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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
This article has been viewed 41,115 times.
Getting your girlfriend to want you back is hard work, especially when your relationship ends in a whirlwind. However, if you believe it’s a great relationship then pick up the dying embers and rekindle the fire. For your girlfriend to want you back, you need to give her space and help her remember what a wonderful person you are. If you want to know more then read the following steps.
Steps
Take a step back
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Give her her own space. While you may think that the best way to get your girlfriend back is to fight for her all, you should actually give her some breathing space instead of trying to win her back right away. Unless her relationship with another guy is growing stronger and you’re determined to break them up, you should deal with it calmly until she’s calmed down and has a new perspective on your relationship.
- This doesn’t mean you should cut off contact altogether, unless you think it’s for the best. But you shouldn’t text her too much or ask her out often, or she’ll get scared.
- If you give your girlfriend space, she’ll probably think about you more. She’ll think to herself, “I haven’t heard from [insert your name here] in a while. He must be fine without me…” This will make her curious and wonder. What are you doing.
- If she takes the initiative to ask you out, that’s fine, but don’t go overboard when you two meet.
- Giving her space is also a sign of your maturity. This will make her want you more.
- Obviously, you shouldn’t go too far before your close relationship returns. Give her some time to forget the pain, but not so long that she forgets all the good things about you. Every situation is different — you have to judge for yourself. As a general rule, you should give her a few weeks, but no longer than two months.
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Think about the things that are going wrong between the two of you. In the time to let your girlfriend have her own space, you don’t just sit around and wait for the time to pass. Instead, think about why the relationship ended. If the problem is obvious, like you’re not spending enough time with her, the situation is too easy. But if the problem is more complicated — for example, she feels disrespected and you spend too much time hanging out — then you need to determine what is causing your love to disappear. .
- If she’s the one to take the initiative to end things, then you’ll have to take on a bigger challenge. Think of all the reasons why your girlfriend does this; If she suddenly wants to break up, you should go through old emails or texts to see if you can identify the problem.
- If you’re the one who took the initiative to end the relationship, there’s another challenge to overcome. You have to convince her that you won’t break her heart again.
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Make a plan to solve the problem. After identifying the problem, it is up to you to decide which solution to choose. If there are many different problems, you need to find multiple solutions, or a total solution to solve them all. If the relationship ended because you spent too much time with your friends, make her a priority by going on date night each week, and thinking of activities you both enjoy doing together. If the relationship ends because of your inability to communicate, practice showing the honesty and compassion in normal relationships.
- Finding ways to overcome your own shortcomings will help solve the problem. Surely you cannot be innocent in this breakdown.
- Another part of the plan is that you have to rethink how you understand her; If her passion for horses makes you angry, you should find a way to not be upset about it before you take the next step.
- If you have a lot of big problems to deal with, make a long-term plan, such as going to psychological treatment, rehab, or rethinking your entire personality in some way.
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Solve your own problems. Even if you think you’ve found the exact problem and solution to get your girlfriend back quickly, things are rarely as simple as that. Instead, you need to find a way to make yourself the person many girls want. When you get back to your girlfriend, she’ll see the difference. That means you have to examine yourself from the inside out; Although a new hairstyle may not impress her, she will notice more when you see how happy you are and how concerned about your self-image in her eyes.
- Spend more time on hobbies, whether it’s cycling or mechanical enthusiast. Enthusiasm for hobbies will make you a more interesting person to talk to.
- Find ways to build a more optimistic attitude towards life. If just being around you makes her happier, then she definitely wants to keep seeing you.
Make your girlfriend want you back
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Show your girlfriend that you’re okay without her. If she hears you’ve been heartbroken, crying in public, and shouting her name in the street, she’ll quickly lose interest before you can even say “I miss you!” Instead you have to show your girlfriend and hear that you are living a very happy life without her by your side. She’ll see you’re active with lots of friends around, and start to wonder why you haven’t openly shown signs of affection for her.
- Go out with your friends in places where you two often hang out. Be sure to go with other friends and let her see that you have a good laugh but don’t overdo it.
- If you see your girlfriend on a certain occasion, such as at a party, don’t leave everything behind and run over to check on her. Approach her casually, but let her see you’re having a busy social life without her around.
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Make your girlfriend’s friends see that she needs you. Here’s the truth: you’ll never be able to make your girlfriend want you back if her friends don’t like you. If her friends don’t like you because you’re controlling, don’t care much for them, or just because you’re the bad guy, then it’s up to you to make them think you’re really not that bad – – and how to get this information to the ears of the girl you like.
- If you run into her friends by chance, try to chat without revealing this intention.
- When talking to them, you shouldn’t mention your girlfriend right away. Even so, you can casually inquire about her and let them see you’re hurting, if you don’t mind letting others see your weakness.
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Approach her slowly when the time comes. After a while after you’ve captured your girlfriend’s attention, slowly return to her life. It could be as simple as stopping to talk for a few minutes when you run into her, or casually placing a tray of food next to her during lunch, or texting if you know she likes a certain program to be prepared. shown on television.
- Behave wisely. Treat your girlfriend sweetly while at the same time making her wonder if you’re looking to be friends. Don’t rush to compliment her as soon as she agrees to hang out again.
- After the two of you start talking again, attack harder. Ask her to do something as simple as going out for coffee or attending a lecture together. Don’t ask her to do anything romantic.
