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This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 56,640 times.
Your relationship with your ex-boyfriend is over, and you want to make sure he knows exactly what he’s been missing. Whether you want the two of you back together or not, you want to remind him that you’re a great person and that he missed his chance. You should consider who he is, who you are, and let him know clearly that he’s missing out on a lot. The best way for him to know this is to focus on yourself, not him. Therefore, you should keep your distance from him, make positive changes in your life, and seize the opportunity for new experiences.
Steps
Set boundaries
- Your discretion over first communication will let him know that he no longer has unlimited access to you.
- You should wait at least a month after the breakup to start talking to him again.
- For example, if you’re used to texting during the day to remind him of a medical appointment he has to come, don’t do it. He needs to rely on his schedule, not you.
- Or, don’t call to let him know that your favorite movie is on TV. Instead, make some popcorn and enjoy your show.
- Your ex-boyfriend will notice a positive change in you and be well aware that you’re moving forward and growing without him. Hopefully he’ll be happy for you and regret he wasn’t a part of it.
- What matters is being in control of yourself and your emotional health.
- You could say to him, “Now that we’ve broken up, we need to define the nature of our relationship and how we’ll interact with each other, if at all. We can’t be vague and I need clarity.”
Boost your confidence
- Quite a few gyms offer monthly memberships, meaning you can enjoy all the perks of the gym without being tied down by a lengthy contract.
- Friend meeting
- Go to dinner
- Go to the cinema
- Go to the festival – set aside a day for this activity
- Join a group of friends
- Join a hobby club
- Don’t go overboard with pictures of you hanging out, it can make you look like you’ve lost control over the breakup.
- Start with the little things. Think about a negative thought you often have and how you can turn it into a positive one. Then, the next time you have a negative thought, you should get rid of it and replace it with a positive one.
- For example, maybe you often have the mindset that you are not as talented as everyone else and that you will never be able to succeed. Let’s fight them. You are merely expressing anxiety and fear, not the truth. Instead of allowing fear and anxiety to develop, you should regulate your fearful thinking. For example, you could say, “Everybody has talent. I just need to discover my talent.” And “There are quite a few ways to be successful. I have been successful in many aspects of my life. I will find a way to become successful every day, and will continue to find ways to improve.”
- You might consider your strengths at work, your personal talents, or even your artistic abilities. Combine multiple strengths to develop something truly unique about yourself.
- For example, say you have been a baker for many years. You absolutely love making your own candies and sharing them with your loved ones. You should consider creating a blog to highlight your baking skills and recipes.
- Or perhaps you are very good at organizing and dealing with complex tasks. You are the person people in the company often turn to to fix problems, especially when they seem too big to deal with. You can use this skill and build your own career as a personal assistant or even a life coach.
- Maybe you love animals and want to spend more time with them. Maybe you have a sympathetic association with them. You should use this special talent and volunteer at a sanctuary to rehabilitate animals or a zoo.
- Start simple and set up the list. Make a list of activities you want to do for fun, adventures you want to take, your dream vacation, and your hobbies. Set up as many lists as needed. The act of pondering yourself and writing about your thoughts will help you get to know yourself better.
- Or you can meditate, formally or informally, by closing your eyes, breathing calmly, and allowing yourself to sit in silence. Acknowledge and remove your thoughts so that you are alone with yourself and without any distractions.
Enjoy yourself
- The digital age has really opened up new options when it comes to meeting other people. You can join the forum. These groups can be about shared interests (books, movies, or even music), or geography (city, state, neighborhood), or even shared experiences (working together). parents, divorce, veteran).
- In addition, bookstores and coffee shops in your area will regularly host groups with similar interests or goals.
- If you’re still in school, your high school or university will have social, sports and academic clubs that you can join.
- Try to travel or vacation alone. You should take the time to explore new places or experience new things on your own.
- Pamper yourself with the gift of personal care. Maybe it’s time to buy the massage package or the pot and pan you’ve always wanted.
- Go out with yourself – you can go to the bookstore, or go out to dinner, or even go to the movies.
- Stop and buy yourself a cup of coffee on your way to work.
- Spend money on new clothes, games, or sports equipment.
- Compliment yourself – every day, find one thing to praise yourself for.
- You need to be patient with yourself.
- Your routine can be based on learning, like learning two new language words every morning or spending 20 minutes reading the news.
- Or they can be physically based, like push-ups or sit-ups for two minutes every morning.
- Or they can be spiritually based, like reading the bible for half an hour every night.
Advice
- Be friendly with him. Don’t intentionally ignore him, but at the same time remember to keep your distance.
- Losing someone as unique and special as you is his loss. So don’t pity yourself. The world is full of other boys.
- Just smile, and always show that you are happy. This could be one of the reasons why he wants you back.
- Show him you’re better off without him.
- If he really wants you, he’ll do his best to win you back. He needs to work hard to win your love back so he can appreciate the value of having you in his life.
- If all else fails, enjoy being single.
This article was co-written by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a licensed professional counselor in Wisconsin. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 7 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 56,640 times.
Your relationship with your ex-boyfriend is over, and you want to make sure he knows exactly what he’s been missing. Whether you want the two of you back together or not, you want to remind him that you’re a great person and that he missed his chance. You should consider who he is, who you are, and let him know clearly that he’s missing out on a lot. The best way for him to know this is to focus on yourself, not him. Therefore, you should keep your distance from him, make positive changes in your life, and seize the opportunity for new experiences.
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