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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
There are 19 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 54,964 times.
Most people cry, but women often cry more than men. [1] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source When you come across a woman crying, whether it’s your lover, friend, or co-worker, there are a few things you can do to help her. he feels better. Comforting a crying person can make your relationship stronger, and help both of you feel more comfortable. [2] X Research Source
Steps
Comforting loved ones and close friends
- When you are also affected by the situation that makes her unhappy. If you’re also shocked, upset, or hurt by the situation that made her cry, you’re in the wrong position to help her. In this case, you should find other support to help you and her cope with what is going on. [4] X Research Sources
- When she cried for joy. Researchers are still not sure why happy people can cry uncontrollably like people who are scared or sad. [5] X Research Source When you’re in this situation, congratulating a friend or lover is more appropriate than trying to comfort her!
- When she cries during an argument with you. Before you comfort her, you also need to calm down for a moment to make sure the argument doesn’t happen again.
- However, you should remember that consolation is not about trying to change the other person’s feelings.
- Be careful that the conversation doesn’t focus on you because this is what’s happening to her. Don’t look at things from your position. Even if she doesn’t act like you, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve comfort or she deserves sadness. [9] X Research Source
- Avoid saying things like “If I were you…”, “Have you tried…haven’t you?” or “When it happened to me, I didn’t overdo it.”
- In general, you should avoid using imperative statements, negative language, or imperative language. Never use statements like “Don’t cry,” “You shouldn’t be sad,” or “It’s not that bad.”
- You won’t do her any good by assuming you know all the answers. Avoid saying what you think she should or shouldn’t do to solve the problem. Don’t assume you know everything she’s going through and how to handle it. This only made her feel rejected.
- People who cry because of a mental illness such as anxiety or depression often feel worse instead of better after crying. [11] X Research Sources If you think she’s crying because of the effects of a mental illness, comfort and encourage her, but you should also advise her to see a doctor to get the treatment she needs. set.
- “Too bad…I’m sorry that happened!”
- “I understand that this is really painful.”
- “This sounds so disgruntled. I’m sorry about that.”
- “No wonder you’re so sad. It seems like a difficult thing to do.”
- “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
- While handing over a tissue is sometimes interpreted as a gesture of concern, it can also be a sign that you want your partner to stop crying. Therefore, you should only do this when the crying person needs a tissue or seems to be looking for a tissue.
- You can also observe her body language to see if she’s receptive to this comforting act of yours. Defensive body language like clenched fists, crossed arms and legs, or avoiding eye contact means she wants you to keep your distance. [16] X Research Source
- Let her know that you’re always willing to help, but don’t try to force her to accept your help. Sometimes the help she needs is just to talk to someone. Often listening is the best way to comfort others. [18] X Research Sources
- Ask open-ended questions to see if she needs help. Questions like “What can I do to help you?” or “I really want to help–so what can I do to make things better?” These are some good opening lines to show how she wants your help.
- Sometimes people who are sad feel confused and don’t know what you should do to help them. In this case, try listing a few things you can do to help her feel better. For example, you might ask her if she wants to go out for ice cream, or if she wants you to meet up at a different time and prepare a movie for both of you to watch. You need to pay attention to which suggestion she responds positively to. [19] X Research Source
- For example, if she’s crying because of work stress, you can offer to help with the housework so she can focus on her work. If she cries over an argument with a friend, the two of you can discuss ways to mend the relationship together.
Comfort an acquaintance or colleague
- Remember that crying in the workplace is not unprofessional. Most people cry at some point, so crying at work is inevitable. [22] X Harvard Business Review Trusted Source Go to Source
- Reassure her if she’s embarrassed, for example, by saying, “It’s okay to cry” or “There’s nothing to be ashamed of – we’re human!”.
- “I know we are colleagues, but I can also be a friend if you need someone to talk to. Do you have something you want to tell me?”
- “My office door is always open if you need to confide something difficult to say.”
- “Is there anything I can do for you? Even if it’s not about work, I’m willing to listen.”
- For example, you won’t initiate a hug unless she wants you to. If you want to call her after work to check on her, you should ask her if she’s comfortable with that.
- For example, she needs to take a leave of absence, or you will help her plan how to handle difficult professional work.
- Even so, you should only act when she needs your help. It is very easy to find yourself in a situation where you are trying to solve the problem the way you think is best. However, maybe she doesn’t want the help or the things you think she needs. You certainly don’t want to make the situation worse.
- Avoid getting too involved in personal matters. Don’t feel like you need to deal with a coworker’s personal problem. Also, if you’re not close to each other, don’t assume you know how to handle her problems. Be comforting and listen, but only focus on the work aspect.
- If you find you can’t help her with the problem, apologize and say you can’t help. If you know anyone who can help with her problem, suggest she talk to her and seek help from that person.
Advice
- Either way, the most important thing you can do for a crying woman is listen and empathize. Other gestures such as preparing dinner, offering her coffee, taking her to the movies are all very kind, but your presence and concern is the most precious gift you can give your partner. .
- Watching someone else cry can make many people uncomfortable, but you should work through the discomfort to give love and care to the person who needs it.
- Remember that crying is not a problem to be solved, but a way of communication that needs to be heard. [26] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source
Warning
- Crying is healthy, but it can also be a sign of a serious medical condition like an anxiety disorder, fear, or depression. If she keeps crying and doesn’t feel better, advise her to see a professional.
- Comforting a crying person is a healthy, caring, and positive act. However, sometimes this can also have a negative effect. If you feel exhausted trying to comfort someone, take care of yourself by reaching out to people who can help you.
This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
There are 19 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 54,964 times.
Most people cry, but women often cry more than men. [1] X Trusted Source American Psychpogical Association Go to Source When you come across a woman crying, whether it’s your lover, friend, or co-worker, there are a few things you can do to help her. he feels better. Comforting a crying person can make your relationship stronger, and help both of you feel more comfortable. [2] X Research Source
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