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This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 10,195 times.
Changing your life for the better includes who you are, aspects of your life, your own environment, your goals and aspirations, and what motivates you to strive for a healthy life. and happy. Life is a journey, and one way to change your life for the better is to accept that there are many things in life that are beyond your control. [1] X Research Sources Luhmann, Maike; Orth, Ulrich; Specht, Jule; Kandler, Christian; and Lucas, Richard E. Studying Changes in Life Circumstances and Personality: It’s About Time. European Journal of Personality. May/Jun 2014, Vp. 28, Issue 3, p256-266 The things you can control are your attitude, your vision, your resilience, your mental health, and how you react to situations that life challenges you. Changing your life is always a process and not just a simple adjustment. [2] X Research Sources Kenneth Bradford, G. and Sterling, Mply Merrill. The Journey Is the Goal: The Legacy of James FT Bugental. Journal of Humanistic Psychology. Jul 2009, Vp. 49, Issue 3, p316-328
Steps
Self-awareness
- On the contrary, if there is an external point of control, you will feel like everything is natural to you, you are a victim of circumstances, you do not feel capable to deal with difficult events. .
- As a simple example, imagine that you have just been in a car accident, no one is hurt, you and the other driver are both at fault. If you are a person with an inner control point, you will accept the situation, trust that you can handle the consequences, and even though it is a difficult situation, you will still think you can handle it. If your control point is outside, you will think like, “Why does this always happen to me? Nothing is as good as you want it to be. I always do things wrong. The whole world is against me, no matter what I do.”
- When you understand your beliefs and your ability to handle adversity, you’ll be able to see where you need to start changing your attitude toward life in a more positive and productive way.
- For example, people are often stressed because of their performance at school or at work. Try writing: “If I fail this test, I am a failure and an idiot. That test was probably unfair and I didn’t have enough time to study. I can’t do it.” Those sentences ease your burden of responsibility when the actual results of the test are available. [6] X Research Resources That will help you reach out and begin to change how you feel.
- For example, you could write about a test like, “I should have studied more, but I didn’t because I was too busy going to the movies, but that’s okay. I didn’t do as well as I wanted, but next time will be better. I know that because I know how to study and manage my time well. I’m only human, and sometimes I make mistakes. There will be more tests to come, and this is not the end of the world. I’ll talk to the professor to see what I can do to improve my grades.” [7] X Research Sources Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psyhco-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vp. 9, Issue 1, p51-58. 8p
- Take responsibility for how you treat and communicate with yourself. When you feel that you deserve to change for a better life, that feeling will bring about a positive change in your life.
- For example, you drop a plate. Instead of thinking, “I’m clumsy!”, start changing that toxic thinking pattern and journaling more positive re-framed thoughts. You’re not clumsy, you’re just someone who drops a plate from time to time. With that simple sentence, you are transforming responsibility from being a clumsy person who always drops a plate into a human being who is not always perfect and sometimes makes mistakes. You are not as incompetent as you think. [8] X Research Sources Jemmer, Patrick. Self-Talk: The Spells of Psyhco-chaotic Sorcery. European Journal of Clinical Hypnosis. 2009, Vp. 9, Issue 1, p51-58. 8p
- For example, write down how you went to school to take a test even if you didn’t pass. Sometimes just being present takes courage. Courage is not an easy quality to have, and just because you’re brave doesn’t mean you’re not afraid of anything. It just means that you have the ability to face your fears and deal with life.
- Try being creative. Create collages that show how brave you are, write a poem about courage or make a poster about all your bravery. [9] X Wong Research Source , Paul TP Meaning Therapy: Assessments And Interventions. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jan2015, Vp. 26 Issue 1, p154-167
- You can’t change your life, you can’t predict it, and the most well-thought out plans can easily fail. However, you can change yourself and the way you look at life’s problems. [10] X Wong Research Source , Paul TP Meaning Therapy: Assessments And Interventions. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jan2015, Vp. 26 Issue 1, p154-167
Get to Know Yourself
- This quiz is available for free online. [11] X Research Source
- Do not limit yourself! Write freely about anything you love about yourself, big or small. Do you like your hair? Or your fingers? Do you like your voice or the way you talk? Do you like your style? You are a composite human being from many components that you feel about yourself.
- Surprise yourself by how complex you are, and dive deep into the many aspects of yourself that you truly admire. Making positive changes in your life means finding your true self and appreciating that person. [12] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Don’t be too hard on yourself when it comes to journaling. Avoid using extreme or extreme statements like “I am stupid” or “I never do anything right”. Focus on the realization that being human is not perfect and making mistakes is possible. You should try to think about things like being less shy, being more restrained, more organized, or becoming a better listener.
