How to Cope Without Friends

Indulge yourself. A good self-care regimen can improve your mood and help you relax. Set aside at least once a week to take care of and relax your body. ^[10]

• Take care of yourself with any activity that nourishes your mind, body, or soul, such as eating healthy foods, exercising, getting enough sleep, or being in nature.
• You can also pamper yourself with activities like massages, facials, manicures or a new hairstyle.

Practice active inner monologue. It’s easy to fall into self-pity about not having friends. You might think, “I’m useless” or “No one will ever love me”. Such thoughts are not only wrong but also counterproductive. Positive inner monologue means saying nice things to yourself and fighting negative thoughts with something positive. ^[11]

• If you suddenly feel a voice in your head saying, “no one likes me”, think of those family members to whom you are wonderful! You might be saying to yourself, “Wait, that’s not it. I have a whole family that loves me wholeheartedly.”
• List qualities that can make you a good friend, such as being available when people need help. Reread the list every time you start to feel worthless.

Build a positive outlook . It may be difficult at first, but there are always good things around. It is easy for people to see all the bad things in this world and often have a negative view. Be grateful for the things that happen in this moment, such as the sunshine or the health you have.

• Write a gratitude journal. At the end of the day, write in your gratitude journal three good things that happened that day. After a while, you may find that things are not as bad as you think. ^[12]
• Instead of just focusing on lonely thoughts, focus on wishing the best for others! Try smiling brightly at the people you meet on the street. Maybe you’ll get the smiles back. ^[13]

Write diary. Journaling is a great way to interact with your thoughts and understand their impact on how you feel and behave. Daily journaling will also give you the necessary moments to slow down and reflect on your life and values. Journaling is also a great place to set goals for the future and how to achieve them. ^[14]

• Every six months, try re-reading your diary to feel your growth and change.

Exercise regularly. Staying physically active can give you a higher sense of well-being and help you feel better about yourself. Being healthy not only improves your mood and outlook, but also gives you a more balanced physique. Step outside, go for a walk, or simply enjoy the sun and fresh air for a few minutes a day. ^[15]

• You can also sign up for a class at the gym or recreation center. That way you can both beautify your body and meet new friends!

Behave well with everyone. Kindness always brings long-term benefits. You may feel rejected and angry at life, but such an attitude will only push people away. Try to be understanding, kind and tolerant of the people you meet every day. If you are kind and positive, you will have a better chance of attracting other kind people to you. ^[16]

• Smile at strangers, hold the door for an old woman to follow, or help a child find a lost ball.

Go see a consultant. Sometimes, you need a little support to open up to new friendships. Negative thoughts and feelings can be signs of problems that require professional help. Also, if you have difficulty communicating, it could be a sign of social anxiety, shyness, or another problem. A counselor can help you work through problems so you become more confident in making friends. ^[17]

Spend time with family. Your friends may be living with you under one roof – they are your family members! Family can be great friends, even if you don’t think so. Spend good time with your parents and siblings or visit them whenever possible. Family is a huge resource and can help you get through tough times, even if you don’t think so. ^[18]

• Create a new and exciting family routine, such as spending a weekly game night or every Friday going to the cinema and eating pizza!

Pet. While pets can’t replace people, they have a reputation for being loyal, great friends, stress relievers, and fun. You can go to an animal shelter to adopt a dog or cat. Plus, pets can help you make new friends! You’ll have an excuse to go outside and chat with other pet owners on the street or in the park. ^[19]

Chat with others . You know how many people around you have the potential to become your friends, but you probably don’t know how to reach and connect with them. Anyway, starting a conversation can be scary sometimes. But don’t doubt yourself – you will! Take a deep breath and ask a stranger about themselves or comment on the things around them. The golden key here is that people often like to talk about themselves and the things they care about, so look for clues that can help you get them talking. ^[20]

• For example, when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store and you see a boy standing in front of you playing a game on your phone, you might say, “You sound good at this game. What is the goal of this game?”
• Try to ask open-ended questions that require the other person to give a detailed answer instead of just answering “yes” or “no.”
• A good open-ended question might be, “Is surfing your favorite sport? So what do you like most about this subject?

Put yourself in social situations. When you’re feeling lonely or unsure of your friends skills, your natural reaction may be to turn down invitations to parties or other activities. However, such events can be extremely valuable opportunities to make friends. You may be nervous, but muster up the courage to talk, go to a party at work, or celebrate your cousin’s baby. Your adventure will be rewarded with new friends! ^[21]

• You can love people more just by seeing them around you – this psychological phenomenon called the mere exposure effect. Look for places with a lot of people, like coffee shops, and go there often. Maybe you will become friends with the staff in the shop or the patrons of the restaurant!

Be optimistic when interacting with others. People are often drawn to people who radiate positive energy. Teach yourself to always speak well of others. Bad gossip – even if it’s just fun sometimes – won’t make you good friends. And don’t forget to smile! You will naturally seem more friendly and likable. ^[22]

• People often like people who can make them feel good, so encourage them and give them sincere compliments.
• You might say, “I admire you, you go to the charity house every week to volunteer. Can you tell me about that job?”

Pursue hobbies with others. You can be more upbeat and have a more positive outlook around people. If you choose to play a sport or hobby, attend club events, sports festivals, and competitions. While at those events, you will meet people with similar interests as you. Starting a conversation is easy – you just have to start chatting about what everyone has in common!

• Don’t be afraid to join a club you’ve never tried before, like an improv or bowling club. Chances are you meet many people who are just as inexperienced as you are, and maybe you can bond through trials and “silly” mistakes.
• Take it easy if you feel hesitant. Just don’t let your fear of rejection stop you from connecting with great friends with similar interests. ^[23]

Find like-minded friends online. It may take some time to find friends in the area, but you can easily find many people online who share your thoughts, ideas, and passions. Online friendships are not as close as in real life and often do not completely relieve loneliness. Still, it’s a great way to feel connected and fill your time. ^[24]

• Just don’t let your online friends stop you from making friends in real life, and be careful when meeting or communicating with anyone you meet online.