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This article was co-written by Sydney Axelrod. Sydney Axelrod is a life coach and owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC, a business that provides personal and professional development coaching services. Through one-on-one coaching, digital courses, and group workshops, Sydney helps clients discover their purpose, navigate life transitions, and set and accomplish goals. . Sydney has over 1000 hours of coaching and training and holds a bachelor’s degree in marketing and finance from Emory University.
There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,830 times.
Everyone goes through a moment when life seems so harsh or a moment when we feel like giving up is the only option. We think that, no matter how hard we try, we will never reach our goals or reach our dreams. It’s easy to surrender. However, if you’re feeling down, there are ways you can realign everything that’s important, refocus on your ambitions, and stay motivated. Don’t give up before trying something.
Steps
Dealing with Feelings of Surrender
- Rearrange your thoughts. Instead of thinking, “I didn’t get to do that play because I’m such a bad actor. Maybe I should give up,” take a hopeful approach, like “I guess I didn’t act like I did.” what the director wants. I’ll ask if he has any feedback on what I can practice more.”
- Even replacing thinking “I can’t,” with thinking, “This may not work, but I’ll try,” can have a positive effect. [2] X Research Source
- When you find yourself having a negative thought pattern, you should actively stop that thinking and correct it with something more positive. This takes practice, but if you keep it up, always looking for the good or the positive will become a habit. [3] X Research Sources
- For more help you can refer to some other articles on the wikiHow system.
- A counselor or therapist can help you learn new and optimistic ways of thinking.
- You can call the suicide prevention hotline at 1900599930 to contact the Psychological Crisis Center (PCP). Seek support from a trusted friend or family member, teacher, or counselor.
Set Clear Goals
- Try to figure out what’s most important to you. This can include children’s upbringing and things that stress parents, like money, looks, success, or education. For example, it can also reflect on what you’re doing, and whether you’re in the financial industry or for a nonprofit.
- Ask yourself what you want out of life. Do you want a good job, a sense of accomplishment, or do you want to help others? [7] X Research Sources
- Map out your goals, based on hierarchy, from the most important to the less important. Then, jot down any valuable things in your life that you think align behind these goals. Specifically, what motivates you to want to achieve them?
- Review your list of goals and compare them to your motivations. Is your motivation in opposition to that goal? Or do they go hand in hand?
- Tell yourself that you want to be a doctor, but your motivation is not to help people but to make a lot of money. Do you agree with that? Or do you feel unsatisfied with your job in the long run?
- For example, a short-term goal could be something like finishing your homework on time or passing a weekly oral exam. This will make it easier to reach your long-term goals, like getting good grades in trigonometry, passing applied math, or getting into a prestigious university.
- Rewrite the above goals one more time. Think not only about what you want to achieve in the future (long-term), but also how you will get there (short-term). Writing down some specific goals will help make them clearer and easier to understand.
- Always keep a list with you so you can review your progress over time, and then tick back. Checking the list from time to time will remind you of your goals and also allow you to track progress.
- Set high but achievable goals. Setting high goals will challenge and motivate you without setting yourself up for failure. For example, try to get a good score in the final exam without taking it seriously, but still be satisfied if you don’t get the maximum score.
- Set measurable goals. “Being the best” can be admirable, but it doesn’t work when applied to short- or long-term goals. You should be more specific. [10] X Research Source Tell yourself “This year, I want to lower my handicap on gpf and finish 18 holes with just 80 hits”.
- By achieving realistic goals, you will gain more confidence and reduce your fear of failure. [11] X Research Source
Pursue Pursuit
- Set learning goals. Tell yourself that you want to be a high school teacher. Your long-term goal is to get into university to get a bachelor’s degree in education, and possibly a teaching certification course. Even so, the short-term goal is that you can focus on getting good grades and the medium-term goal is to be admitted to take a class in a certain curriculum.
- Sports goals are similar. To become a top swimmer, you should break down your goal into chunks. First, try to work on and improve the number and strokes of freestyle, butterfly, and other strokes. Strive to hit the target for a local or regional swimming competition. Then, when the capacity has improved, rise to the city or even national level competition.
- Planning for each step and planning for each smaller part can lead to a big plan. Try to keep in mind the overall situation and how the individual pieces fit into the overall goal.
