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Starting a conversation with someone is probably one of the most difficult parts of communication. You can immediately start a conversation with some people, but for others it is as difficult as going to heaven. But don’t worry — there are lots of ways you can start a good conversation with anyone and a lot of tips to help you strike up a conversation with specific people. Please read and try to follow the steps below.
Steps
Start a conversation
- Make the person feel that their thoughts are important. If they start talking about a certain topic, ask some questions around that topic instead of talking about what you want.
- Once you know the name, use it once or twice.
- If the person talks first, nod attentively to show you’re listening.
- If you realize you’re asking too many questions, joke about it. You can say, “I’m sorry — this is the end of our interview!” and move on to another topic.
- Ask the person about their hobbies or interests, not about their dreams or desires.
- Talk about something interesting. Don’t ask the person what he or she thinks of the recent news disaster or if they’ve been working overtime lately. Get them interested in the topic of the conversation as well as the conversation itself.
- Make sure you share too. Ideally, you and the other person share to the same extent.
- Use wit to get other people’s attention. Be quick and play with words, tell jokes and jokes.
- If you have a favorite joke, tell it, as long as it’s short. Don’t tell a long story that you’ve never told anyone before or you’ll end up miserable.
- Make sure your question is open enough. Don’t ask others questions like what they think about the meaning of life; Instead, ask them what they think about the way the Vietnamese football team played last season, for example.
- You also need to know when a conversation isn’t going very well. If someone just answered yes or no to a question they should have shared more of, they probably aren’t interested in talking to you.
- Do not share information that is too personal. You shouldn’t talk about your painful breakup, your weird red rash on your back, or your confusion over whether someone really loves you. Share these with someone really close to you.
- Don’t ask about things that might make it difficult for the speaker to answer. Let the person talk about their loved one, their profession, or their health. But don’t ask if they’re dating anyone, maybe they just broke up and are still suffering.
- Don’t just talk about yourself. While sharing interesting things and some personal information about yourself can make the person talking to you more comfortable, if you keep talking about how great you are or the next morning What you will eat will quickly make that person lose interest.
- Concentrate. Don’t forget the person’s name, occupation or important information they shared after just five minutes. This will make them feel like you don’t care about them at all. When they introduce the name, you can repeat it out loud to remember.
Start conversations in different situations
- If you’re at a party, you might talk about the music that’s playing. The two of you will have something to discuss — it doesn’t matter whether you both hate or like music.
- If you meet him at a bar, you can ask him to recommend a drink. Then you can offer a few compliments if you like, or tease the person if their suggestion doesn’t suit your taste.
- Talk about your partner’s hobbies in his spare time. Don’t be too rushed, ask her what she usually likes to do on the weekends.
- Don’t talk about your job. It’s just that talking about work doesn’t seem very interesting, you can talk about this later.
- Make fun of that person. If the weather is quite hot and she is wearing a sweater, you can gently tease her about her fashion sense, for example.
- Talk about pets. Everyone loves to talk about their pets, if you have a pet you can even show off some pictures of them together.
- Show positivity. Don’t say self-deprecating things or complain; Start with a positive story, such as talking about the achievements of your local sports team (if you think the person likes sports) or your favorite bar or restaurant.
- Talk about where you live. People are often proud of where they live and what they love to do there, so if you live in the same place, you can talk about how great it is. Then you can talk more privately and share about the places you used to live.
- Ask the person what he or she likes to do for fun. You will probably find many similarities with each other.
- Don’t talk about yourself too much. Make sure you talk about yourself to the same extent and that after you talk you can get to know the person better.
- If you have mutual friends, you can ask him/her how he or she knows that person. You may find funny stories about someone you both know.
- Ask about family. Everyone likes to talk about their family, so you can ask how his/her family is doing these days. Your co-workers may show you photos and share more than you think.
- Talk about plans for the weekend. If you work together, both you and your co-workers are sure to look forward to leaving work on a Friday afternoon and doing something fun to relax on over the weekend. He’ll happily share his plans if you’re not too inquisitive.
- Connected by common annoyances. You might complain about traffic, a broken photocopier, or a lack of whipped cream in the kitchen, and the two of you might shake your head and start a fun conversation.
- Don’t talk too much about work. Unless you’re starting a conversation with a colleague because you need to ask something related to work, show who you are and talk about friends, family, and hobbies instead of projects or reports. Build a closer relationship outside of work.
- Make fun of yourself. This is a great strategy, especially when you’re starting a conversation with people who know you but don’t know everyone else well. Let people laugh or tease you and eventually they will bond with each other.
- Try to target everyone instead of just one or two people. If you only focus on one person clearly when talking, the others will feel redundant.
- Talking about hateful things is also a good way to start a conversation because everyone hates something. That’s why you can start by telling a story about one of the things that annoys you, and people are sure to follow.
- Think of the things everyone in the group has in common and elicit them. You don’t have to be too sophisticated to do this. You can say things like, “Hey, both of you are Arsenal fans — did you guys watch the game last night?”.
Advice
- Imagine a conversation like a seesaw. Both participants need to share equally, so don’t dwell on a boring topic to avoid making others uncomfortable. If the person you’re talking to keeps talking, then speak up for it. You will be happier if you can actively participate in the conversation.
- Pay attention to the tone. When you talk, you should speak at a moderate level, neither gently nor too loud.
- Consider what you might say before starting a conversation. This will save you from boring conversations.
- Don’t try to dominate the conversation, give the other person a chance to open up to you.
- Avoid using questions with only “yes or no” answers. Instead, use questions that require more thought and explanation.
Warning
- When asking people who are not your best friends personal questions, don’t ask too personal questions. Ask questions like: ‘What are you going to do this holiday?’ ‘What do you buy at the mall?’, ‘Where is your house?’ or ‘How is your family’?.
- Don’t talk about things that might embarrass or embarrass others as they may be quiet and/or shy.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 32 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 12,134 times.
Starting a conversation with someone is probably one of the most difficult parts of communication. You can immediately start a conversation with some people, but for others it is as difficult as going to heaven. But don’t worry — there are lots of ways you can start a good conversation with anyone and plenty of tips to help you strike up a conversation with specific people. Please read and try to follow the steps below.
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