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This article was co-written by Cplette Gee. Cplette Gee is a romance consultant, violence prevention expert, and the author of “Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” With the goal of creating meaningful and romantic relationships, Cplette uses her experience in the mental health industry in coaching, online courses, and seminars to help women and men With her prior experience in psychology, she has helped create and maintain romantic, healthy, meaningful and happy relationships.She was featured on TLC. , London Live, Huffington Post and CNN.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,430 times.
One of the scariest things in a relationship that can happen before it even starts: is asking a girl out for the first time. This is really difficult for young people if they have never had any dating experience . While asking someone out can be stressful, there are many super simple ways to invite someone you know or a stranger to.
Steps
Invite a friend or acquaintance to hang out
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Get ideas for a place and time for an appointment. Don’t ask her out like you want to “go out someday”. Please invite directly and include specific information. Have some ideas ready in case she doesn’t like a certain dish or gets too busy one day.
- If she keeps turning down invitations without setting another date, she’s probably not interested. Many girls find it difficult to directly “reject” an invitation or not want to upset you. [1] X Research Source
- Dinner at a not-so-luxury restaurant is a perfect idea for a first date.
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Invite her directly. Even if you’re inclined to ask her out over the phone, text message, or online, this will get in the way of nonverbal communication. These indirect approaches can lead to unclear communication that takes away your chances in a romantic relationship. Instead, the next time you see her, ask her out in person.
- When you have a private moment, invite her like this: “I was wondering if you are free this Friday night? I want to invite you to come with me to [name of restaurant]. How do you feel?”
- If you rarely see her, call or text her. You could send a sample message like this: “Hi! I’m [your name] in [where you know her, like a certain class]. You seem like a very personable person. and I want to know more about you. I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me at [restaurant name] this Friday night at 6 o’clock?”
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Ask a mutual friend for help. If you’re still having trouble getting her to open up, try asking a mutual friend for help. This friend might offer some suggestions or opinions on things she loves. They may also be happy to help “give you a chance” or assist you in asking her out somehow. [2] X Research Source While mutual friends will make things easier, don’t expect them to ask her out on your behalf.
- To address the issue, you could try saying something like this: “Hey, do you know [girl’s name]? I want to ask her out. Did she say anything about me? Do you think that’s her? Will he agree?”
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Clarify your intentions. You don’t have to tell her outright that “this is a date,” but don’t hide your feelings. If she questions your “hang out-and-date” or your feelings for her, tell the truth. Trying to “make the price” by pretending not to like her will lead to the opposite result. [3] X Research Sources
Invite a stranger out
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Avoid doing anything that makes her feel pressured or unsafe. Do not approach a girl who is walking alone on a deserted street in the evening. Similarly, don’t ask a girl out if she’s “stuck” with you somewhere, like an elevator or a corner of a room. An effective way to make her feel safe is to talk to her when other people are nearby.
- Don’t have any physical contact unless she initiates first. Invading her personal space will immediately make her feel threatened.
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Introduce yourself politely. You can try making eye contact before greeting her. Introduce your name and give her a cute compliment. If she responds to her name and compliments you back or shows her appreciation, say you want to get to know her.
- You might start off like this: “Hi, your shirt is so pretty. [The color or pattern on it] is so cute!” Then wait for her response. Continue to introduce yourself: “I’m [your name].”
- If she ignores your greeting, it’s best to back off.
- If she seems to be responding and neither of you is busy, chat longer.
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Give her your contact information. Even though most guys think they’re “default” to asking for a girl’s phone number, it’s best to give your information away first. This will help her take away any pressure and will be more open to your offer. [4] X Research Source Write your information on a piece of paper instead of asking her to save it on her phone so she doesn’t feel scared and manipulated.
- If she likes, she will actively give you her phone number or email you.
- When sending her your contact information, you could say something like, “I’m glad to see you, but I have to go. I really enjoyed talking to you and wanted to know more about you. If If you feel the same way, here’s my phone number.”
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Call, text, or email her the next day to schedule an appointment. If she gives you her contact information, don’t play tricks or wait for her to make the first move. Invite her to dinner at a certain restaurant with a specific date and time. You should have a few backup options available in case she gets really busy or doesn’t like certain foods.
- You can text or say something like, “Hi, I’m [your name] we met yesterday at [location]. I was wondering if you were available Friday night at 7 o’clock. There’s a restaurant specializing in [food] called [restaurant name] I’ve always wanted to go there, I hope you will eat with me?If you want to go somewhere else or you’re busy, let me know know what you like. Thank you! I look forward to seeing you soon.”
- If she doesn’t answer the first call or keeps turning down invitations without suggesting another date, she’s probably not interested in hanging out with you. Even though it seems like she took the initiative to get to know you first, people change their minds all the time. Respect her decision and move forward.
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Remember that the worst that can happen is that she will “reject”. While this is a common occurrence, you should be prepared for the possibility of rejection when you ask a strange girl out. Being rejected by someone you know can create awkward moments in life. The advantage of asking a cute girl you just met at a coffee shop is that you won’t be pressured by public opinion. Keep this advantage in mind to boost your confidence.
Read body language
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At the very least, always observe her actions and words. Understanding correct body language will help you successfully ask a girl out, whether she’s a stranger or a friend. This will help you figure out if she likes you, before you start talking.
- Although researchers disagree on how precisely body language plays a role in human communication, most agree that it is important. [5] X Research Sources
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Look into her eyes. You should look at her face and notice if she looks back at you. If she doesn’t look you in the eye for a long time or keeps looking away, chances are she’s not interested in dating you.
- Remember that there are a few reasons why she won’t make eye contact even if she has feelings for you. Perhaps she has vision problems, social anxiety disorder, autism spectrum disorder, or another problem that makes nonverbal communication difficult.
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Observe her posture. If she has feelings for you, she will look in your direction and not cross her arms over her chest.
- Signs that she doesn’t like you include crossing her arms over her chest and stooping. [6] X Research Source
- Notice the context. If it’s cold, don’t assume that her crossing of arms shows that she doesn’t like to talk. [7] X Sources of Research Similarly, if you’re standing at the only exit of the room, don’t take her looking in that direction as a sign that she likes you.
Advice
- If a girl seems busy or has an urgent need, it’s not the right time to ask her out.
- Don’t let one or two other friends go with you on your date. This will quickly change the situation from “first date” to “a fun get together with friends”. If she asks about asking someone to come with you, emphasize that you want to go out with her alone. If she insists, she probably doesn’t want to see this as an opportunity to “date”. [8] X Research Sources When you’re in love, there’s plenty of time for the two of you to hang out with friends. Maybe she’ll ask something like, “Can I bring [friend’s name] with me?” You should answer this: “Actually, I just wanted to hang out with you that night.”
- The most important thing is that you need to be confident and upfront when you ask her out. [9] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by Cplette Gee. Cplette Gee is a romance consultant, violence prevention expert, and the author of “Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending.” With the goal of creating meaningful and romantic relationships, Cplette uses her experience in the mental health industry in coaching, online courses, and seminars to help women and men With her prior experience in psychology, she has helped create and maintain romantic, healthy, meaningful and happy relationships.She was featured on TLC. , London Live, Huffington Post and CNN.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,430 times.
One of the scariest things in a relationship that can happen before it even starts: is asking a girl out for the first time. This is really difficult for young people if they have never had any dating experience . While asking someone out can be stressful, there are many super simple ways to invite someone you know or a stranger to.
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