How to Write Condolence Cards

Begin with an appropriate greeting. The most common way to start a condolence card is to start with the word “Dear.” You can also use the word “Dear,” or simply begin with the name of the bereaved. Avoid opening with “Hello” or other informal greetings – it makes the card less formal.

• For the person you are writing to, use the same name as you would normally call that person. If you’re writing to a teacher you usually call “Miss Hien,” write her name on the card. If you are writing to someone you know well, use that person’s name.
• If the card is intended to express condolences to the entire bereaved family and not just an individual, write down each person’s name. If you don’t know the names of everyone in the family, just write “you Sang and family.”

Write down how you feel sorry for the person’s passing. Say that you feel sad and sorry to hear that the person has passed away, and if you know the person, mention his/her name. If you don’t know this person, you can subtly refer to them as “my mother” or “my grandfather’s grandfather,” and so on. For example:

• He was sorry to hear that Mai had passed away after a long battle with cancer.
• I was deeply saddened when I received the news of Hoa’s death.
• No words can describe my grief when I heard that Sau passed away.

If you don’t know this person well, consider keeping it brief. Wrapping up your card after succinctly expressing your condolences is the perfect way to send a card to someone you’re not close to. Accompanied by common phrases and not easily misunderstood. Write sentences like “always remember you with deep sympathy” or “please accept my condolences” if you want to keep the card short. It will be more special if the condolence card you are using has a printed note or poem inside. Here are a few examples of brief feelings:

• You are always present in my mind.
• Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
• We are always thinking about you.
• I will pray for you during this difficult time.
• We will remember [the deceased] during this time of grief.
• [The deceased] will always be in our minds.

If you know the person who died, consider sharing the memory. If the person who recently passed away was someone you knew, write down how much you miss him/her, and share a few memories that you miss. Expressing your grief will help the recipient feel less alone during the loss. Just mention briefly about something special about the person who passed away and how much that person means to you. ^[1]

Offer to help if you want. Write a few encouraging words for the bereaved to call or reach out to you when needed. Make sure you’re willing to follow through if the person actually comes to you for help. ^[2]

End the card with a suitable conclusion. If you know the bereaved family well, simply write “Dear,” and then sign your name. If you’re sending a card to someone you’re not close to, choose an ending that can express your feelings and relationship with that person. ^[3] Example:

• Sincere condolences from the bottom of my heart,
• Extremely sorry,
• Venerate,
• Best regards,
• Sincere condolences,
• Please allow me to share this sadness,