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This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 34,169 times.
Before you kiss a girl, you have to make sure she likes you. Be flirty and compliment her; Pay attention to the other person’s attitude to know how she feels. Probe first by noticing how she reacts when you lightly touch her arm or shoulder. Once you’re confident she likes you, seek approval before leaning in to cuddle her. Pull her close and tilt your head before touching her lips. Loosen her lips, avoid pinching or putting your tongue in her mouth.
Steps
Flirting and getting the girl’s consent
- Say, “I love the way you match your skin tone,” or “You have a really cute hairstyle.”
- Say compliments about her personality. For example, “I love hearing you laugh.” and “You are so smart” are simple and effective compliments.
- Find things about her to compliment. For example, compliments about the house she lives in may not be very helpful.
- Try to choose times when it’s just you and her to compliment. If you compliment a girl in front of your friends, they may tease you that you’re flirting.
- If it turns out that her feelings aren’t what you think, you can pretend your eyes and smile are just friendly.
- Eye contact is a sign of confidence.
- Don’t look her straight in the eye for more than 4-5 seconds. Staring can be intimidating if you stare too long.
Tip: If the girl has a handbag or backpack, pay attention to how she holds or wears it. If she’s clutching her bag while talking to you, it could be a sign that she’s a little scared or nervous and doesn’t feel comfortable around you yet. Maybe you should stop bothering her and try to start a conversation another time.
- If she leans into your arm and holds your hand, keep going for a while to show that you’re not too excited.
- Another way to spot girls is to try tucking her hair behind her back. Although it is romantic in movies, this gesture is also quite risky. She might think you’re going to touch her face and turn away.
- Holding hands is a sign that she’s more willing to accept a firm kiss than a shoulder, but the gesture is less risky. Depend on your confidence level to choose the right way.
Connell Barrett
Marriage and Love Expert
Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
Marriage and Love Expert
Expert advice: You can find opportunities in many different moments. For example, you may notice that the other person is looking deep into your eyes or leaning closer to you and their body language is similar to yours. When this moment comes, maybe it’s a good time for a kiss.
- If she takes the initiative to kiss you first, don’t stop to ask. You are already authorized.
- Suck on a mint or chew a stick of gum before asking her for a kiss to ensure fresh breath.
- Once she has her consent, don’t waste time. Come back to face her and get ready!
Start the kiss
- If you’re not ready to hold her hand or put your arm around her yet, try placing your hands on her shoulders. This gesture is the intermediate between a hug and standing still.
- Unless it’s a playful, fleeting kiss, don’t let your hands drop. This makes you look like you didn’t really put your love into the kiss.
- Keep your lips closed when you kiss. You kiss with your lips, not with your teeth!
Tip: You can pucker your lips when you lightly kiss her cheek, but avoid doing so when you’re kissing a girl on the lips.
- Avoid sudden movements and try to be as smooth as possible. Your gestures should be simple and subtle.
- Lean your whole friend close to her. Don’t just stick your head out like you’re scared of her!
- Don’t tilt your head so much that your lips cross each other.
Lip lock
- Opening your eyes during a kiss is a bad idea because you look intimidating, and this mistake is considered a rudimentary first kisser’s mistake.
- Smile as you lean over to let her know you’re happy to kiss her.
- To pull her in closer, try wrapping your arms around her back and leaning against her.
- Don’t put your tongue deep inside her mouth. Keep your tongue behind your teeth.
Tip: If she wants to end the kiss at this point, don’t force her to kiss again. Smile and continue the topic the two of you were talking about before you kissed. This way, the kiss will feel natural and help you look confident.
- You don’t have to switch sides if you don’t want to, but your neck will hurt after about a minute of kissing, especially if she’s shorter and you have to bend over.
Kissing different styles
- Always consult her first, even with a light kiss on the cheek.
- If she resists in any way, don’t try to pick her up. There are girls who don’t like being lifted off the floor.
- Don’t go too far with a French kiss if you have too much saliva in your mouth.
- Take a break every once in a while! A French kiss that lasts longer than 10-20 seconds can make it hard for both of you to breathe.
Tip: Don’t put your tongue deep down her throat without warning. The idea was terrible and would freak her out.
This article was co-written by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a love consultant, founder and executive coach of Dating Transformation, a relationship consulting firm he founded in 2017 and based out of New York City. Connell advises clients based on the XRB Dating System: Authenticity, Clarity, and Expression. He is also a dating coach with the dating app The League. His work has been featured in Cosmoppitan, The Oprah Magazine and Today.
This article has been viewed 34,169 times.
Before you kiss a girl, you have to make sure she likes you. Be flirty and compliment her; Pay attention to the other person’s attitude to know how she feels. Probe first by noticing how she reacts when you lightly touch her arm or shoulder. Once you’re confident she likes you, seek approval before leaning in to cuddle her. Pull her close and tilt your head before touching her lips. Loosen her lips, avoid pinching or putting your tongue in her mouth.
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