10 reasons why your girlfriend is afraid to kiss you

If your girlfriend turns her face away when you want to kiss her, it will be difficult to understand what is going on. Are you a bad kisser, or is something wrong with the relationship? We know this makes you feverish, but don’t freak out. We’ve put together an article that encourages you to check your hygiene and other issues that make her shy about kissing, so you can find out and understand why your girlfriend is afraid to kiss.

Table of Contents

The breath is not fresh.

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Brush your teeth, chew mints or gum. Scent is an important factor in attracting and influencing the way we perceive our partners, so maybe your girlfriend loses interest because you smelled of the meal earlier. Before you go on a date or kiss her, clean your breath. ^{[1] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

One in two suffers from dry lips.

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Use lip balm and moisturizer to keep lips soft. Dry, chapped lips make kissing uncomfortable for both parties. If she has dry lips, you can give her a lipstick set that includes a beautiful lip balm or a gift set of lip balm, body lotion, and other care products so she won’t be embarrassed. Before kissing you can also nourish your lips and invite her to share. ^{[2] X Research Source}

Take out your lip balm and ask her “Hey you want to try it?”.

She doesn’t like your technique.

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You use too many blades or press too hard. Or you even bite and hurt her. Don’t worry, kissing takes practice like any other, it’s something you can improve on. Try to relax your body and lips, making note of any kissing techniques you can imitate. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Let the lips do the job and don’t let the tongue interfere (at first). Then let her lead the way, applying pressure and tongue motion she uses. ^{[4] X Research Sources}
If in doubt, ask her, “How would you like to be kissed?”.

You two just had an argument and she hasn’t connected with you yet.

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Review relationship quality. Has something just changed? Resisting physical intimacy can be a girlfriend’s way of reacting to unpleasant things – even if it makes you stressed and frustrated. She withdrew as much as possible because she felt that she was not being heard or understood. Talk to her about your needs in the relationship. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

Ask her open-ended questions and don’t blame one side. For example, ask, “What else is missing in my relationship?” or “What can we do to make the relationship better?”.

She is stressed, busy, or upset.

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Support her emotionally so she gets better. If your girlfriend is stressed, she won’t be in the mood for kissing. This could be a situation where she is temporarily not interested in kissing, but normally she is still enthusiastic about you. The good news is that your relationship is still safe. While she’s going through a tough time, empathize with her to promote emotional closeness. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Actively listen to her problems and respond with statements that demonstrate you understand her feelings. Offer comfort, “I totally understand why you are so sad.”

She was worried because she couldn’t kiss.

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Be patient and reassure her when it comes to kissing. If you haven’t kissed anyone in a while, she may feel insecure, just as you will be nervous about kissing your new lover. She’ll be even more nervous if it’s her first kiss! ^{[7] X Research Sources}

Praise her to reassure her. Compliment her before or after the kiss, “Did you know you’re a good kisser?”.

She wanted a relationship that wasn’t emotionally close.

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Ask her what she defines this relationship as. Maybe she just sees the relationship as “friends-with-benefits” rather than a bond. Since some people view kissing as more emotional intimacy than physical intimacy, she may not want to kiss you because she wants to keep her emotional distance. ^{[8] X Trusted Source PubMed Central Go to Source}

Start the story by affirming what you observe, “I see that every time I want to kiss you, you turn away.” ^{[9] X Research Source}
Acknowledge how her actions affect you, “I feel rejected and worried when you don’t reciprocate.”
Figure out the problem by asking, “Can you tell me why you don’t want to kiss me?”.
Clarify the relationship, “If you had to put a label, what would you put your relationship on?”.

She thinks kissing is going to bed.

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Communicate your intentions if she’s nervous about intimacy. Because couples who kiss frequently have a higher frequency of sex, if she has a lower sexual desire than you do, she’ll worry that kissing will lead to the sex stage. Whether the two of you have slept together or not, let your partner know your intentions when you kiss her, so that you both feel more in tune. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Talk to her about intimacy, “How comfortable are you with intimacy? Can you kiss me?”
Ask her permission to agree very clearly by asking, “Can I kiss you?”.
Clarify your intentions, “I want you to know that kissing doesn’t mean going to bed if you don’t want to.”

She wanted to kiss in private.

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Check your girlfriend’s preferences before you kiss her in public. If you’re going to kiss her in public and she pushes her away, she’s uncomfortable, but it’s not your fault either. Everyone’s comfort level in public is different, so be sure to ask her about limits and comfort levels first before doing anything. ^{[11] X Research Source}

Ask the person, “How do you feel about kissing in public?”.

She doesn’t like kissing and touching.

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Maybe you did nothing wrong. It’s just that there’s a section of people who don’t like physical contact and your girlfriend probably does. You shouldn’t pressure or try to change their mind, but ask her what form of affection she’s okay with. ^{[12] X Research Source}

“Is it okay if I hug or hold your hand?”
The desire for physical intimacy is normal. If your girlfriend’s dislike of kissing is the death blow to your relationship, you might want to consider breaking up.
If she looks annoyed when you’re too close, like when you put your arm around her or hold her hand, chances are she doesn’t want to kiss you either.

Steps