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The issue of behavior in a relationship may not be simple, sometimes you feel like you are fighting the whole world to get your lover’s time. A healthy love relationship is about walking together and knowing how to exchange information. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t think he has a problem, but in reality, he is growing apart because of the pressures of life. Either way, it’s time to take control of the relationship and get things back to normal.
Steps
Identify the problem
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Approach the situation. Ask yourself what is causing your boyfriend to drift further and further away from you. It could be pressure from work, illness, anxiety or family problems. [1] X Research Source
- The key to solving any problem is to understand the underlying cause. Don’t assume that he’s distant because you did something wrong.
- Don’t “blame yourself”.
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Don’t panic. Relationship stress only makes things worse. Tension often arises from judgments based on incomplete data. If you feel too tired, you should breathe deeply to clear your mind. [2] X Research Source
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Talk to him. The key to a successful relationship is open and honest communication. Try to sit down with him and talk about your feelings. Don’t pressure him or be grumpy. Let your boyfriend know you want to spend more time with him. Ask him if he needs any relief. [3] X Research Sources
- Talking about your feelings can be difficult, even with your boyfriend. The most important thing in a relationship is to trust each other. If you want your love to progress, both of you have to be open. [4] X Research Sources
- Body language awareness. Does he fold his arms? How about you? Is the voice being pushed higher and higher? If you see these signs happening, back off. It is possible that one or both of them feel that their opinions are not taken into account. [5] X Research Sources
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Help your boyfriend wake up. You’ve let your boyfriend know you miss him, but you still need to remind him of the things he misses about you. Physical intimacy is a healthy part of a love relationship. You don’t have to jump into bed with him, but let him know you’re happy to have him around. [6] X Research Sources
- Be aware of your boyfriend’s limitations before trying something intimate. If he’s not in the mood for any romantic action, don’t force it. [7] X Research Sources
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Stop working for him. If you’re doing laundry for your boyfriend, stop. If you usually cook dinner, try taking a day off. It’s not an act of resistance, you just want to make him realize your hard work. Your time is precious and should not be taken advantage of by your boyfriend. [8] X Research Sources
- This tactic can cause a bit of tension between the two of you, but to determine the cause of the problem, this is a way to open the door.
Let’s solve it together
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Dating on a certain evening. Find an evening where you can spend time together and stick to that schedule. Make him responsible for seeing you every night. You don’t have to do anything fancy or expensive on your date, just let your boyfriend know it’s time to spend time together. [9] X Research Source
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Find activities to do together. Stroll. Go to a restaurant. Participate in a variety of activities until you find a few that you both enjoy. Think about the first time you met him and what the two of you did.
- Try to be creative and try new things to boost the relationship. Ask your boyfriend to do things he’s sure he’ll enjoy, and encourage him to do the same for you. [10] X Research Source
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Laugh. Smiling helps bring people together, especially in stressful situations. When you two meet, you should go to the movies or to the comedy club. You can even tell each other funny stories. The power of laughter should not be underestimated. [11] X Research Source
- Another way to create laughter is to tickle. Tickling is a way of showing affection and joking. It’s a prime example of give-and-take in a relationship. [12] X Research Source
- Tickling also has another benefit: arousing sexual desire in adults. [13] X Research Source
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Find a compromise. Accept that your boyfriend may enjoy doing things that you don’t like. Pay attention to his needs. If your boyfriend likes to watch TV and you like to have fun outside, plan to watch a movie one night and go out the next night. [14] X Research Source
- This also applies to arguments. If the argument persists, take some time to consider the situation. Not focusing on who will “win”, but the goal is to protect the relationship. Memorize the phrase “Consent to disagreement”. [15] X Research Source
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Try to make friends with his friends. You don’t have to change yourself to fit, just be happy and optimistic. Similarly, invite your boyfriend to hang out with your group of friends.
- When you do this, be sure to respect each other’s boundaries. Don’t assume you’ll be invited out with his friends, and don’t feel pressured to invite him everywhere you go.
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Respect. Give your boyfriend some privacy and independence. Although the purpose of the article is to get your boyfriend to spend more time with you, it does not mean that he is suffocated. That would make him even more distant. [16] X Research Source
- No change required. Be supportive and accept the fact that he has other friends. [17] X Research Source
- Don’t play games with him. Don’t try to “draw him back” by doing high. Making plays only makes the situation worse. [18] X Research Sources
Take care of yourself
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Live Strong. People love confidence and it’s a beauty in the eyes of a partner. When dealing with a heartless spouse, you must not let their actions bring you down. Be kind to yourself and believe in yourself. [19] X Research Source
- If you show confidence, he’s more likely to notice and want to spend more time with you. [20] X Research Source
- Wear clothes that make you look more attractive. If you often wonder how you would look with a new hair color, try dyeing it. Do these things for yourself and most importantly, you feel good about yourself. [21] X Research Source
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Live independently. While your boyfriend is having fun outside without you, you should also find a way to use your time.
- Go out with friends or pursue a hobby that you never had time to do before.
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Maintain a healthy lifestyle. Exercise not only helps to keep fit, but also elevates mood and reduces stress. [22] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to Source
- Even if the relationship is going well, you still need to take care of yourself.
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Optimistic. The best way to attract other people (boyfriend included) is to be happy with yourself. An upbeat attitude is a surefire way to get your boyfriend to notice you. Happiness is contagious. [23] X Research Sources
- Practice meditation to keep your mind sharp and increase your optimism.
Advice
- Girlfriend is still a friend. Be sure to be there when he needs it most and he should treat you the same.
- This doesn’t just happen to girls. If you’re a guy and feel like your girlfriend is ignoring you, most of the steps above can work.
- You cannot change a person. Do not try because it will not bring results, and that is not the purpose of love.
- Be persistent.
- Understand each other, do not speculate from their own feelings and opinions, learn to communicate.
Warning
- Do not deny the possibility of having to end the relationship. If you feel like you’ve been trying so hard to fix the situation to no avail, it might be time to move on. Breaking up with your boyfriend isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible.
X
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 70 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 36,287 times.
The issue of behavior in a relationship may not be simple, sometimes you feel like you are fighting the whole world to get your lover’s time. A healthy love relationship is about walking together and knowing how to exchange information. Maybe your boyfriend doesn’t think he has a problem, but in reality, he is growing apart because of the pressures of life. Either way, it’s time to take control of the relationship and get things back to normal.
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