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This article was co-written by Mental Health America. Mental Health America is the nation’s leading nonprofit organization dedicated to addressing the needs of people with mental illness and promoting the overall mental health of American citizens. Their work follows the Before Stage 4 philosophy – meaning that mental illnesses should be treated early before they reach their worst in the course of the illness.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 33,850 times.
Are you feeling heartbroken right now because of a recent loss of a friend, a breakup with a lover, a betrayal, or any other circumstance that has brought you down in life? Whatever has caused you pain and regardless of its impact, it’s important to realize that pain is a part of life. Fortunately, most feelings of distress will fade with time. In the meantime, you can make positive changes in your life to help you feel more comfortable and ready to move on after a heartbreaking event.
Steps
Make positive emotional changes
- Take a moment to practice breathing and thinking about your feelings without trying to criticize or analyze them. For example, you might think, “I’m sad and angry because of my argument with Mr. Thanh”.
- Identifying your emotions will help you separate them from who you are. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have feelings no matter what—negative emotions don’t make you a bad person, a failure, or a loser.
- Don’t try to ignore your feelings or deny how you are feeling. Ultimately, you’ll have a harder time dealing with those feelings.
- When you are suffering, you will feel sad, angry, confused, frustrated, or even guilty about what you are feeling (or not feeling). You may also find yourself preoccupied or obsessed with something bad. You will often experience mixed emotions, feeling better one day and then feeling worse the next.
- If you can’t cope with your pain or find it difficult to function daily, talk to your doctor or counselor about it.
Tip: Pain is unpredictable, and it affects everyone in different ways. For example, some people will cry a lot, while others just stay silent or get angry. Don’t pressure yourself to react to a pain or loss a certain way just because you think that’s what others expect of you. [3] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Take positive action. If you’re taking steps to fix the problem, your emotions won’t be able to control you—your actual thoughts will control the situation. For example, if you’re upset about not being hired, you should take the time to improve your resume.
- Avoid focusing on what upsets you. Don’t worry about it until you can determine your point. You can go to the gym, call a funny friend, go grocery shopping, or run an errand around the house. You will not feel negative about yourself when you are taking action to improve the situation.
- Do some simple exercise if you’re feeling stressed or depressed. For example, you can try some breathing exercises, do yoga, or meditate.
- For example, if you feel hurt by someone’s actions, you can close the situation by confronting the person who did the wrong thing and trying to forgive them. If you choose this method, try not to blame the person for what happened. Instead, just say how you feel and explain how you want to move on. Say something like, “I’m really hurt by what you did. I need space to decide if I want to continue this relationship. I’ll contact you when I want.”
- Another method is to simply return the ex-spouse’s belongings and say goodbye. You should give yourself time to wrap things up, but not too long to drag things out.
- One way to avoid clinging to the past is to learn from the past and create a plan to prevent it from happening again. Think of different ways you could improve your current situation or write down a list of lessons you have learned from going through hard times. When you take action after experiencing a negative event, you are empowering yourself to move on. [6] X Research Source
- Journal or confide in someone you trust to help you work through your feelings. [7] X Research Sources
Positive thinking
- Reconnect with activities you enjoy or notice anything positive happening in your life. Start a gratitude journal that focuses on the good things in life. Over time, you will realize that there are many things for you to be happy and grateful for. [8] X Research Sources
- If you have a close friend or family member, or even a pet, spend time connecting with them and appreciating the positive difference they make in your life.
- Take the time to appreciate even the little things. For example, maybe you enjoyed a good cup of tea today, or watched a movie that you really enjoyed.
- For example, you can combat a negative thought like, “I’ll probably never meet someone who’s really nice who won’t ask too much of me,” by thinking of anyone kind and trustworthy person you know. Once you’ve identified at least one person who fits this positive standard, you’ve fought back and made that negative thought take its toll.
Do you know? Once you get used to negative thinking, you will find it difficult to switch to positive thinking. You can change this habit by replacing negative thoughts with more neutral and realistic thoughts. [11] X Research Source
- If you don’t have any close friends, try joining a class or club for people who share your interests. They are effective ways to meet new people and connect with activities that bring you joy.
- Find friends you can chat with and even turn the pain into an authentic story to share with others. You can use what happened to you as a warning so others can avoid the same problem.
- For example, you could say to a friend something like, “Sang, can we talk? I want to tell you about what happened to me…” Then you can share. his story. Ask for help by saying something like, “I really need a hug right now”.
Learn to rebuild
- You’ll feel comfortable knowing that you can make changes from here on out to avoid trouble again. It’s a way to regain your strength and stop letting other people or situations manipulate you.
- Feeling sad or miserable is not something that you should hide from the people around you. Your wishes will be hard to come by if you don’t tell those around you that you need their help.
- You could start by saying something like, “I wanted to tell you everything I’ve been through. You probably don’t know, but you’re the person I turn to when I need help…”
- You can also join a support group for people with similar experiences and share your story with them.
- Being kind to yourself when you’re hurt is an important part of the healing process.
- Try to eat a healthy balanced diet, be physically active for at least 30 minutes a day, and get at least 7-9 hours of sleep each night.
- It also helps to engage in some self-care activities that help you de-stress, like reading or playing ball with your dog.
Tip: Besides taking care of your physical and mental health, practicing self-care also means continuing to deal with real problems. Try to set aside some time each day to handle the things you need to get done, like doing your homework, paying the bills, or buying groceries.
- This list can be used as a guide to the interactions you want to have with others. If you feel like your needs aren’t being met within established boundaries, then you can end problems before they turn into new pain or betrayal.
- You can set limits such as: don’t date people who make you compromise your values, don’t hang out with someone who abuses drugs or engages in delinquency, or doesn’t give too much attention to your needs. into a one-sided relationship.
- Try to clearly communicate your boundaries to others, and also let them know the consequences if they don’t respect them. For example, you could say something like, “I love you, but I won’t visit you on vacation if you keep complaining about my weight.”
This article was co-written by Mental Health America. Mental Health America is the nation’s leading nonprofit organization dedicated to addressing the needs of people with mental illness and promoting the overall mental health of American citizens. Their work follows the Before Stage 4 philosophy – meaning that mental illnesses should be treated early before they reach their worst in the course of the illness.
There are 15 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 33,850 times.
Are you feeling heartbroken right now because of a recent loss of a friend, a breakup with a lover, a betrayal, or any other circumstance that has brought you down in life? Whatever has caused you pain and regardless of its impact, it’s important to realize that pain is a part of life. Fortunately, most feelings of distress will fade with time. In the meantime, you can make positive changes in your life to help you feel more comfortable and ready to move on after a heartbreaking event.
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