start a serious relationship. Whatever the cause, missing someone by meeting at the wrong time can be hard to forget, especially when no one is at fault. [2] X Research Source
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Yes, maybe it’s the person you turned down because you weren’t ready. When we are young, we often think that we are not ready for a serious relationship yet. Even though that’s true, it’s really painful to remember that part of the past, especially when we’ve lost a good person. Maybe you will really regret breaking up with the right person just because you don’t want to be tied down and don’t want to settle down yet. [3] X Research Sources
How do you know you are the one that others have missed?
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Your ex asks about you or asks about you often. Maybe your ex often asks about you through mutual friends. Maybe he or she texts you from time to time to see how your life is going. That means they still think about you and even regret the breakup. [4] X Research Sources
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Your ex can’t maintain a long-term relationship after you break up. It is often difficult for us to forget the person we miss. If you know that your ex only had brief affairs after the two of you broke up, it’s most likely because they still remember you. They still haven’t gotten over you and aren’t ready to date someone else. [5] X Research Sources
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Your ex is excited to see you again by chance. Most of us don’t expect to run into our exes by accident, especially after a breakup. However, if the person has missed you, they will be happy to see you and can spend the whole night talking to you. It’s because they miss you and are more likely to want the chance to get back. [6] X Research Sources
- Sometimes, it can also be because you and your ex are both fun and sociable people. If after the breakup you two still maintain a good relationship and don’t hate each other, then maybe the person is just being polite to you.
What should you say to the person you miss?
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You can apologize or make up for them. Sometimes, someone leaves you because you weren’t good enough for them. If so, you can get in touch to apologize for the past. The two of you may not be able to get back together, but doing so will help things end for the better.
- For example, you could say, “I mean I’m sorry. We were both young then, I should have treated you better.”
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You can talk about the love story of two people. If you still don’t understand why the two of you can’t continue to be together, you can share to understand each other better. While it’s not always comfortable to bring up unpleasant memories, it can be helpful for your relationships in the future. You could say that: [8] X Research Sources
- “I know we didn’t get together, it’s okay. I just wanted to ask, can you tell me why we couldn’t continue back then?”
How do I get to the person I’ve missed?
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You can contact and ask to come back. While it’s not always possible, it’s worth the effort if you really want to get back with them. You can text or contact them via social media if you can find them there. However, you need to make sure they are still single and not in a relationship so as not to get them in trouble.
- You can say, “Hi My, long time no see. How are you these days? Is life still good?”
- Remember that the person may not be very excited when you contact them, especially if you have hurt them in the past. If they don’t respond or end the chat soon, it’s best not to bother them anymore.
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Solve past problems. Maybe you both have different feelings about what happened. If you’re going to get back together, it’s a good idea to talk about these things to make sure you don’t repeat them again. Before you restart your relationship with your significant other, sit down and have an honest conversation about what happened and why it turned out the way it did. [9] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “When I met you, I was too young. I didn’t realize that you were such a wonderful person. I hurt you because I felt like I was tied down. I’ve matured a lot, give me one more chance.”
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However, you may also never get the chance to be with them again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to get back to them. When you don’t talk for a long time, gradually there will be distance between two people and each person’s life will be very different in just a few years. If you contact the person and they don’t want to get back with you then try to accept it, move on and look to the future. [10] X Research Source
How to stop being attached to that person?
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Stop thinking “what if” . You will fantasize about your future if the two of you are still together. However, let’s face reality, even if it’s not easy. The truth is, you never know if you and your partner will ever really get together and you never know how your love life will turn out. Let go, let the past drift into the past and focus on the future. [11] X Research Source
- We often romanticize the people we miss. Instead of just thinking about the good things about the person you missed, think about the reasons why you two broke up. You will find that, in the long run, it is unlikely that the two of you will be able to move forward together.
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Focus on yourself. To completely forget the past, you need to love yourself more. If you find yourself messing things up and losing someone important, try to forgive yourself. Tell yourself to let the past go and not compare the past selves with the present. Although you still feel nostalgic for losing that person, all you can do now is look to the future. [12] X Research Source
- You can talk to a psychologist to deal with your feelings and practice emotional regulation skills that will be useful later in life.
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This article was co-written by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS. Dr. Asa Don Brown is a clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience. He specializes in supporting families, children and couples, treating issues of all types of psychological disorders, trauma and abuse. Besides, he also has expertise in negotiation and information gathering. Dr. Brown is a speaker and author of three books, and writes for many journals, scientific journals and popular publications. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Theology and Religion with a minor in Marketing, and a bachelor’s degree in Marriage and Family Counseling from Great Falls University. Dr. Brown also holds a PhD in Psychology with a specialization in Clinical Psychology from Capella University. He is a fellow of the American Academy of Experts on Traumatic Stress and a diplomat for the National Crisis Management Center. Dr. Brown continues to serve on many psychology and scientific boards.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
You’ve probably heard stories about “the one we missed” at some point in your life. Maybe it’s the person you lost, maybe it’s the person who lost you. Let’s learn about this romantic phenomenon and see what you should do in your situation.
Thank you for reading this post Why do you still miss the person you missed? at Lassho.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
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