How to Overcome Clumsiness

If you consider yourself clumsy, you may be struggling in many social situations and feel like you never know what to say. To overcome clumsiness, you should first confront the shyness or social anxiety that is holding you back. Then you can start practicing your social skills and learn how to be a good conversationalist. It will take some practice, but you can do it!

Table of Contents

Overcoming shyness and anxiety

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Understand the difference between shyness, social anxiety, and clumsiness. People often alternately use these three terms, but they are actually very different. Shyness and anxiety can make you feel clumsy, but you can also become clumsy when socializing without being shy or suffering from social anxiety. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Shyness is simply being uncomfortable around other people. Shy people may feel uncomfortable in certain social situations, but this usually doesn’t interfere too much with daily life. If you’re shy, you can overcome it by challenging yourself to engage in situations that make you uncomfortable.
Social anxiety can resemble extreme shyness. People with social anxiety often have an unreasonable fear of being themselves in situations where they need to fit in, which interferes with their ability to function in society. If you have social anxiety, a mental health professional can help you through it.
Clumsiness, or awkwardness in front of others, is the feeling that everyone is watching you, which sometimes leads to embarrassment. ^{[2] X Source of Research} It can happen to anyone, but the feeling is usually present during adolescence. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

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Practice self-acceptance to build confidence. When you’re confident, latent feelings of self-consciousness tend to compound with experience. Instead of worrying about what other people are thinking, you can focus on enjoying the experience. Building confidence doesn’t happen overnight, but you can gradually achieve it by learning how to accept yourself. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

When you have negative thoughts about yourself, try looking in a different direction. For example, you are feeling shy in a certain situation. Instead of berating yourself, look at things from a different perspective: you feel calm today and there’s nothing wrong with that. ^{[5] X Research Resources} There’s always a place for introverts in the world, as well as extroverts.
Realize that you’re great just because you are. You are a priceless person, even if you have imperfections – after all, everyone on earth is imperfect. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

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Join a social hobby. To make yourself more comfortable in social situations, consider taking up a hobby that involves moderate social interaction. It can be anything that interests you and that will give you the opportunity to interact with new people (even a few). This will help if you are trying to overcome shyness or social anxiety. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Consider taking a small class to learn a new skill, like painting or boxing. You can also join a sports team or social group to do some activities together.

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Abandoning coping behaviors is used to reduce anxiety and fear when you feel fearful (safety behaviors). Many shy or socially anxious people have certain behaviors that they use to protect themselves from clumsiness in social interactions. This could be looking at your phone or avoiding eye contact with people at a party, or drinking or taking medication to feel less clumsy. If you really want to overcome clumsiness, you need to identify the types of coping behaviors and let go of them. The more you experience social interactions without coping behavior, the easier they will become for you. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

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Realize that worrying thoughts are not true. If you find yourself obsessing over all the bad or embarrassing things that could happen in your next social interaction, you need to start actively challenging that thinking. The next time that thought comes up, ask yourself if it really happened. Then think about why bad things usually won’t happen and keep reminding yourself of those reasons. ^{[9] X Research Source}

For example, if you’re worried you’ll say something stupid when you try to talk to a girl you like, tell yourself it’s not true because you’re smart, you have a lot of interesting things to say, and you planned what to say to her.

Improve social skills

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Practice communication skills. People who are socially awkward often feel they don’t know the proper way to respond to others during a conversation. If this is the case for you, the best thing you can do is practice as much as possible. The more experience you have talking to a variety of people on different topics in different contexts, the better you will grasp how to converse. ^{[10] X Research Source}

To really get over your fear, you need to talk to strangers instead of clinging to your friends at the party. ^{[11] X Research Source}
You will feel more confident if you know in advance who will be at an event. This is especially useful for building close business relationships. Find out as much about people as possible before you meet them so you know what you’re going to say. ^{[12] X Research Source}

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Try reading novels. Novel readers often have better social skills than people reading science-facts. This may be because they experienced a variety of social situations through the fictional character’s vision. If you feel you need more social contact without being clumsy, read novels. ^{[13] X Research Source}

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Join the class. If you want to build confidence and improve your social skills, consider taking acting or improv classes. These classes can help you step outside of your comfort zone, teach you how to quickly deal with unexpected situations, and help you learn how to laugh at yourself. All of this will really help reduce social awkwardness. ^{[14] X Research Source}

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Don’t get upset with clumsiness. While you may think clumsiness is holding you back, it can actually have a number of benefits. People tend to think clumsy people are honest and harmless. Clumsy people can also be funny in their own right. For all this reason, many people find clumsiness endearing and even attractive. ^{[15] X Research Source}

The less you worry about clumsiness, the less negative influence will have on your relationship, so just relax!

Have a conversation that isn’t awkward

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Smile. Smiling has been proven to make people more approachable and attractive. Smile while talking, walking, and in public. You’ll find more people want to chat with you! ^{[16] X Research Source}

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Maintain eye contact. People who feel clumsy often try to avoid eye contact while creating a clumsy look. It can give others the impression that you are rude and indifferent. Maintain eye contact while talking to show you’re really interested in what people are saying. ^{[17] X Research Source}

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Have a plan. If you realize that you never know what to say, it helps to plan a little ahead. Find a list of topics that you can use in a conversation when there’s nothing else to talk about.

If you’re passionate about something, like cars or travel, this is a great thing to share. It’s always easier to have a fun conversation about a topic that really interests you. ^{[18] X Research Sources}
Some current affairs are always an interesting starting point for the story, so let’s find out what’s happening in the world. ^{[19] X Research Source}
Keep things light, especially when talking to strangers. Most people don’t like to talk about heavy topics. ^{[20] X Research Source}

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Ask open-ended questions. A great way to keep the conversation going is to ask the right kind of questions. Try to think of questions that don’t prompt a longer answer, which will prompt you to ask another question. Instead of asking, “Do you like school?” Ask: “What’s your favorite class?” You can then ask, “Why did you like that class?” or “What did you learn in that class?” and many more sentences. ^{[21] X Research Source}

Asking lots of questions also prevents you from talking too much about yourself, which others won’t like. ^{[22] X Research Source}

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Remove awkward silence. Long pauses in conversation can make people uncomfortable, especially if you’re shy or have social anxiety. Try to remember that pauses often take longer than necessary, so don’t let them completely ruin the conversation. ^{[23] X Research Sources}

Don’t think too much and keep the conversation going. Even if you completely change the subject, at least the conversation will continue.
If you can’t think of anything else to say, start talking about something general, like the weather or the food at the party that you think is appropriate. Start as simple as, “What do you think the weather we’re experiencing right now?”. ^{[24] X Research Source}
Remember that silence doesn’t have to be awkward. Try not to let the silence make you an outsider and ask a question, even after a few seconds have passed. For example, if someone told you about their vacation in Prague, consider returning to the story a little later by saying, “So you went to Prague. Did you travel anywhere else? in Europe?”

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Be tolerant with yourself. Try not to get mad at yourself if the conversation doesn’t go smoothly. Just let it go and start talking to someone else.

Advice

Understand that you are not alone. Everyone is clumsy sometimes. Laugh at the clumsiness and don’t take it too seriously all the time.

Steps

Overcoming shyness and anxiety

Improve social skills

Have a conversation that isn’t awkward

Advice

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