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This article was co-written by Kirsten Parker, MFA. Kirsten Parker is a mindset and action coach, based in Los Angeles, California. She helps successful people overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in helping clients boost their confidence and self-understanding by combining tools in the fields of psychology, habit change, and self-regulation. She is an expert in using the HeartMath technique, trained in stress management, anxiety, smart energy, along with emotional intelligence and the science of self-acceptance. She holds a master’s degree from the Yale School of Drama in theater management.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,177 times.
Life is always going on around you, but you’re probably having a hard time choosing the right way to live. How you live is your choice, and making choices that work for you is the best way to find meaning and happiness. To live a true life, you first need to understand yourself, including your core values, strengths, and passions. From there, you will decide to act in accordance with those values. Finally, engage with others and show them that you care.
Steps
Know yourself
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Identify your core values so you can live up to them. First, think about what is important to you in life and what behaviors you admire in others. Next, try to remember the best days of your life and what you did in those days. Here’s information to help you find your core values – the things you care about most. [1] X Research Source
- For example, you value helping others, being open-minded and sharing what you have.
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Find your life purpose by identifying what motivates you. Think about what in life makes you take action, such as things that get you excited. Next, try to picture yourself in 5, 10, 15, and 20 years from now and make a list of what you want to achieve. Also, try asking yourself what makes you willing to sacrifice and how you can use your best skills in giving life. Here’s how to find your life purpose. [2] X Research Source
- It’s okay if you have more than one life purpose.
- Your life purpose may change as you grow older and learn more about yourself.
- For example, your life purpose might be to inspire others through music or to help others by becoming a nurse.
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Determined to exploit individual strengths and aptitudes . What are you best at and what comes easily to you? List the skills and abilities that are your strengths. From there, you will choose the strengths and talents that are most important to you to continue honing and developing. [3] X Research Sources
- For example, you might be good at writing, playing soccer, and taking care of children. So, consider going to a writing refresher class to get better at it or joining a football club. Likewise, babysitting can be a way to help you earn extra income.
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Pursue your passions and hobbies to make yourself happy. First, you need to make a list of what grabs your attention, including activities and things. Next, find a way to bring these interesting things into your life. You should try to spend a lot of time on your passion or hobby, preferably every day. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, your interests might be music, jewelry, and tattoo art. That way, you can learn an instrument or start collecting records, learn jewelry making, and design tattoos.
- Don’t worry about what others say. This is your life, so follow your passion.
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Determine if you’re an early riser or a “night owl” to be more productive. Do you feel awake and energized in the morning or at night? Do the most important things when you are most alert. In addition, you should adjust the plan earlier or later if this is feasible. [5] X Research Sources
- For example, you will study or do the most important things early in the morning if you are an early riser. In contrast, “night owls” often like to do such things before going to bed.
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Determine if you are an extrovert , an introvert, or both an extrovert and an introvert to choose the right way to socialize. Extroverts are energized by being around other people, while introverts need to be left alone to recharge. People who are both extroverts and introverts fall somewhere in between, which means they can be comfortable with others or alone. Knowing which group you belong to will help you determine which social situations work best for you. The easiest way to know this is to take an online test. [6] X Research Sources
- Typically, extroverts focus on the outside, while introverts focus on the inside.
- For example, introverts like to stay at home on Saturday nights, while extroverts like to go out. Both of these options are great ways to help you feel good.
Choose the action that aligns with your values
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Live according to your spiritual beliefs (if any). Maybe you are worshiping a certain religion or some personal spiritual beliefs. You will feel happier and more connected to the world when you bring those beliefs to life. Make choices that align with your beliefs and spend time connecting with your Supreme Being. [7] X Research Sources
- Meditate or pray every day.
- Join a community of like-minded people if possible. Here’s how to help you form deeper beliefs.
- If you catch yourself making choices that don’t align with your beliefs, stop to reflect on why you’re doing it and try to change.
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Adjust your daily routine to match your values. Small choices in everyday life can make a big impact on your life. Make sure that what you do reinforces your values and life purpose. Here are some changes you can make: [8] X Research Sources
- Use recycled products if you value environmental protection.
- Choose organic if you think pesticides are bad.
- Choose natural products if you think the chemicals are harmful to humans.
- Go vegan to protect animals or the environment.
- Walk or cycle to reduce fossil fuel consumption.
- Donate money or food to someone in need.
- Give way when participating in traffic to spread goodwill.
- Give back by giving, such as buying someone a morning coffee every now and then.
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Set personal goals to help you get closer to your life purpose. It’s still easier to find a purpose in life than to live it. The best way to not get lost is to set goals that help you live the life you want. Think of the things that are most important to you and break them down into small chunks. The next step is to create a timeline for completing each of those sections to help you achieve your goals. [9] X Research Source
- For example, you might aim to become a nurse. The small steps you need to take will be doing well in science and math, volunteering at a nursing home or hospital, completing bachelor’s and master’s degrees in nursing, and working in a hospital.
- As another example, your goal might be to display your work in public. As such, you need to take art classes to improve your skills, create your own work, attend local art exhibitions and ask if the local coffee shop can hang the work. yours or not.
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Choose an education and career path that aligns with your life purpose. What do you want to do in life and what career path is related to your life purpose? From there, choose the study program and job that energizes you. Follow this path throughout your development. [10] X Research Source
- It is possible that others will impose their thoughts on your choices, especially family members. Try to ignore what they say and do what’s best for you. You only have one life to live, so do what you love.
