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This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained at the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of consulting experience and is trained in harm reduction modeling.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 24,454 times.
A broken relationship is extremely painful, especially when your thoughts are constantly on your ex. Whether that relationship just ended or you’re still struggling with pain after months, you probably feel those thoughts are preventing you from moving forward. Fortunately, there are a few ways that can help you accept that the relationship is over and stop thinking about your ex.
Steps
Let the Pain Go
- Pain is not something you can easily ignore. In fact, you’ll find that it’s easier to get over past hurts if you face your feelings without judgment. [2] X Research Source
- Trying to suppress the thought will only make it stronger. You may even start dreaming about your ex if you keep repressing your own thoughts and feelings. [3] X Research Sources
- Cry if you want. You’ll feel better if you let go of your feelings instead of keeping them inside.
- If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you love about the breakup, consider seeing a therapist or joining an online support group.
- Having an imaginary conversation with your ex about all of your pent-up pain can be helpful. It allows you to express your feelings without having to contact your ex and helps you feel more at ease. [5] X Research Sources
- When dealing with repetitive thoughts in your mind, the best way is to face them directly. Think about why you think that way, how those thoughts might be distorted and untrue, and what negative effects that thought had on you at the time. The more aware you are of your own thoughts, the easier it is to dismiss them. [7] X Research Sources
- Asking yourself about your own responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship can be very helpful because it helps you let go of your anger.
- A therapist can help by listening, encouraging you to come to terms with your feelings, and teaching you how to handle pain.
- You can wear an elastic band around your wrist and turn it on every time you miss your ex.
- You can write down any thoughts you have about your ex on a piece of paper and then throw it away.
- You can try the visualization exercise. This exercise asks you to imagine a specific image whenever thoughts of your ex pop into your mind. For example, you can think of a stop sign to remind yourself that you need to stop what you’re doing. If you do this often, the linking becomes automatic.
Get rid of Things That Remind You Of Your Ex
- If you don’t give yourself time to recover, you’ll probably continue to see your ex as your other half because your love relationship hasn’t gone away yet.
- Take some time to think about why you would want to be friends with your ex. If it’s because you’re afraid of living a life without your partner, you’re probably just using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the pain of a breakup.
- Most people won’t be able to become friends after a breakup. Don’t feel bad if things don’t go your way, even after you’ve had time to grieve.
- If you don’t want to throw them away, consider donating them to charities.
- Throw away all the pictures of your ex.
- If the two of you live together and you can’t get rid of all the things you both have in common, revitalizing your home by changing the color of the walls or rearranging the furniture can be overwhelming. useful. This will help you feel like it’s your own place instead of the place you and your partner used to live together.
Focus on New Activity
- If your social life revolves around your ex, it’s extremely important to get out there and make new friends. Try joining a club or volunteering to meet new people.
- If you rely on your ex for emotional support, try relying on someone other than your partner, like a friend or loved one. You will be amazed to find out how much support you are getting! [14] X Research Source
- Keeping yourself busy will help you get through it faster. If you find yourself thinking too much about your ex when you’re home alone, find something to do, whether it’s having dinner with friends, visiting a museum, or going for a walk. [15] X Research Source
- Try to enjoy the present life. While you’ll probably want to be in a new relationship, being single will also bring you a lot of benefits, so enjoy it.
- Meditation will help you regain your confidence and relieve the stress that comes with a breakup.
- Some people continue to think about their ex even though they are already in a new relationship. If you are in this situation, you should not suppress your thoughts. Instead, replace it with a memory or a moment when you felt so deeply in love with your current partner. Love is an incredibly powerful emotion and it can help you resist the urge to reconnect with your ex. [19] X Research Source
Advice
- Recovery from a breakup takes a while, so be patient.
Warning
- While the feelings after a breakup can be incredibly strong, never threaten your ex, either verbally or physically, or threaten to hurt yourself to make them feel guilty. error.
- If feeling hurt and angry after a breakup is too much for you to handle and makes you think about suicide, talk to someone or seek help from a psychologist or professional. immediate consultation. The suicide hotline is open 24 hours a day. [20] X Trusted Source National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Go to Source
This article was co-written by Elvina Lui, MFT. Elvina Lui is a licensed family and marriage therapist specializing in relationship counseling. She received her Master’s degree in Counseling from Western Seminary in 2007 and trained at the Asian Family Institute in San Francisco and New Life Community Services in Santa Cruz. She has over 13 years of consulting experience and is trained in harm reduction modeling.
There are 13 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 24,454 times.
A broken relationship is extremely painful, especially when your thoughts are constantly on your ex. Whether that relationship just ended or you’re still struggling with pain after months, you probably feel those thoughts are preventing you from moving forward. Fortunately, there are a few ways that can help you accept that the relationship is over and stop thinking about your ex.
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