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This article was co-written by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a licensed professional counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,638 times.
Crying is a natural instinct. This is one of the first actions of an infant and people will not stop doing it throughout life. Crying can help you express your feelings to others, and some studies have even shown that it helps signal that you need support from the community. [1] X Research Source Crying can also be an emotional or behavioral response to something you see, hear, or think. At times, you may feel like you need to “cry to your heart’s content”. This is quite natural, completely normal and will probably bring some relief to you. However, excessive crying can be physically stressful, increasing heart rate and breathing rate. The feeling of wanting to stop crying when you’re upset is understandable. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to stop crying.
Steps
Solve The Cause That Makes You Cry
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Use deep breathing to calm yourself down. This can be quite difficult to do while you’re sobbing, but you should do your best to breathe deeply (through your nose if possible), hold your breath for 7 counts, and exhale slowly. in 8 beats. Do this breathing exercise 5 times. [2] X Source of Research If you cry too much, you may end up short of breath, and this is a pretty scary experience if you’re experiencing anxiety. You should try to do deep breathing exercises a few times per day, or at times when you feel stressed.
- Taking long, deep breaths can help you control hyperventilation, lower your heart rate, improve blood circulation in your body, and reduce stress. [3] X Research Sources[4] X Research Sources
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Identify negative or sad thoughts. [5] X Research Resources Sometimes, you just want to keep crying because you’re having sad or negative thoughts. Perhaps, you will think about something like “He left me forever”, or “I have no one…”. In this moment, identifying inappropriate thoughts will make things worse, but this is the first step to helping you regain control of your thoughts and tears.
- If you are unable to do this, you should reconsider your thoughts at that moment when you have stopped crying.
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Write down what makes you sad. If you’re too sad to write a complete sentence, you can write about anything, messily, or even scribble. Just make a list of random sentences, write a word out loud, or fill the page with emotional words. The goal here is to put your feelings and thoughts on paper and free your mind a bit. You can look back and discuss them later when your mood has stabilized.
- For example, you could write about something very simple such as “It was heavy”, “Painful, betrayed, offended”. Writing about what’s bothering you can also help you build a conversation with the person who’s hurting you. [6] X Research Sources
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Distract yourself physically. To break the cycle of negative thinking, try to distract yourself by tensing your muscles or holding an ice cube in your hand or against your neck. [7] X Sources of Research[8] X Sources of Research Ideally, you should redirect your attention away from your thoughts long enough for you to re-establish your composure.
- You can also use music as a distraction. Swing your body to focus on yourself and soothe your body. Singing along to the music will also help you regain control over your breathing and help you focus on something else.
- Take a walk. A change of scenery during a walk can help you stop thinking negatively. Physical activity will also help recalibrate your breathing and heart rate.
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Change posture. Facial expressions and posture influence our mood. If you find yourself frowning or stooping in defeat, it will make you feel more negative. If possible, you should try to change it. Stand with your back straight and put your hands on your sides (hands on hips) or try to do the “lion face-lemon face” technique (roughly translated as the face of a lion and face when eating a lemon), which means form the facial expression when you’re ready to “roar” like a lion and then pucker your lips in sourness like when you eat a lemon. [9] X Research Source[10] X Research Source
- Changing your posture will help you break the cycle of crying long enough for you to calm down.
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Do progressive muscle relaxation exercises. This is a method where you will stretch and relax many different parts of the body. Start by tensing your muscles as much as you can for about 5 seconds while inhaling air into your lungs. Then, quickly release the tension as you exhale. Next is to relax the facial muscles. [11] X Research Source Next is neck tension and relaxation. Work your way up to your chest, hands, etc. and finally to your feet.
- Do this regularly to prevent pent-up stress. [12] X Research Source
- This exercise will help you become more aware of the area that is under tension when you cry too much.
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Remember that “This is only a temporary problem”. While these moments will make you feel like they go on forever, you should remember that things pass, not last forever. This measure will help you form a more optimistic outlook.
- Splash cold water on your face. The cold of the water can make you stop thinking about the sad moment for a few minutes to regain control of your breathing. Cold water will also be quite helpful in dealing with puffiness (such as puffy eyes) that occurs in some places after you’ve cried too much.
Consider and Prevent Crying
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Ask yourself if crying is becoming a problem for you. Do you feel as if you have cried too much? While this is a subjective number, on average, women cry 5.3 times per month and men will cry 1.3 times, but this will vary from tearful to sobbing. . [13] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source However, you don’t necessarily need to base your review on this number when you’re constantly crying because of a life event that is emotionally related. emotions, such as a breakup with a loved one, the death of a loved one, or other major events. When mourning is slowly spiraling out of control and affecting your personal or professional life, you need to work on solving the problem.
- It’s easy to feel confused and caught up in a whirlpool of sad and negative thoughts during this emotional climax.
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Think about why you are crying. If something happens in your life that causes you stress or anxiety, you will cry more often. For example, if you are grieving the death of a loved one or the end of a romantic relationship, crying is another normal and understandable action. However, sometimes life gets too confusing and you find that you cry without knowing why.
- In this case, excessive crying could be a sign of something more serious, such as depression or anxiety. If you frequently cry for no reason, feel sad, helpless, or irritable, are in pain or have trouble eating, have trouble sleeping, or are thinking about suicide, you may be suffering from depression. [14] X Trusted Source Mayo Clinic Go to the source You should see your doctor to learn about the right treatment.
