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This article was co-written by Maria Avgitidis. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service company based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with today’s youth dating psychology and search techniques to ensure her clients find her. the other half. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in magazines and television channels such as The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 172,996 times.
Have you ever been asked out by someone you don’t have feelings for? Finding a way to politely decline an appointment can be difficult. Also, breaking up with someone you no longer want to date is not pleasant. You certainly don’t want to hurt others, but you also don’t want to put yourself in an awkward situation. Luckily, there are ways to turn someone down without offending them.
Steps
Politely decline an appointment
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Tell the truth. Sincerity is paramount. Lying means you don’t respect the other person. You should be honest when you don’t want to date someone. [1] X Research Source
- Sometimes it’s easy to be honest. For example, you could say outright, “Thanks for your invitation, but I’m sorry I already had an appointment with someone else to the party.”
- In other cases, you need to politely decline by speaking more easily. For example, when you don’t have feelings for that person. Instead of being curt, try saying, “Thanks for your love, but I don’t think we’re compatible.”
- Avoid using fake excuses. For example, don’t tell your crush that you’re going out this weekend. Unfortunately, if you meet that person at the movie theater, this will hurt them deeply.
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Use the “punch and rub” method. Punching and rubbing is an effective way to respond. It’s important that you weave a negative feedback in between two positives. Try this method when you need to say no to someone. [2] X Research Source
- An example of a punch and rub method is: “You are great. But unfortunately you and I are not suitable for dating. Someone else would be very lucky to date someone as amazing as you!”
- You can also say, “You’re such a nice person. I want us to be friends forever. I love it when we hang out with the group!”
- Be sincere. If you give inappropriate compliments, the person will realize the hypocrisy and feel hurt.
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Be frank. If you don’t want to date someone, it’s best to say what you think. Don’t go round and round. If you have a decision in mind, just say it out loud. [3] X Research Sources
- If someone wants to date you but you don’t, make it clear, but be tactful. Try to give a clear answer.
- You can speak clearly without hurting the other person. Try smiling and saying, “Thanks for your affection, but I don’t want to date right now.”
- Don’t talk around. If you want to decline an appointment, you don’t have to say, “Give me time to think.”
- It is best to flatly refuse. Don’t let others have hope and be disappointed. Avoid saying “Wait for me to review the calendar and reply to you”.
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Respect that person. Try to treat that person the way you want to be treated. This means that you should be careful with your words. Think carefully when giving your answer. [4] X Research Sources
- You can be silent for a moment and then answer. Perhaps you are also surprised and need time to organize your thoughts in your head.
- Say thanks. Being invited out by others is an honor. You can say, “I’m happy about that, but unfortunately I can’t accept it.”
- Don’t laugh. Many people laugh awkwardly in awkward situations. Try not to chuckle as it can hurt others.
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Efficiently communicate. Sometimes the problem is not what you say but how you say it. If you need to say no to someone, think about other factors besides words. Body language is also important. [5] X Research Sources
- Use appropriate tone of voice when speaking. Try to speak softly but firmly.
- Eye contact. This shows that you are serious, and also shows respect to the other person.
- If you are in public, try not to speak loudly. There’s no need to let people nearby know that you’re turning down an appointment.
End the relationship amicably
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Take responsibility for the breakup. Maybe you’re dating someone and it’s time to stop. There are many ways to politely decline someone. The first step is to have the courage to face the truth [6] X Research Source
- Don’t try to prolong the breakup. If you want to end the relationship, it’s best to do so.
- Don’t wait for him to say goodbye to you. It is easy to become selfish or avoid planning to break up and wait for the person to take the initiative to end the relationship.
- Making someone want to break up with you doesn’t mean you want to be good for them. This only adds to the burden on the person.
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Use compassion. Breaking up is a very painful thing. In addition, this is also very difficult to say. You should try to make things go smoothly by being tactful and polite. [7] X Research Sources
- Don’t play the blame game. You don’t have to say “I want to break up with you because you’re a bad guy!”
- However, you can express your thoughts. Just be sincere and constructive.
- For example, you could say, “I can’t continue dating you anymore. I’m really upset when you keep disrupting our plans without even telling me.”
- You can also say something easier to hear. For example, “Dating time with me was really great. But it’s time for me to stop.”
