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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 25,920 times.
A real hug shouldn’t be too rigid, forced, or intimidating. All it takes to be able to really hug someone is a sincere desire to hug them. Men don’t expect movement or technique, they just need you to really pay attention to the hug. You don’t have to be sexy, shy, or feel special, just wrap your arms around them and hold them for a few seconds.
Steps
Hug The Other In A Romantic Way
- Wrap one arm behind your opponent’s back, just above the waist. Place another hand around your opponent’s neck and place your fingers between your opponent’s neck and shoulders.
- Gently put your left hand on the left (or right) side of his neck. If you want to be more romantic, you can gently run your hand through his hair.
- Place your hand gently on the other person’s chest, wrapping the other arm around the waist. [2] X Research Source
- Use your fingers to gently rub his back, neck, or chest to show more warmth.
- Pull his head down with a kiss if appropriate or if both of you want more than a hug.
- If you feel him gently push away, don’t try to hold him any tighter. Go with your emotions and let things happen naturally.
- There is no right time for a hug, you just have to feel it and enjoy it. [3] X Research Sources
Hug a Male Friend
- Be flexible – if the other person doesn’t seem to want a hug, don’t hug them. If they want a hug, or you’re not sure, just be yourself and do what you want. Very few guys complain about a casual hug.
- Open your arms as wide as you feel. You are free to extend your arms if you want an open hug.
- If your partner doesn’t seem to want a hug, you can hug him across the back. Move to his side and put your arm around his shoulders. A one-handed hug can save you many embarrassing moments.
- Don’t think about yourself too much while hugging someone. That will make you feel awkward. Instead, focus on the person you’re hugging and try to enjoy the moment.
- Just smile if things go wrong and you feel awkward. Hugs aren’t complicated signals or bonding rituals – it’s just a way of greeting someone cordially. Don’t speculate too much.
Know The Moment When to Hug
- This is an effective way to extinguish the “what should I do” moment. Just put your arm around, give it a quick hug and then stand up straight again.
- In business or work situations.
- The first time you meet your opponent.
- When you’re not sure about the limit he’s set
- If you don’t know/feel unsafe about local or international custom.
- If he smiles, make eye contact, and if all goes well you can give him a hug when you say goodbye.
- Waving quickly and smiling from a distance is often a good way to determine if the other person wants to hug you or not. If he responds in a friendly way, move on.
- If you really, really don’t want to hug them, give them a big smile and say something like, “It’s great to see you, let me shake your hand.” [5] X Research Sources
Advice
- Above all, be natural. As long as it feels natural, your body will be able to respond to your intentions, and you’ll have a better chance of conveying the true meaning of the hug.
- If you don’t feel comfortable hugging a guy or hugging in a particular situation, don’t force yourself to hug them.
- If you feel the hug is coming to an end and you want to be close to him, wrap your arms around his waist. Turn around so you can lean slightly against him and choose whether you want to touch him with your upper body or lower body. Catch a glimpse of him and smile then rest your head on him. Any man would fall for that gesture and consider it a very seductive gesture.
Warning
- Understand that not everyone is good at hugging. If a male friend or relative feels uncomfortable hugging you, don’t push yourself towards them. Respecting their wishes is the best way to show your charm than trying to throw yourself into his arms.
- You also need to know when it’s inappropriate to hug a guy. In some cases, a guy may come from a culture that doesn’t accept men and women as friends. Or if your male friend already has a boyfriend, you should also keep your hugs as casual as possible.
- If you know he has feelings for you too, but you don’t feel the same way, avoid hugging too much as it can give him more hope.
This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 25,920 times.
A real hug shouldn’t be too rigid, forced, or intimidating. All it takes to be able to really hug someone is a sincere desire to hug them. Men don’t expect movement or technique, they just need you to really pay attention to the hug. You don’t have to be sexy, shy, or feel special, just wrap your arms around them and hold them for a few seconds.
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