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This article was co-written by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a successful private practice in New York City that focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching Karma. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 82,984 times.
If you’re having trouble understanding the women in your life, don’t worry – it’s not as complicated as you think. The secret to understanding women is to put aside your guesswork and take the time to get to know each individual. Whether she’s an acquaintance, relative, or lover, if you take the time to talk to them and really listen to what they have to say, you’ll soon get to know them better and the things they care about. You will also realize the benefits of being familiar with women’s issues and knowing how to identify and question some of the gender stereotypes.
Steps
Get to know a certain woman
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Avoid guessing about her. It’s hard to understand others when you think you know everything (or something) about them. When getting to know a woman, you should start with clearing the guesswork about her thoughts or feelings. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you know her ultimate life, interests, or beliefs.
- For example, if she’s single, you shouldn’t assume she’s lonely and looking for a relationship. Not every woman wants a couple. [1] X Research Source
- You may have difficulty identifying your conjecture. If you have any thoughts about the woman in your life, stop and ask yourself, “Why do I think this way? Is there any good reason for me to believe that?”
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See her as an independent individual. Remember that every woman is an individual with her own unique features and so are you. She has her own life story, circumstances, and experiences – things that have a personal touch. As you begin to get to know her, you need to see her as an individual before you let the gender factor in or impose a subjective perception of what a woman “should” be.
- That doesn’t mean you have to ignore gender – above all, it’s still an important part of many people’s identities. However, be aware that gender doesn’t completely determine who she is.
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Question her feelings, thoughts, and beliefs. One of the best ways to get to know and understand someone is to talk to them. If you want to know more about women, ask questions. However, you should not ask too personal or prying questions, especially if you are not close to her. For example, a few things you might ask are: [2] X Research Sources
- “What do you usually do in your free time?”
- “How do you feel about this matter?”
- “Why did you choose to pursue that field?”
- “What do you hope to achieve in the near future?”
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Pay attention to what she has to say. Asking questions and talking will only help you understand a woman if you really care about what she has to say. When she shares, you need to try to listen and understand the content. Don’t just spend time thinking about how you’ll respond during the conversation. Instead, listen first and then think about how to respond. [3] X Research Sources
- If you don’t understand something, try repeating the content in your own words or asking questions to clarify.
- For example, you could say, “That sounds like you don’t want to choose to use this brand because they haven’t come up with a solution to the environmental problem, right?
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Pay attention to her body language . Listening to someone’s words is not the only way to understand them. Paying attention to nonverbal gestures, such as facial expressions and posture, is also important. When you’re around a woman or talking to her, observe how she shows emotions through her face and body. [4] X Research Sources
- For example, if she looks at you, smiles, and relaxes her arms on either side of her body, she’s probably feeling comfortable and relaxed.
- If she looks at the floor and crosses her arms over her chest, she may be nervous, embarrassed, or nervous.
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Spend time with her when you can. Spending time with someone can help you learn more about them. If you can meet her, you will have the opportunity to observe how she behaves in different situations and with many other people. Depending on how close she is and how comfortable she is with you, try meeting her alone or asking her out with a group.
- Make a specific invitation. [5] X Research Source For example, instead of asking a vague question like, “Would you like to go somewhere with me sometime?”, you could say, “Me and some friends are going to an event. lawsuit on Friday. Do you want to come with me?”
- For a one-on-one date, try asking her to do something less stressful so you have time to talk and get to know her better. For example, you could invite her out for coffee or lunch.
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Chat with her acquaintances to get a different perspective. If you find someone’s behavior difficult to understand, sometimes it helps to talk to their friends or acquaintances. These people can help you better understand her actions, thoughts, or words.
- For example, try saying: “You’ve known Lan for a long time. Do you know why she gets annoyed whenever she mentions parrots?”
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Try to put yourself in her shoes. Deep empathy is an important part of understanding someone. Try to imagine yourself in her situation and ask yourself how you would think and feel in a similar situation. [6] X Trusted Source Greater Good Magazine Go to Source
- For example, you might think, “Mai is forgetful sometimes, but she has to work two shifts and take care of the young children at home. She must have often felt tired and exhausted.”
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Find out what problems women face. Even if you live in a place where there is supposed to be legal and social gender equality, men and women both face their own problems and challenges. To understand a woman, you need to look at the big picture and understand the pressures and prejudices they face that you don’t.
