How to Listen Effectively

Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. It’s easy to wallow in yourself and only consider the impact of what others “say” about you. It’s your inner thoughts that get in the way of active listening. Instead, you need to open up and see things from the other person’s point of view: and assuming you were them, you’d be able to figure things out much more quickly. Listening also helps you become a better friend, by getting to know your friend better.

• Remember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. This means that you should listen more than you speak. Listening is more beneficial than talking. When listening to the other person, engage in conversation and make eye contact to let the other person know that you care about what the other person is saying (even if you’re not paying attention, it’s still polite) . A good listener is a better observer and is therefore also more attentive and understanding. Make sure you’re really listening and not doing anything else. Try to make sure that you are fully focused on the person who is speaking and are not distracted.
• Instead of immediately judging the person who is speaking or coming up with a “solution” right away, take the time to listen and consider the story from that person’s point of view. Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. This will help you to really listen to others, rather than form your own opinions before truly understanding the situation at hand.

Avoid comparing other people’s experiences with your own. While you may think that to really listen, it’s best to contrast the other person’s experience with your own, but this is completely wrong. If someone is telling a bereavement story, you can share a little, but avoid saying things like, “That’s exactly what happened to me…” This could be seen as offensive or offensive. being insensitive, especially when you compare a really serious matter with your shallow experience, like comparing someone else’s divorce with your three-month-old love story, that will make the speaker feel uncomfortable.

• You may think that this is the best way to capture the situation and be helpful, but this approach is actually somewhat rude and can make the speaker feel like you are not listening at all.
• Avoid using the pronoun “I” more than once. This is a clear sign that you care more about yourself than about the situation of others.
• Of course, if the other person knows that you’ve had a similar experience, they may take the initiative to consult you. In this case, you can offer your own opinion, but be careful not to act as if your experience and the other person’s are exactly the same. Doing so will make you look like you’re trying to make up a story to look useful.

Don’t try to get help right away. Some people think that while listening, they should also be ready to find a quick and easy solution to the other person’s problem. Instead of that attitude, however, you should accept their story as it is, and as you listen, slowly think of a “solution” – but only do so if the person asks for your help. this way. If you’re only thinking about temporary solutions to people’s problems, you’re not really listening.

• Concentrate on taking in everything that people tell you. Only by doing so can you really find a way to help.

Please sympathize. Show your partner that you care by nodding slightly at appropriate times, letting them know you’re listening. Also say short sentences like “Yes/Yes” when the person is talking about something they want you to agree with (notice their tone of voice) or “Oh” when they are talking about a sad or bad story. happen to them. Saying these words will show them that you are not only listening, but paying attention as well. Respond at the appropriate times, gently, so that you don’t seem overbearing and annoying. If someone is sad, try to empathize as much as possible and comfort them. However, on the other hand, most people don’t like being pitied by others. Therefore, when consoling others, do not appear superior to them.

Remember what you are told. A crucial part of effective listening is actually absorbing the information the other person is telling you. For example, if the person is talking about their problems with their best friend, Jake, and you’ve never met this Jake, you should at least remember his name so you can call him later – as if you were fairly familiar with the guy. story. If you don’t remember any important names, details, or events, it’s likely you weren’t listening at all.

• It’s okay if you don’t have a sharp memory. However, if you keep stopping to ask questions or forget who it is, then obviously, you won’t give the impression that you’re a good listener. It’s not necessary to remember every little detail, but you also shouldn’t let the person you talk to feel like they have to repeat it a million times.

Stay tuned for the story. Another important point of a good listener is that don’t just listen to people talk and then stop thinking about it next time, do more. If you really want to show that you care, the next time you and the person are alone, ask them about the last time, or even initiate texting or calling to see how things are going. If it’s a serious matter like a divorce, a job search or even a health complication, it’s good to show you care by asking, even if it’s not asked. However, don’t be offended if the other person doesn’t want to, accept their decision, but also tell them that you are always there to help them.

• The person you’re talking to may be touched if you really think about them even when you’re not seeing each other and even ask how they’re doing. This takes your listening skills to the next level.
• Of course, there is a difference between grasping the situation and nagging people. If a person tells you she’s about to quit, don’t text her every day asking if she’s quit, because you’re putting unnecessary pressure on the person and making things worse. stress, instead of helping.

Know your limits. To be a good listener, knowing what to avoid is just as helpful as knowing what to do. If you want the speaker to take you seriously and think you’re respecting them, you should avoid these common things:

• Do not interrupt while others are speaking.
• Do not question the speaker. Instead, gently ask questions when needed (i.e. in between gaps or pauses when the other person says nothing).
• Don’t try to change the subject, even if you’re a little annoyed.
• Avoid saying “It’s not that bad” or “You’ll feel better tomorrow morning.” Doing so just trivializes the other person’s problem and makes them feel bad. Make eye contact with the person so they can see that you’re interested and listening.