How to Be a Gentleman

Help the people around you. Always keep an eye on how you can help people. Take a few seconds to hold the door open for the next person. Offer to help someone else put food bags in the car. You don’t have to risk putting yourself at risk of injury (e.g. when you’re holding a heavy object and trying to open a door for someone else) but respect is paramount. The truly gallant man not only pays attention to the women he likes but ignores others; Being a gentleman is a way for you to reach out to the world and the people in it, not just to go after the person you want to date. ^[2]

• Watch out for people who need help but may be afraid to ask. The guy carrying the coffee tray will appreciate it if you open the door for him, but he probably won’t ask for you.

Talk polite. Prepare polite dialogues, such as “How are you feeling today”, “Do you need my help?”, “Let me get it for you”, or “Do you need my help?” Let me do it for you.” Learn to speak slowly, carefully, and take the time to really talk to people in a polite manner, even if you’re in a hurry. Whether it’s talking to your neighbor or the pretty girl you met in class, try to smile, be friendly, and tell some of your fun little stories of the day. A gentleman doesn’t just go straight to the point, but takes the time to get to know people.

• The ability to converse is a sign of elegance and maturity, which are two important aspects of a gentleman.

Definitely no swearing, no profanity, no rudeness. If stopping swearing is too hard, then try to keep it to a minimum. Cursing is not polite behavior. If you blurt out profanity, you should apologize and try not to repeat it later. If you’re in a swearing situation like watching sports or driving on the road, you need to pay extra attention to how to present the perfect gentleman image.

• In addition to not swearing, you should also avoid making vulgar or obscene comments. And keep in mind that the funny things that guys say to each other in private are not always appropriate for the girl you’re flirting with.

Don’t talk too much about yourself. At first you can tell just enough for people to know a little bit about you, but don’t reveal all about yourself. In addition to making you an attractive talker, talking less about yourself also gives you a mysterious air that is very attractive to women. Talk about music trends, sporting or political events so that people see you as intelligent. Try to update the information so that the topics you talk about make sense.

• Instead of talking about yourself, you focus on asking people about their pastimes, hobbies, or plans. Let them know that you care about them more than yourself.

Avoid bringing up controversial or unpleasant topics. Don’t talk about politics before you know more about the other person, and learn to moderate if someone brings it up. A simple shrug will work. A gentleman who doesn’t upset people. Focus on agreeing and making people comfortable rather than proving yourself right and that other people’s opinions are worthless. You don’t have to prove yourself to impress women. In fact, what’s far more impressive is his ability to get along with people.

• Make sure to know who your audience is. Funny things for the common people may not be acceptable in the upper class. You should be mindful of the needs and concerns of others.

Treat everyone with respect. A gentleman is not only polite and courteous to women, but also shows respect to other men, to the elderly, and even to children. A real man can’t be gallant at times and sometimes not. He was kind and respectful to all who deserved it. Respect the other person’s personal space by not standing too close to them when talking. Respect the privacy of others by not peeking over their shoulder or asking too much about personal matters. The key here is to make people feel good and good about themselves, not to make them feel like they’ve been treated badly.

• Say hello to people when you pass them, ask around, and know when to leave them alone.
• Avoid raising your voice and making noise in public, even in your own home, that annoys your neighbors. It’s not a good thing to act like the whole planet is yours.
• Remember to keep your mouth shut while chewing to show respect to your fellow eaters.

Avoid fights. Sometimes scuffles are acceptable in situations where you have to defend yourself or others, but those situations are rare.

• Remember: A gentleman is one who does not resort to violence to solve problems.
• It is wiser to withdraw from troublesome situations, or call the police if necessary.
• Self-defense methods (such as martial arts) can be used as a last resort.

Women deserve respect. The worst thing about dealing with a woman is looking at her from head to toe as if examining a piece of meat. A woman is a person with her own thoughts, hopes and goals; you should never be greedy and act as if they are just there to entertain you. When you meet a woman you don’t know, ask for her name and really get to know her instead of staring at her as if she wants to strip her naked.

• A gentleman understands that women are born to be appreciated. He does not talk to women in a flirtatious fashion, but with a subtle, gentle flirtation.

There are polite gestures. Open car doors, doors, or pull up a chair for them. Every woman is different, and you should pay attention to what kind of politeness will put them at ease. For example, giving a woman a coat is a gallant gesture if she’s cold, but if she says she’s okay, don’t insist.

When walking down the street with a woman, you must go outside, near the traffic. This is a traditional polite gesture, showing that you are “protecting” women while on the road. It’s up to you to do it or not, but you should know about it. Wait and see how she reacts when you do, and you’ll see if she considers the gesture cute or old-fashioned.

Avoid discussing issues she may not be interested in. If she finds that she is not interested in the topic you bring up, move on to something else.