- For example, you might read articles, books, or opinions on issues such as differences in the treatment of men and women by health care workers or the challenges women face in the workplace. work.
- If she complains about challenges and dissatisfaction of the weaker sex, you should try to refrain from protesting or acting indifferent. Open your heart and try to see things from her point of view.
Become understanding in a romantic relationship
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Give your partner all of your attention when you’re together. Even if you are in a relationship with a girl, it will still be difficult for you to understand her if you don’t focus and pay attention to her. You don’t have to focus entirely on her 24/7, but pay attention to her when you’re spending time together. You will put your phone and distractions aside and focus on listening to what she has to say. [7] X Research Sources
- When you’re talking, you should try to understand what she’s saying before responding. Ask questions to better understand what she has to say.
- She’ll do the same thing if she realizes you’re really paying attention and trying to understand her.
Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Relationship expert
Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a successful private practice in New York City that focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching Karma. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.
Chloe Carmichael, PhD
Relationship expert
Relationship expert
Try out various romantic gestures based on what she likes. The trick here is to find something that the person finds extremely romantic. Some girls love having their lover send flowers to the office on Valentine’s Day because it makes them feel noticed and special. On the contrary, others consider such things cheesy or an invasion of their privacy.
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Actively interested in what she likes. You will understand your lover better and build a better relationship if you care (even if only a little) about the things that are important to her. [8] X Research Sources Ask her what activities she enjoys, what her goals and dreams are, and what goals and beliefs make the most sense to her. From there, you can arrange to do some of her hobbies together.
- This could be as simple as watching her favorite TV show or playing her favorite video game from time to time.
- Ask questions about things she cares about. For example, “What did you like most about this book?” or “What got you interested in climbing?”
- Finding out what she’s interested in will not only bring the two of you closer, but it will also help you get to know her better.
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Avoid making accusations or jumping to conclusions during an argument. If the person does something that you can’t understand or disagree with, don’t rush to complain or accuse. This will cause her to protest and you will have a hard time understanding her point of view and coming up with a solution to the situation. Instead, let her know how you feel and express your desire to have her explain your actions calmly and respectfully. [9] X Research Source
- For example, you could say, “I feel hurt and confused when you make that comment about my brother. Why do you say that?”
- Avoid using accusatory or conjectural language. For example, don’t say “I’m always trying to put you and your family down to feel better about yourself!”
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Ask her. If you’re not sure how your partner is feeling or thinking, the best way to find out is to ask. Make sure you’re really interested in her answers and ask more questions when you don’t understand. [10] X Research Source
- You can ask open-ended questions like “How are you feeling?” or more specific questions like “Are you sulking over our earlier argument?”
- If she gives you an answer that is evasive or says she doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t push or get angry. Instead, you can say, “I see. If you want to talk, I’m always ready to listen.”
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Engage with your thoughts and feelings. This may sound strange, but knowing more about yourself can make it easier for you to get to know your partner. If you don’t know what’s going on in her head and heart, it’ll be hard for you to engage with her thoughts and feelings. [11] X Research Resources Every day, take time to pay close attention to your body’s emotions, thoughts, and feelings.
- Don’t try to judge or analyze your thoughts and feelings. You just have to observe and name them. For example, you might think to yourself, “When I argue with Lan, I feel scared. I am afraid of losing her. My shoulders feel tight and my heart beats fast.”
Do you know yet? Research shows that people who practice mindfulness meditation are more likely to empathize and empathize with others. [12] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Chloe Carmichael is a licensed clinical psychologist who runs a successful private practice in New York City that focuses on relationship issues, stress management, and career coaching Karma. She received her PhD in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University and is the author of the Amazon bestseller, Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating.
There are 8 references cited in this article that you can see at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 82,984 times.
If you’re having trouble understanding the women in your life, don’t worry – it’s not as complicated as you think. The secret to understanding women is to put aside your guesswork and take the time to get to know each individual. Whether she’s an acquaintance, relative, or lover, if you take the time to talk to them and really listen to what they have to say, you’ll soon get to know them better and the things they care about. You will also realize the benefits of being familiar with women’s issues and knowing how to identify and question some of the gender stereotypes.
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