Advice: There is no guarantee that a safe path in life will lead you to success. People often say that a certain job or degree will make you successful, but that is not necessarily true. Make choices based on what you want in life instead of following promises of “success”.
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Enjoy what you love in moderation for a balanced life. Eat what you like, follow your hobbies and have fun with your friends. However, you also need to balance these joys by taking care of yourself and working towards achieving your goals. Moderation will help you have a fulfilling life, so don’t overdo it at work or spend too much time on hobbies. [11] X Research Source
- For example, create a habit that gives you time to get things done, clean, maintain personal hygiene, pursue hobbies, and spend time with the people you care about.
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Allow yourself to continue to learn and grow as you become more knowledgeable. When you have more experiences in life, you will see things differently than when you were a child. Appreciate the wisdom and knowledge that you accumulate over the years. Besides, you also need to absorb new information and learn from the people you have the opportunity to meet. Be open to your own growth and change because this is a way to help you better understand life. [12] X Research Source
- Listen to the stories of the people you meet. Try to learn from their experience, especially if they have a completely different lifestyle than yours.
- Read books or watch documentaries to learn more about the world around you.
- If possible, you should travel to know more about the way people live in other places.
Connect and care for others
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Make friends by taking classes, volunteering or clubs. The best way to meet new people and make new relationships is to go out. If you’re comfortable with meeting new people, chat with someone you meet while shopping or hanging out. If not, you can sign up for your favorite class or join a club related to your interest. Volunteering is also a useful option. [13] X Research Source
- Find clubs in your area on Facebook groups or Meetup.com. If you’re still in school, look for clubs that work after school.
- The culture house will probably post information about local clubs.
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Communicate with close friends and relatives regularly. Every day, you should send a text message to the person you love. Also, call or visit them when possible. This is how to make relationships stronger and healthier. [14] X Research Source
- For example, send good morning messages to your lover, ask about your parents and send funny content to your friends.
- Make a coffee date with a friend or invite them over to watch Netflix.
- Have regular family dinners or Skype chats with loved ones when you’re away from home.
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Give your full attention to the person you are with. You should break the habit of checking your phone or sending text messages when you are with friends, relatives or lovers. Focus on spending time with someone and listening to what they have to say. This is a way to keep your relationships strong and help you bond with others. [15] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- When you go out with friends, you should also set aside time to chat. For example, when you go to the movies, you can spend 15 minutes chatting before enjoying the movie.
- If the other person is focused on the phone, let them know that you want their attention during the meeting. You could say, “I’m so glad we could meet up tonight. But it would be nice if you could keep your eyes off your phone during dinner.”
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Choose friends who help you feel better about yourself. Instead of choosing friends who look interesting, you should choose people who care about you, are willing to support and give you advice. Those are the friends that will make your life more wonderful! Spend time with the people you like to be around. [16] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- Treat your friends the way you want to be treated. Be there when they need it and don’t stop encouraging.
- Don’t worry about actively cutting off contact with negative people. Just focus on welcoming the positivity and the negative people will naturally disappear from your life.
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Give as much as you get from relationships. Good relationships often involve give and take, so you can’t just take. Try to reciprocate the kindness of a friend, loved one, or lover. Creating balance will help you cultivate strong relationships. [17] X Research Source
- For example, if a friend does something for you, reciprocate in the same way or with another kind gesture, like buying them a cup of coffee.
- Likewise, when your partner always does what you want, take the initiative to say that you’ll do something he or she likes next time.
Advice: If you’re in a relationship with someone who just takes, don’t be so quick to let them down and think they don’t know you’re doing it. The next step is to talk to them about the issue. You could say, “I feel like I’ve been giving this relationship more than I can ever get in return. What do you think is going on between the two of us?”
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See the good side of others. Your outlook on life will change in a positive way when you think that everyone is good. Besides, you will also easily recognize your own good points, making your mood better. So try to think positively about others. Here are some suggestions for you: [18] X Research Sources
- Do not rush to think badly of anyone when things are not clear.
- See the good in every action.
- Look at the other person’s strengths instead of their cons.
- Focus on the good instead of the bad.
- Remember that not everyone is on the same journey as you.
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Open your heart to love when you’re ready. Before finding love, you need to understand yourself. Next, think about what you want most in your lover. When you meet someone who has a crush on you, you should try to get to know them to see if the two of you are a good match. Let the relationship develop into love as you grow closer to them. [19] X Research Source
- You will fall in love many times in your life. This is a painful journey, but will help you find your perfect partner.
- Don’t be compulsive in love. The best relationships take time to develop into a genuine connection.
Advice
- Have the courage to go out into the world and respect others.
- Do the right thing.
- Take care of yourself physically and mentally. [20] X Research Source
- Be patient with yourself.
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This article was co-written by Kirsten Parker, MFA. Kirsten Parker is a mindset and action coach, based in Los Angeles, California. She helps successful people overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in helping clients boost their confidence and self-understanding by combining tools in the fields of psychology, habit change, and self-regulation. She is an expert in using the HeartMath technique, trained in stress management, anxiety, smart energy, along with emotional intelligence and the science of self-acceptance. She holds a master’s degree from the Yale School of Drama in theater management.
There are 14 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,177 times.
Life is always going on around you, but you’re probably having a hard time choosing the right way to live. How you live is your choice, and making choices that work for you is the best way to find meaning and happiness. To live a true life, you first need to understand yourself, including your core values, strengths, and passions. From there, you will decide to act in accordance with those values. Finally, engage with others and show them that you care.
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