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When you have to wonder if your friend is really a friend, the relationship is probably on the verge of a cliff. Friends may be innumerable, but a true friend is much rarer and more valuable. Fortunately, you can easily spot such friends.
Steps
How does a real friend talk?
- If she tells you genuine compliments about everything from your new outfit to the things you do, that’s a good sign.
- Encouragement, even in the little things, is a sign of trust for both parties.
- Notice if the person is a “cheerleader”. Although they may not make you happy all the time , if they are good friends, they will always be “fans” and cheer for your success.
- If that person is always denying your success or is always trying to outdo you (“Is your test 8 points? Cool, I got 9”), put you down and/or don’t believe in things. If you’ve made it, then they’re not a real friend – shutting down their bad behavior right away is what you should do.
- If that person keeps staring blankly around the room and glancing at his phone every time you talk, or doesn’t even remember when you said you just applied to law school, then they’re probably just a fake friend. created and not worth your time chatting.
- If you know how to talk like a grown-up when things go wrong, you have good communication. If you and that person can comfortably say things like, “Hey, I’m so sad you didn’t come to my party the other day,” then you’ve found a friendship worth preserving.
- If you feel like you have to hide something from her or him, you don’t dare to reveal secrets or big things that happen to you, or feel like they aren’t opening up to you about their lives, maybe Maybe you’re dealing with someone who’s not really you.
- If that person speaks ill of others as soon as they leave the room, then that person is scary.
- If the person is in the habit of gossiping about the people they say are their best friends, then they will talk about you in the same way to their other “best friends”.
- If that person specializes in saying negative things about absentees, then they are definitely not a good friend.
How does a real friend behave?
- If that person is good at arranging phone conversations, lunches or dinners with you and keeps the routine, then congratulations! You are having a real friend. Of course, you should also remember to reciprocate the same and spend time with your friend.
- If that person never makes time for you, always complains that life is “busy,” and just wants you to revolve around their schedule, then you probably have a problem. Especially if they spend a lot of time with their significant other or other friends. Everyone is not busy, but not everyone misses an appointment.
- Both sides are willing to show affection. Not everyone likes to hug, but everyone has a way to show care.
- Keeping the balance doesn’t have to mean spending the same amount of money on both sides – friendship is non-negotiable. It’s just the feeling of being respected and cared for by your friends, no matter how they show it.
- Don’t let that person come to you only when they need help or call for help, but when you need it, they are always “busy”. Both must actively come together at one time or another, not only to ask for help but also to offer help.
- If that person often misses appointments with you, neglects to make plans, or doesn’t show up to important appointments, then they are the ones who don’t keep their word. You should ignore the person and leave them out of your schedule.
- The famous. Anyone who’s seen the movie The Girls Who’ve Got It, realizes that true friends will always be there for you, whether you’re famous or not. Fame has its ups and downs, but no matter what, it can’t change a true friendship.
- Richness. Sure – having a rich friend is fun. You can enjoy things you could never pay for yourself! But if you are loved by your friends just because you have money, chances are they will leave when you have no more pennies in your pocket.
- Convenience. Do you usually give them a ride to the office or give them a copy of their homework? Do they give you anything in return?
- Boring. It’s summer vacation, and your neighbor suddenly becomes friendly with you. But when the new school year started, they disappeared. These so-called “friends” will ignore you as soon as they find a new group of friends or another new guy/girl arrives.
What a true friend makes you feel
- If every time you see a friend leaves you feeling like you’ve done something wrong, you worry that you’ve upset your friend or feel bad about yourself, then you have a problem. If the person puts you down to raise themselves up, that’s not okay either. If that person upsets you with malicious comments about his appearance, weight, grades, etc., then you’ve already seen it.
- Fake or unintentional friends can make you happy when it’s just the two of you, but at parties or in public they act like they don’t even know you exist. They ignore your advice or thoughts and pull you out of the group’s plans.
- Everyone has difficult times at one time or another. However, if you feel like the person is always in crisis and you can’t enjoy your own life because you have to clean up the mess for your friend, then you are in trouble. You are friends, not a box of tissues to wipe your tears.
- If you don’t look forward to hanging out with that person, don’t want them to see your family and other friends, or feel heavy around them, then they’re not really friends. In this case, it’s up to you to find some polite way to withdraw.
- Even if you’re constantly “whispering” over whether your friend is really your friend, chances are your relationship is in big trouble. No friendship is perfect, and occasional hiccups are inevitable. But those obstacles cannot destroy a true friendship.
Advice
- A true friend will accept you as you are.
- Real friends always support you. They always support you in difficult situations and are ready to support you.
- Don’t use good gestures to compensate for bad behaviour. A good friend won’t do things like talk bad about you behind your back, take your stuff or lie to you – even if he/she seems very sweet to you.
- If it’s a real friend, that person won’t be jealous if you even play with other people.
- Tell your friend about your doubts, but don’t accuse them of anything.
- Always put yourself in the person’s shoes to empathize with their situation.
- Always find a way to help your friend find a solution to a problem.
- True friends don’t talk behind your back, they talk directly to you.
- If the person excludes you from their activities, that is not the real you.
- A true friend always respects you.
- Good friends will always stand up for you when you are bullied or teased, and they will always support you no matter what.
- If someone just makes you sad then they are not real friends.
Warning
- Don’t lie to yourself about being friends with someone who doesn’t feel the same way as you do. You will only end up hurting yourself in the end.
- Don’t try to change a friendship that you know can’t be changed. If the person is really unkind or just abusing you, they’re not worth your efforts to mend your friendship. Break up with that person and find better friends; This will help you in the long run.
- Don’t ask your friend repeatedly and/or rudely. That can do more harm than good, especially in deeply attached relationships.
wikiHow is a “wiki” site, which means that many of the articles here are written by multiple authors. To create this article, 147 people, some of whom are anonymous, have edited and improved the article over time.
This article has been viewed 133,118 times.
When you have to wonder if your friend is really a friend, the relationship is probably on the verge of a cliff. Friends may be innumerable, but a true friend is much rarer and more valuable. Fortunately, you can easily spot such friends.
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