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Identify triggers for crying. You should try to be aware of situations that make you want to cry and write them down. [15] X Research Source When did this happen? Are there specific days, situations, or circumstances that make you cry so hard? Was there something that triggered this process?
- For example, if listening to a particular band reminds you of your ex, you should remove them from your playlist and avoid listening to music that might remind you of that person. Same goes for images, scents, locations, etc. If you don’t want to deal with these sad reminders, you can completely stay away from them for a while.
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Write diary. Write about any negative thoughts and ask yourself if they make sense. Similarly, you should consider whether your concept is appropriate and realistic. [16] X Research Source Remember to be kind to yourself. A good way to do this is to list any achievements or factors that make you happy. Think of your journal as a journal of something you’re grateful for. [17] X Research Source
- Try to reread the diary every day. When you feel like crying, reread everything you’ve written and remind yourself of what makes you happy. [18] X Research Sources
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Self appraisal. Ask yourself, “How can I deal with conflict?”. Do you often react with anger? Tear? Ignore it? If you allow conflict to build up by letting it go, you may end up crying over it. Awareness of how to respond to conflict will help you identify the right countermeasures.
- Don’t forget to ask yourself, “Who is in control?” You should try to regain control in your life so that you can change the outcome of things. For example, instead of saying that “That teacher was terrible and made me fail the exam”, admit that you didn’t study hard and you got a bad grade as a result. Next time, you should focus on studying and accept the results. .
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Understand how thoughts affect your emotions and behaviors. If you regularly think about negative things, you may be harboring unhealthy emotions. You will even return to negative, sad memories that happened in the past, and this is the reason why you can’t stop crying. [19] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to source This action will develop harmful behavior, including prolonged crying. Once you become aware of the influence of thoughts you possess, you can begin to change them to build a more positive situation. [20] X Research Source
- For example, if you keep thinking, “I’m not good enough,” you’ll start to feel hopeless or insecure. [21] X Research Source You should learn how you can stop this thought process before it affects your emotional well-being.
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Seek help. You can share with close friends or family members what is bothering you. You can give them a call or ask if they have time to go out for coffee with you. If you feel you can’t talk to anyone, call the Young People’s Talk hotline (1900 599 830). [22] X Research Source
- If you find yourself crying more and more often and you need help, a counselor can help. They will develop a plan to help you regain control of your thoughts and deal with them appropriately.
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Understand professional therapy. You can consult your doctor, check the phone book, or ask a friend to recommend a counselor or therapist that’s right for you. [23] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to the resource A counselor or therapist will proceed to ask questions about why you need treatment. You could say something like, “I find that I cry often and I want to know why this is happening to me and how to control it.” Or simply reply with “I’m sad”. The counselor will continue to ask questions about your experience and medical history. [24] X Trusted Source Simply Psychpogy Go to Source
- Your therapist will work with you to discuss the goals of your treatment and then develop a plan to achieve them.
Advice
- When you feel the urge to cry, ask yourself, “Should I cry? Am I in a situation where I can absolutely cry?”. Sometimes, crying is good for you and you will feel better, but it may not be the right course of action in all circumstances.
- To prevent yourself from bursting into tears in public, raise your eyebrows as high as possible, as if you’re surprised. This way, the tears won’t fall out. Yawning, or chewing ice cubes can also be quite helpful.
- Crying too much will also dehydrate the body and lead to headaches. After relaxing, you should drink a full glass of water.
- If you need to calm down, moisten a washcloth with warm water and place it on your neck. When you’re completely calm, dip a washcloth in cold water and place it over your eyes or forehead so you can fall asleep and feel better.
- Crying is a fairly normal act to vent out your emotions. You should go somewhere where you can be alone and calm down.
- Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers about what’s bothering you. You should share with someone who can give you fresh perspective.
- Talk to yourself in a calm, relaxing voice.
- Hug your pet. Animals won’t be able to give you advice, but they won’t judge you either.
- Do not stop writing about your thoughts. When you have a negative thought, ask yourself probing questions to gauge your thinking. Take steps to regain control of your thoughts.
- Sometimes, the best way is to cry, you can’t hold it back forever. You need to cry to vent all your worries before your emotions “explode”. Cry with a loved one, a friend, or someone close to you: so you can feel more at ease.
- Tell yourself that you will be fine no matter what the situation is and know full well that people are always there to help you.
- Share with a good listener what’s bothering you.
X
This article was co-written by Paul Chernyak, LPC. Paul Chernyak is a licensed professional counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
There are 20 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,638 times.
Crying is a natural instinct. This is one of the first actions of an infant and people will not stop doing it throughout life. Crying can help you express your feelings to others, and some studies have even shown that it helps signal that you need support from the community. [1] X Research Source Crying can also be an emotional or behavioral response to something you see, hear, or think. At times, you may feel like you need to “cry to your heart’s content”. This is quite natural, completely normal and will probably bring some relief to you. However, excessive crying can be physically stressful, increasing heart rate and breathing rate. The feeling of wanting to stop crying when you’re upset is understandable. Fortunately, there are a few things you can do to stop crying.
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