- Things don’t always turn out the way you want them to. Always be flexible. For example, just because you couldn’t pass a city swim competition in the past doesn’t mean you failed. Maybe that will open a new door for you like becoming a swimming coach, or close that chapter in your life. Or you can even change your training and diet and try again. Everyone reaches their peak at different times in life. So who knows, the next moment will be your glory.
- Being open to new experiences and skills will keep you flexible. Tell yourself that you have to have surgery to get into the pre-medical program. And you’ve never had surgery before! Instead of getting discouraged and giving up, take this opportunity to challenge yourself and learn something new.
- You need to make some small changes to move forward with your long-term plan. For example, when trying to get a bachelor’s degree, you may find that you are more passionate about educational research than teaching. You could be heading to graduate school, instead of becoming a high school teacher.
- Appreciate yourself every time you hit a milestone. For example, celebrate success with a day off, go to the movies, or pop the lid and enjoy champagne with a loved one.
- Even the small gesture of celebration can help increase your sense of goal accomplishment, self-esteem, and focus.
- Difficulties happen to everyone, and are common in everyday life, even among the most successful.
- Evaluate what happened. Tell yourself that you failed the final exam of the degree stage. Was it due to poor planning, preparation, presentation, or something beyond your control? Find out what went wrong and why. Then make the necessary adjustments.
- Apply what you learn for later. Tell yourself that you failed the “Pedagogy 101” plan in the curriculum because the material was too difficult – and too boring. Knowing this, you can reconsider your previous plans to attend graduate school.
Manage Stress and Anxiety
- A few close friends can be much better than many random new acquaintances.
- Spend time with friends and family, call, chat and keep them in your life. Just knowing that they are always by your side will be a blessing.
- Be ready to ask for help. Whether it’s chatting or asking for advice from someone, it’s a good idea to seek help from a loved one whenever you need it.
- You can also meet a peer-to-peer support group to find people with whom you can share your past and experiences. [16] X Research Source
- Focus on what you can control. We often face unexpected and unpredictable situations. So remind yourself that you’re just a human and can’t control everything.
- Sometimes, you should also encourage yourself. Anxiety is like any other feeling. You can tell yourself, “I’m worried, but I’ll do my best to deal with it.” [18] X Research Sources
- Look at things objectively. Avoid “tragic thinking” by reminding yourself of how anxious you are. For example, failing a placement test can be a bad thing, but it’s not the end of the world. Finishing last in a swimming competition can be disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. You still have health, life and people who love you.
- You know yourself and your mind best and know when to slow down. Try to keep yourself and your mind properly rested. Otherwise, your efforts will be less effective.
- There should be time to rest, whether you use that time to go on vacation, do yoga, swim, or relax on the weekend.
- Physical exercise releases endorphins, speeds up blood circulation to the brain, boosts energy, and improves mood. Try to spend about 30 minutes doing moderate exercise 5 times a week. [21] X Trusted Source Mental Health Foundation Go to Source
- Make sure you eat right. Eat regularly throughout the day to maintain blood sugar and energy levels, including breakfast, and include a varied menu of green vegetables, fruits, and whole grains with meals. [22] X Trusted Source Mental Health Foundation Go to Source
- Depression can be mild or chronic, and this depends on your environment, events, or even physical appearance. Symptoms include sadness, anxiety, feelings of emptiness or hopelessness, fatigue, and loss of interest in daily activities. The disease can even turn into pain all over the body.
- Consider talking to a counselor, therapist, or mental health professional. They can help you manage your depression with the right treatment plan.
This article was co-written by Sydney Axelrod. Sydney Axelrod is a life coach and owner of Sydney Axelrod LLC, a business that provides personal and professional development coaching services. Through one-on-one coaching, digital courses, and group workshops, Sydney helps clients discover their purpose, navigate life transitions, and set and accomplish goals. . Sydney has over 1000 hours of coaching and training and holds a bachelor’s degree in marketing and finance from Emory University.
There are 18 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 8,830 times.
Everyone goes through a moment when life seems so harsh or a moment when we feel like giving up is the only option. We think that, no matter how hard we try, we will never reach our goals or reach our dreams. It’s easy to surrender. However, if you’re feeling down, there are ways you can realign everything that’s important, refocus on your ambitions, and stay motivated. Don’t give up before trying something.
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