How to Kiss Someone’s Hand

The hand-kiss scene in movies and novels is so polite and sweet, but is it even in real life today? Very good question! This often depends on the local situation and culture, but there are definitely some general rules to keep in mind the next time you’re planning to kiss someone’s hand. We’ve gathered here the most frequently asked questions about hand kissing conventions to help you.

Table of Contents

What is the right hand kiss convention?

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Gently touch your lips to the back of the person’s hand. Take the other person’s hand with one or both hands and lift it slightly. It’s best to be cautious by only touching the center of the back of their hand with your lips once. If they seem uncomfortable, next time don’t kiss their hand. ^{[1] X Research Source}

The traditional hand kiss will be very light, almost like a kiss on the wind.
Maybe you will surprise the other person, because today not many people kiss hands anymore. It’s hard to know how someone will react when they’re taken by surprise, so be careful!

Who will take the initiative when kissing hands?

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According to traditional convention, the woman will take the initiative by extending her hand for the other to kiss. In the US, kissing hands is now considered obsolete. In Europe, this gesture is also no longer popular but has not completely disappeared, especially among the upper classes. Elegant old ladies in Europe may still reach out for a kiss, but this situation is also rare. ^{[2] X Research Source}

You may be seen as a bit arrogant or weird to reach out your hand for a kiss when meeting someone, especially in the US.

Nowadays, the kisser is usually the one who takes the initiative. In America, almost no one reaches out their hand for a kiss. In Europe, men can take the initiative to kiss a woman’s hand as it is still customary in some regions. ^{[3] X Research Sources}

For example, if you are a woman going to the theater to see a musical in Vienna, a gentleman may kiss your hand as a courtesy. This gesture is traditional and respectful. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

Can you kiss a woman’s hand?

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If you get to know that woman and think she likes it, that’s fine. If you’ve never met the woman before, it’s a little risky. Some American women find the hand-kiss gesture lovely and seductive, while others find it too old-fashioned, even sexist. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

If you are an American man in Europe and have never kissed hands, do not rush to learn this habit. Just afraid you will look clumsy doing so. ^{[6] X Research Source}

Is it weird for a woman to kiss a man’s hand?

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Traditionally, women never kissed a man’s hand, unless it was a royal gentleman. But what about today? Gender roles are no longer the same. If you are a woman and want to kiss the hand of another man or woman, give it a try! The only thing you need to remember is that not everyone reacts well to outdated practices. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

If it’s your lover then gender roles really don’t mean anything. Usually he will find this gesture very endearing.

What does kissing hand gesture mean?

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Kissing hands is often an expression of romantic affection or admiration. ^{[8] X Research Sources} This style is pretty old fashioned, so if a guy kisses your hand on a first date, he must have an old-fashioned chivalrous air. If your lover holds your hand and kisses it, it is a gesture of love and admiration. ^{[9] X Research Source}

If that old chivalry isn’t your type, just gently tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and remember to smile so he won’t be embarrassed.
In America, there’s no reason to kiss someone’s hand in a purely social situation, except for fun.

Is there any other meaning in kissing hands?

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In some parts of France, kissing is merely a greeting. It is not uncommon for a European man to kiss a woman’s hand, especially an elderly one. If this is the case in Europe, you should join the customary membership, because this is the normal custom. If in the US a European man is about to kiss your hand, you can just let it go, or politely let them know that it’s a little weird in the US. ^{[10] X Research Source}

Kissing hands as a way of greeting can still be maintained in European countries such as Italy, Spain and Austria. ^{[11] X Research Source}

According to ancient tradition, kissing hands is a rite of respect for those of higher status. For example, in the United Kingdom, it is very common for subjects to kneel and kiss the hand of a king or queen. In Catholicism, the papal ring is a tradition that is still maintained. In Europe, women are used to offering their hands to men of “lower” status to kiss their hands. ^{[12] X Research Source}

For example, it was customary for men to kiss the hands of noble women in the 17th and 18th centuries.

Steps