Don’t look down on women. You can make fun of them, but don’t be rude. Joking doesn’t mean calling them with vulgar words. No matter how humorous the tone, a person called “gentleman” who uses vulgar words towards a woman means that they are hurting her. Also, never act like you know more than a woman just because you’re a man and you can actually “teach” her something.

• One sign of a “fake gentleman” is to be polite at first to a woman, but then to find out that she doesn’t have feelings for you, immediately show contempt. Really, you should accept that not all women in this world have a crush on you, and just be nice to them, no matter what they like or dislike.

Be polite to women when parting in the evening. Offer to take her to the door (or car) if possible. If the girl has to park her car far from home or the dorm, offer to drive her to or from. And at the same time, you have to remember not to cross the line by making a girl feel that she can’t go anywhere alone.

• This goes without saying, if a girl comes over, you shouldn’t just sit on the sofa and say “hello, see you later” when she leaves. At the very least, you should try to see her to the door or to the car under any circumstances.

Beware of old traditions. Here sometimes it takes subtlety to know what to keep and what to ignore. There were styles that were appropriate in old high-class places that might seem odd to apply in today’s context. In general, you should be aware of how a modern, independent woman feels, and if she seems uncomfortable with your gestures, pause for a moment. Here are a few styles that were once considered polite, but are now starting to seem outdated: ^[3]

• Pick up the bill at the restaurant
• Help women put on coats
• Stand up when a woman walks into the room
• Give up seats to women

Caring about others more than yourself. When you’re with your girlfriend, remember to do gallant things. If she’s carrying something and puts it down, pick it up, and always let her know that you want to help by saying “let me get it for you,” whatever it is. Remember that selfishness is not an attractive trait. If you’re watching TV with your girlfriend, turn on a channel with a gameshow or her favorite sporting event. She will appreciate your cute little actions more than you think.

• With that said, you probably don’t want to make a girl feel weak, or that you have to do everything for her. Note that, if she seems annoyed when you help her with the packing or something, then you can stop and help only when she really needs it, not symbolically.

Give her a surprise gift. It would be lovely if you showed up with a card with a bouquet of flowers not just on holiday. Expensive or flashy gifts are not as important as your heart. In fact, just a rose, a note on the pillow, a book she is looking to read, a passionate kiss can make any girl happy for many days. Those little gifts reveal that she’s always on your mind even when you’re not together, and that you’re always willing to give her something.

• Although candy and flowers are cute, personal gifts are even cuter. A pair of tickets to the play she’s been waiting for, a souvenir with her name on it from where you’ve been without her, or a postcard that reminds you of her all proves that you always really thinking about her and not any other girl.

Give her cuddles. If you really like your girlfriend, show her with tender touches. If you’re in public, hold her hand, put your arm around her shoulder, or kiss her lightly on the cheek if you want. When you’re in private, you can have a little more intimate gestures, like kissing her neck, stroking her back or thighs, as long as these gestures are acceptable. As a real gentleman, you need to take it slow, and wait until she’s ready before you try something beyond kissing.

• A true gentleman takes pride when he walks with his girlfriend and gives her affectionate gestures, even in the presence of friends. Don’t let go of her hand if friends approach; However, private love gestures with girlfriends in public are also not polite.

Come out and protect your girl. You don’t have to go around and punch anyone in the face who glances at her, but if someone looks at her rudely or sexually, step in. Put your arm around her shoulders and take her away, or step out and speak up for her. Touch will reassure her and let the other person know that he will have to deal with both of them. Letting his girlfriend be rudely and teased by others is not worthy of men.

• You shouldn’t threaten the other person with “give him a hit,” or swear. Instead, behave dignifiedly and magnanimously tell him to leave.

Never say anything negative about her to your friends. If you want to be a real gentleman, never tell your friends anything bad about the girl you date. Maybe you think it’s cool to complain about your girlfriend or act like you’re not into her. But this is disrespectful behavior and nothing, and when she finds out then you will be like a despicable person. The only thing you should say about your girlfriend is compliments, or when you really want to hear your friend’s advice in a certain situation.

• The key to being a gentleman is to earn respect from everyone. There is nothing more foolish than going to expose the viewer’s back to you and your girlfriend to be laughed at.

Don’t reveal too much about her to your friends either. Another thing you should avoid is telling your friends about rainy days with your girlfriend. It is not polite to tell others about sex with your girlfriend, describe her in bed, or how she kisses. Things like that should be kept private between the two of you, and telling your friends what happened – or didn’t happen – is the worst thing you can do to a girl!

• Whether you’re dating or just hanging out with her a few times, it’s a good idea to keep your bedroom a secret. If you tell her and she finds out, she’ll definitely get mad, and you’ll have a reputation of being the “kiss and then tell” person.