How to Overcome Sensitivity

Meditation. Meditation, especially mindfulness meditation, is an activity that can help you control your emotional responses. ^[29] It may also help you improve your brain’s response to stressors. ^[30] focuses on acknowledging and accepting your emotions in the present moment without criticizing them. This is very helpful in overcoming emotional over-sensitivity. You can take a class, use online meditation techniques, or learn how to meditate on your own. ^[31]

• Find a quiet place where you won’t be distracted from work or distractions. Sit with your back straight on the floor or in an upright chair. Sitting hunched over will make it difficult to breathe properly. ^[32]
• Start by focusing on each element of the breath, for example the feeling of the chest rising and falling or the sound of each breath. Focus on this element for a few minutes while you are breathing deeply and steadily.
• Expand your focus to the senses. For example, start focusing on what you hear, smell, and touch. This can help you keep your eyes closed, because we’re easily distracted when we see something.
• Accept the thoughts and feelings you experience but don’t judge anything as “good” or “bad”. That way, you can consciously feel things as they appear, especially in the beginning: “I feel like my toes are cold. I’m thinking I’m distracted.”
• If you find yourself distracted, focus back on your breathing. Set aside 15 minutes a day to meditate.
• You can find mindfulness meditation tutorials online at the UCLA Center for Mindfulness Research and Awareness ^[33] and BuddhaNet ^[34] .

Learn to communicate assertively . Sometimes, we become overly sensitive because we don’t articulate our needs or feelings clearly to others. When you are passive in communication, you will have problems saying “no” and you will not be able to express your thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly. By learning to communicate assertively, you’ll learn how to communicate your needs and feelings to others, making you feel heard and valued. ^{[35] [36]}

• Use personal pronouns as the subject when speaking to express your feelings. For example: “I’m sad because you’re late to the appointment”, or “I want to leave early for a meeting because I’m afraid I’ll be late”. This will help you avoid saying things like blaming others and keep your focus on your own feelings.
• Ask prompting questions while in conversation. Especially if the conversation is emotional, asking questions to clarify your understanding will help keep you from overreacting. For example, after the other person has finished speaking, say, “I see you just said… Right?” Then give the person a chance to clarify. ^[37]
• Avoid “give orders”. Words like “must” or “must not” impose a moral judgment on another person’s behavior and feel like you’re blaming or demanding on the other person. Replace with “I think” or “I want you”. For example, instead of saying, “You remember to take out the trash,” say, “I want you to remember to take out the trash because I’m tired of doing things for you that you forgot.” ^[38]
• Don’t let speculation run rampant. Don’t assume that you really know what’s going on. Let others share their thoughts and experiences. Use sentences like “What do you think?” or “Do you have any suggestions?” ^[39]
• Be aware that other people will have different experiences. Competing over who is “right” can leave you feeling agitated and angry. Emotions are subjective; Remember that there is no “right” answer to emotions. Use statements like “My experience is different from yours” along with acknowledging the other person’s feelings, so everyone’s experience is acknowledged.

Wait until you calm down. Emotions can affect how you react to situations. Reacting emotionally can cause you to do things you regret. Give yourself time to relax, even if it’s just for a few minutes, before reacting to an provocative situation. ^[40]

• Ask yourself “If…then” questions. “If I do this now, then what will happen next?”. You should consider a lot of cause and effect — both positive and negative — for your actions. Then, consider each outcome with your action.
• For example, maybe you just had a big argument with your partner. You are angry and heartbroken, and just want a quick divorce. Take your time and ask yourself “If…then”. What if you ask for a divorce? Your partner may feel hurt or unloved. They may still remember that statement when you’ve both calmed down, and take it as a sign that you’re untrustworthy when you’re angry. They may agree to divorce you while angry during an argument with you. Do you want to face those consequences?

Approach yourself and others with compassion. You may find yourself avoiding situations that cause stress or discomfort because you are always overly sensitive. You may assume that any mistake in a relationship is disruptive, so you avoid even building relationships with others, or if at all, only superficially. Approach others (and yourself) with love. You should think of the best about everyone, especially those who know you. If your feelings are hurt, don’t assume it’s intentional: understand with tolerance that everyone, including friends and family, can make mistakes. ^[41]

• If you really do feel hurt, be sure to communicate it to your loved one to express it. They may not realize that they have hurt you, and if they truly love you, they will want to know how to avoid doing it again in the future.
• Don’t criticize others. For example, if a friend forgets that you two had a lunch date, don’t start the conversation by saying, “You forgot about me and you hurt me.” Instead, say, “I’m sorry you forgot our lunch date, it’s so important to me that we spend time together.” Then, allow the person to tell their story: “What’s wrong with you? Do you want to talk about it?”
• Remember that other people may not always want to talk about their feelings or experiences, especially if they are new or inexperienced. Don’t take it as your fault if your loved one doesn’t want to share it right away. It’s not a sign that you did something wrong, they just need some time to process their feelings.
• Approach yourself the way you would treat your friends, the people you love and care about. If you don’t have the heart to say something hurtful or judgmental to your friends, why would you do that to yourself?

Seek professional help if necessary. Sometimes, you can do your best to control your sensitivity but still feel overwhelmed. You can work with a qualified psychologist to explore your feelings and reactions in a safe and supportive environment. A trained counselor or therapist will help you discover harmful ways of thinking to manage your emotions in a healthy way.

• Sensitive people may need help learning how to manage negative emotions, as well as skills in handling emotional situations. This is not necessarily a sign of mental illness, but you will develop useful skills in communicating with others.
• Ordinary people can also seek help from a psychologist. You don’t have to be mentally ill or have a serious problem to see a counselor, psychologist, therapist, and so on. These are health professionals, just like dentists, optometrists, general practitioners, or physical therapists. While psychological treatments are sometimes dismissed as things that shouldn’t be talked about (instead of arthritis, tooth decay, or sprains), many people still benefit from them. ^[42]
• Some people may believe that people should “try to bear it” and have to live strong on their own. This can really cause great harm. While it’s true that you should do what you can to manage your emotions, there are many benefits to having someone else help you. Some disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, make it difficult for people to process their emotions. Meeting a psychologist is not weak. It shows that you are someone who cares about yourself.
• Most counselors and therapists cannot prescribe medication for you. However, a mental health professional can know when you need to see a specialist for a diagnosis and prescription for disorders such as depression or anxiety. ^[43]

High sensitivity can be a sign of depression or other problems. Some people are born sensitive, and it’s been evident since they were babies. This isn’t a disorder, a mental illness, or a “problem” at all – it’s just a feature of their personality. However, if a person goes from being normally sensitive to being extremely sensitive, “cry easily”, “emotional”, “irritable” or something like that, it could be a sign that There’s something wrong.

• Sometimes, over-sensitivity is the result of depression and it overloads people with emotions (both negative and sometimes positive).
• Imbalances in metabolism can cause over-sensitization. For example, pregnant women can react very emotionally. Either it’s a boy going through puberty, or someone with a thyroid problem. Certain medications or drug treatments can cause emotional changes.
• A trained doctor will help you screen for depression. Self-diagnosis is fine, but it’s best to see professionals to see if you’re suffering from depression, or if you’re oversensitive for other reasons.