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Plan what you want to say. You get nervous if you have to turn someone down. Sometimes, planning can help reduce stress. Think about how you will open your mouth. [8] X Research Sources
- Think about the main ideas. For example, if you broke up because you don’t want to stay in the relationship, be sure to say it.
- Write brief content on paper. It helps to write down your thoughts. It will help you remember what you want to say.
- Think about other people’s feelings. Try different ways of saying no to see which sounds natural and genuine.
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Choose the right time. Every time I have to “have a serious talk” is very difficult. If you choose the right timing, you can make it easier to get things done. Consider the thoughts of others when choosing. [9] X Trusted Source Understood Go to Source
- Meet in person to say goodbye. You’ll probably want to send a text or email, but don’t. Talking directly will be more polite and respectful to the person.
- Avoid parting in crowded places. For example, don’t choose a friend’s birthday party for an important talk.
- Forewarn your intentions. Let the person know that you two need to have a serious talk. For example, “I wanted to tell you this, but you probably won’t like to hear it.”
- Consider making plans with a close friend or loved one later that day so you have emotional comfort if needed.
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Break up decisively. The end of a relationship makes you feel uncomfortable. You would think that it would be better for your partner to stop dating quietly. However, it is more effective to decide to end it definitively. [10] X Research Source
- Clear boundaries. You could try saying, “I think it’s best if we stop communicating altogether for a while.”
- Consider blocking the person on social media. As such, no one wants to follow each other’s Facebook or Instagram anymore.
- Don’t mislead. After a breakup, don’t flirt with your ex or make any plans with them.
Remember what is best for you
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Watch out for some warning signs. Being rejected can make the other person emotional. In fact, this can make them angry. If you need to turn someone down, you should know some warning signs. [11] X Research Source
- Your safety is the top priority. If you think rejecting someone might make them angry, try to stay safe.
- Another warning is their short temper. If you’ve seen the person lose their temper before, try rejecting them in public. This might sound weird, but you’ll be safe.
- Know when to leave. If your rejection angers the other person, don’t stand back and try to explain further. If the person starts yelling or becomes mean, end the conversation.
- If the person seems to be having issues with anger management, you can decline via email or text. This is an exception to the face-to-face rule.
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Put your feelings first. Turning someone down is not a pleasant experience. In fact, it can make you feel guilty. However, it’s important to remember that you should put your feelings first. [12] X Research Source
- Don’t just say “yes” to avoid saying no. Only accept appointments with people you have feelings for.
- Remember that your happiness is important. You don’t have to date someone you don’t like.
- Consider your intentions. Don’t let your friends influence your dating choices. Say “yes” or “disagree” in your own words.
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Ask a trusted person for advice. It can be awkward when you have to turn someone down. If you know someone who wants to ask you out but you don’t want to, ask for advice from someone else. For example, talk to a friend or relative you trust. [13] X Research Source
- Consider seeking advice from a sibling. They can help you think of an easy way to say no.
- Choose a friend you believe can keep a secret. You probably don’t want other people to know about the breakup before your lover.
- Be honest with your feelings. Try saying “I have to turn down someone, I’m so nervous.”
Advice
- Give a reason for your answer. The explanation will help ease the tension.
- Avoid talking. Don’t laugh with your friends about turning someone down.
- Eye contact. This shows respect.
- Try not to talk around, as this will only make the person feel excited or curious. Let’s get straight to the point.
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This article was co-written by Maria Avgitidis. Maria Avgitidis is the CEO & Matchmaker of Agape Match, a matchmaking service company based out of New York City. For over a decade, she has successfully combined four generations of family matchmaking tradition with today’s youth dating psychology and search techniques to ensure her clients find her. the other half. Maria and Agape Match have been featured in magazines and television channels such as The New York Times, The Financial Times, Fast Company, CNN, Esquire, Elle, Reuters, Vice and Thrillist.
There are 10 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 172,996 times.
Have you ever been asked out by someone you don’t have feelings for? Finding a way to politely decline an appointment can be difficult. Also, breaking up with someone you no longer want to date is not pleasant. You certainly don’t want to hurt others, but you also don’t want to put yourself in an awkward situation. Luckily, there are ways to turn someone down without offending them.
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