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Show that you have changed. You can show your girlfriend that you’ve changed without having to scream “Look how I’ve changed!” Just spend enough time with her to let her see that you’ve really changed your behavior, if it’s necessary. If she used to think you were too messy, try to improve your appearance. If she ever complains that you’re always late, try to be early for your next coffee date. Don’t talk about these changes but let her see for herself, and she will be really emotional about it.
- You must feel natural with these changes. Don’t change anything about who you are just to please your girlfriend, or you’ll be back in the rut.
- If you feel like you’ve hurt her a lot while you’re dating, it’s never too late to say sorry. She will be touched that you spent a lot of time thinking about this relationship after the breakup.
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Pretend to be tall. This really should be done. When you think you’re about to win your girlfriend back or when she realizes what a great lover you are, this is not the time to confess. Instead, you should throw her a ball to show her that she still needs to fight to win your love, instead of simply falling into your lap. As the two of you start hanging out more, don’t always accept her invitations willingly.
- Disappear for a few hours leaving her wondering where you are. Her mind will whirl.
- If you’ve dated someone else before, bring it up but don’t go into too much detail so she knows she could lose you.
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Make sure she really wants you back. When you feel like you’ve won your girlfriend’s attention and even made her a little jealous, it’s time to confirm for sure if she really wants you back, before saying it out loud. his true feelings. While you don’t have to be 100% certain of what your girlfriend is thinking, the more certain she is that she wants you back, the less likely you are to get screwed. Here are some signs that your girlfriend wants you back:
- Pay attention to body language. When talking, does she have money close to you and make eye contact, does she look at the floor every time she feels shy?
- Notice if she’s jealous. Does she ask if you’re dating anyone else, or does she look frustrated when she sees you talking to other girls? If that’s the case, then she’s probably wanting to possess you.
- Notice if she starts to treat you like a boyfriend. Does she hug you, compliment you, and invite you to date-like outings?
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Speak out your feelings. When you’re pretty sure your girlfriend feels the same way as you, there’s no point in continuing to talk around. Find a time when it’s just the two of you and choose a romantic spot to ensure the privacy you need. Then you look her in the eye and tell her how much you miss her, that you really want to be her lover again. You don’t have to put yourself down, but show her that you’ve put a lot of thought into your recent breakup and are determined to have a good relationship this time around.
- Expressed in action. Show her how much effort you put into changing yourself instead of just making promises.
- Give your girlfriend time. If she’s hesitant at first, don’t get angry or frustrated. Remember that even if your girlfriend really wants you back, she still wants to avoid getting hurt again.
Maintain a relationship after healing
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Make a fresh start after healing the relationship. If you are lucky enough to have a girlfriend for a second chance, do your best to make a fresh start. While the two of you can still go to the same old restaurants, watch TV shows, or do the things you used to enjoy doing together, it’s important to find new dating activities and tactics so you don’t feel like like this new relationship is just another version of the previous one.
- You can bring back happy memories, but avoid thinking or talking about any bad experiences, unless the two of you can laugh about it.
- Don’t lack interest in her. Just because you two are dating again doesn’t mean you don’t need to take the time to show your interest in her.
- Develop the relationship slowly. Act like you’re starting a new relationship instead of reverting to your previous behavior. Don’t rush to spend all your time together, even though that’s what you usually do before you break up.
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Don’t make the same mistakes before. Of course, you shouldn’t worry too much about previous breakups, but be wary of whatever caused the relationship to fail the first time around. If the cause of the breakup is because you spend too much time with your friends, and now you continue to hang out with your friends often, then reduce the frequency a bit. If the breakup was caused by something she did, talk openly about it if it happens again.
- Don’t forget how bad it felt when you made those mistakes the first time. You won’t want to go through that pain again.
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Don’t think too much. While you should be wary of past mistakes, you can’t obsess over them, or this new relationship will continue to fail before it has a chance to move in the right direction. If a bad situation arises, you can recall what happened and respond with caution, but don’t worry too much about the possibility of failure, as you won’t be able to enjoy your stay. together.
- If you’re always worried about failure, your girlfriend will realize that and of course she doesn’t like such a relationship.
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Be true to yourself. If you need to change for the better in your relationship then do so, but you shouldn’t be overly condescending because always focus on pleasing her no matter how it hurts you, then you won’t be able to. feel comfortable. The girl will eventually agree to date you for who you are, so don’t forget to let her see your lovable personality.
- If you feel like you can’t stay true to yourself without causing major problems in your relationship, then you have to rethink your priorities in life.
- Be confident. Remember that your girlfriend loves you not just for who you are, but for the way you are acting to win her affection.
Advice
- Remember to act delicately, evaluate your ex before taking these steps, she may have changed in some way (for better or for worse), and you don’t like the new person anyway. her, or maybe it’s easier for you to win her back.
- When meeting with an ex-girlfriend, you should not openly curse at her new boyfriend, this will only reveal your intentions and put you in an awkward position.
- Remember to set aside any disagreements between the two of you before undertaking this mission; Don’t ignore any unreported issues.
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This article was co-written by John Keegan. John Keegan is a New York-based marriage and love expert and motivational speaker. He runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his knowledge of marriage and love, attraction and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and gives seminars on marriage and love internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York and Men’s Health.
This article has been viewed 41,115 times.
Getting your girlfriend to want you back is hard work, especially when your relationship ends in a whirlwind. However, if you believe it’s a great relationship then pick up the dying embers and rekindle the fire. For your girlfriend to want you back, you need to give her space and help her remember what a wonderful person you are. If you want to know more then read the following steps.
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