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Infidelity in a relationship is what destroys each other’s trust. If you’ve been planning to cheat on that person, whether you think things will work out or not, you should first think carefully about whether you still want to keep this love. Maybe you’ve fallen out of love with this person, or you’re not interested in a monogamous relationship at the moment; Either way, the best thing you can do right now is break up with the person before you cheat on them. However, if you’ve really decided you’re going to have an affair, here are steps you can take to both hide your behavior and distract your partner if they’re suspicious.
Steps
Keeping the affair a secret
- You may think you can hide everything; Even if that’s the case, studies have shown that lying to others results in heightened feelings of shame and guilt for your behavior. [2] X Sources Fisher, Maryanne, et al. “Sex Differences In Feelings Of Guilt Arising From Infidelity.” Evputionary Psychpogy 6.3 (2008): 436-446. Academic Search Complete. Web. 2 Mar. 2015.
- While many couples are able to work through problems together when the affair comes to light, many other couples fall apart due to a lack of trust in each other. [3] X Research Sources Allen, Elizabeth S., and David C. Atkins. “The Association Of Divorce And Extramarital Sex In A Representative US Sample.” Journal Of Family Issues 33.11 (2012): 1477-1493. Academic Search Complete. Web. 2 Mar. 2015.
- Most importantly, you should consider the pain your partner has to go through when he finds out you’re cheating. If you’re not ready to accept your role in the pain, stop lying to them.
- The aftershocks of the affair can haunt the person in their later relationships, negatively affecting their ability to find happiness even after leaving you.
- When your actions are exposed, you will most likely lose the respect of your friends and family, and that is a very tragic consequence. Try to live up to the expectations people have for you.
- If you are really unhappy with your current relationship, you should have a frank discussion with your partner to improve the situation together or end things so that you can love someone else.
- However, if you still have the intention of “expanding”, you should consider the points written below.
- Create a new email address for third party communication only. Don’t tell anyone about it, and don’t use it for anything but an extramarital affair.
- If you use this email address as a secondary account to receive news or spam, everything will become normal too. You should be a little cautious when using this account.
- This way you will remember to log out after each use of it.
- Only write to third parties through this account, never use your main account.
- Always keep your primary email account signed in on your computer as usual, so a second person can get in when they get suspicious and start looking for clues. They won’t find anything there.
- Don’t delete the entire browser history as that will look suspicious – no one leaves the browser history blank.
- Instead, browse through your web history and manually delete suspicious sites as soon as you’re done with them.
- If you use a popular browser, chances are they already have a private mode available to you. Safari [4] X Research Source , Chrome [5] X Research Source , Firefox [6] X Research Source , Opera [7] X Research Source and Explorer [8] X Research Source both allow you to surf the web without leaving any trace on the computer.
- Websites still know your IP address when you visit. As a result, you’ll still see ads tailored to you based on your “private” browsing sessions. [9] X Research Source
- To avoid being reported by those ads, make sure you close all privacy windows when you’re done using them. This will delete all cookies that bring up suspicious advertisements.
- Think of a plausible and believable explanation for the sudden lockdown. You could say that someone at work turned on their phone and discovered private photos of the two of you, or that they sent a group message to everyone on their contact list.
- If that person knows your unlock code, it will be very suspicious if you suddenly ask for privacy. Don’t try to change your password, but don’t use your phone to do suspicious things either.
- If you need to contact a third person by phone, use private browsing mode to log in to your “adultery” email account. Always remember to log out and close your private browsing window to clear all cookies when you’re done.
- If you have a prepaid cell phone, be extremely careful not to get caught.
- Prepare an excuse in advance in case the person finds out. You could say it’s a coworker’s phone that you left at work that you haven’t brought over to their house on the way home.
- Buy your own condom when sleeping with your partner.
- Buy small packs of condoms or buy them individually instead of using the whole box, so you won’t be detected with condoms in your car.
- Throw out all unused condoms before you get home instead of storing them somewhere.
Cast away doubts
- Don’t laugh maliciously and don’t make fun of the person for doubting you.
- You just have to act surprised or bewildered when you hear them say it, as if you didn’t expect your behavior to make the other person suspicious.
- Tell them you’re sorry they felt this way and that you didn’t know you made them feel so insecure.
- Allow them to voice their concerns and be a good listener – don’t interrupt or become defensive.
- Pay attention to their specific suspicions as they will help you see where you went wrong.
- Enthusiasm for a radical change in behavior will make you look like you’re acting or you have something to hide. Don’t change too drastically.
- You just need to change enough to show that you’re working to maintain trust in the relationship.
Advice
- After all, the best way to stay undetected is not to cheat in the first place. Remember, if you can’t be honest, you might be better off with an uncommitted love life or more open relationships.
Warning
- Infidelity will cause the relationship to fall apart. If you want to stay with your partner, don’t cheat on them.
- Adultery will cause a serious crisis of emotions for the other person if they catch this incident. Chances are you don’t really “dislike” the person. If you can’t think for them, instead of cheating, you should end the marriage when you no longer feel happy.
- The aftermath of your affair can haunt your partner in their later relationships. Don’t destroy their trust. It’s easier to get over a breakup than a betrayal.
- Even if the two of you are still together after this affair, it will take a lot of work to rebuild trust. This relationship may never be the same again.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 59 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
There are 9 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 119,886 times.
Infidelity in a relationship is what destroys each other’s trust. If you’ve been planning to cheat on that person, whether you think things will work out or not, you should first think carefully about whether you still want to keep this love. Maybe you’ve fallen out of love with this person, or you’re not interested in a monogamous relationship at the moment; Either way, the best thing you can do right now is break up with the person before you cheat on them. However, if you’ve really decided you’re going to have an affair, here are steps you can take to both hide your behavior and distract your partner if they’re suspicious.
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