- Everyone has flaws, and part of striving for better change in life is seeing yourself and your personality as a work in progress. [13] X Source of Research Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239
- At the end of the day, you journal about your experience, about how well you did. When did you succeed? When do you not hear as good as you can? Record how you feel about starting to change aspects of your personality.
- Start slow, because you don’t want to drown yourself out by trying to change it all at once or demanding perfection. Be optimistic that it will come. The more you feel proactive about creating a strong and satisfying self, the more motivated you’ll be to keep changing your life for the better. [14] X Research Resources Padesky, Christine A. and Mooney, Kathleen A. Strengths-Based Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy: A Four-Step Model to Build Resilience. Clinical Psychpogy & Psychotherapy. Jul/Aug 2012, Vp. 19, Issue 4, p283-290
- If you feel counseling could help, find a counselor you feel comfortable talking to. If you feel overwhelmed by learning more about yourself, your choices, and your feelings, you may need to find a therapist. Changing lives at a high level is a challenging journey, and knowing when you need guidance and help is also an expression of strength. [15] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
Set Short Term Goals
- Only you know how you want your life to be, and only you have the power to make decisions that make a difference for a better life.
- If you smoke, try to quit. Smoking is harmful to your health and to those around you. Use forms to help you quit, such as nicotine patches, gum, lozenges, e-cigarettes, or support groups. [16] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- These can be small and gradual choices if you’re not ready to change them all at once. Do what you feel is right for you. [17] X Research Sources Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239
- Your surroundings really have an impact on your happiness and are a creative way to manifest the change you feel in your life.
- Try living a more eco-friendly life or reducing your carbon footprint. Reduce electricity consumption by turning off lights, saving water in the shower, or trying to avoid waste in your living space. Start leaving a recycling bin in your home or take a carpool to work. They are also easy ways to help you improve your living conditions. [18] X Source of Research Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239
- Volunteering for a cause you believe in is a great way to boost your self-esteem and strengthen your sense of competence, because you’re actively participating in helping others. [19] X Research Sources Adler, Alfred. The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychpogy, 1925
- Nurturing your sense of self will help you develop the motivation to keep striving for a change in life for the better. [20] X Research Sources Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239
Set Long Term Goals
- If you want to do something different, do your research on what you really want to do and take steps in the direction you want to go.
- This takes time, so go slow, make solid decisions, and weigh your finances wisely. Don’t forget that using short-term goals when striving for change can help ease the time for long-term changes. [21] X Research Source
- Believe in yourself and your aspirations. Make informed decisions, get to know your future well, and know how much more you need to learn in order to achieve those goals. [22] X Research Source
- Don’t make hasty decisions about the people in your life. Consider each decision and how you feel about each relationship. If you’re trying to change your life, you need support and encouragement to help you become the person you want to be. Focus on nurturing such relationships. [23] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
- Gather as much information as the cost of living, job opportunities, the consequences on your or your family’s life, and the pressures of moving to a new place before making a final decision. . [24] X Source of Research Van Deurzen, Emmy. Life is for Living. Existential Analysis: Journal of the Society for Existential Analysis. Jul 2009, Vp. 20, Issue 2, p226-239
Take care of yourself
- Be proud, even just because you’ve made a life-changing effort. Life isn’t easy, and actively expressing yourself and finding your potential always requires strength.
- If you want, you can talk to your friends about the changes you’re feeling and get their advice or support. [25] X Research Sources
- If you’re stressed, treat yourself to a massage or ask someone you love to give you a massage.
This article was co-written by Nicpette Tura, MA. Nicpette Tura is a mental & physical health expert, founder of The Illuminated Body, a physical, mental and emotional wellness counseling service in the San Francisco Bay Area. Nicpette is a 500-hour yoga teacher with expertise in Psychology & Mindfulness, a National Institute of Sports Medicine certified Restorative Exercise Specialist, and a balanced lifestyle expert. She holds a bachelor’s degree in sociology from the University of California, Berkeley, and a master’s degree in sociology from SJSU .
There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 10,195 times.
Changing your life for the better includes who you are, aspects of your life, your own environment, your goals and aspirations, and what motivates you to strive for a healthy life. and happy. Life is a journey, and one way to change your life for the better is to accept that there are many things in life that are beyond your control. [1] X Research Sources Luhmann, Maike; Orth, Ulrich; Specht, Jule; Kandler, Christian; and Lucas, Richard E. Studying Changes in Life Circumstances and Personality: It’s About Time. European Journal of Personality. May/Jun 2014, Vp. 28, Issue 3, p256-266 The things you can control are your attitude, your vision, your resilience, your mental health, and how you react to situations that life challenges you. Changing your life is always a process and not just a simple adjustment. [2] X Research Sources Kenneth Bradford, G. and Sterling, Mply Merrill. The Journey Is the Goal: The Legacy of James FT Bugental. Journal of Humanistic Psychology. Jul 2009, Vp. 49, Issue 3, p316-328
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