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This article was co-written by Christina Jay, NLP. Christina Jay is a matchmaker and life coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her company dedicated to finding love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through the Canadian NLP Training Program and holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Brock University.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,462 times.
Shyness can make young boys as well as many men vulnerable, especially when dealing with girls. If shyness is preventing you from meeting someone you have a crush on, then read on to learn how to get over it by reading these steps.
Steps
No hurry
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Give yourself time. Don’t expect to completely overcome shyness right away. Most people you meet and talk to are also timid to some degree in different situations. Shyness isn’t as obvious as black and white but is an ongoing process, so don’t be too hard on yourself, especially if you’re just starting out on the journey to overcoming shyness. [1] X Research Source
- Many people are also struggling to overcome shyness; It’s just that you don’t know.
- Even if you do something silly, you should forget it. Most people are more generous than you think.
- Every time you talk to someone, be proud that you tried.
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Practice with a friend. When you practice with someone you feel comfortable around, you will get instant feedback and will also be rewarded with praise for your efforts. This will help increase your confidence. [2] X Research Source
- Practice eye contact without staring, use confident body language, introduce yourself, and ask questions.
- Practice smiling while talking.
- For starters, you can practice with a male or female friend. You should also practice in front of a mirror.
- When you’re ready, practice dating your girlfriend – have her cousin play a role to help sharpen your skills. Practice praising her.
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Take small steps. Treat dating and shyness as a 12-step program. Start with a smile; appear friendly and approachable. Next, say “hello”. The next few days are practice speaking a few sentences. Continue like this as you gradually open up to people. [3] X Research Sources
- Stop making excuses for shyness. Get out there and do something to improve your shyness.
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Cultivate compassion. Showing compassion is being concerned about the well-being of others and focusing on them. People with compassion don’t care much about the attention that surrounds them. The more you care about others, the less you worry about how others see you, so you can be more comfortable around them and have more intimate company with them. [4] X Research Sources
- One way to practice compassion is to reach out your hand to someone who seems lonely. Invite them out for coffee or lunch with them. [5] X Research Sources .
More confident
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Don’t be too sensitive to what other people say. For good friendship and love, you shouldn’t take every comment or joke as an attack. Sometimes people speak without intent, or you may misunderstand them. [6] X Research Sources
- Blaming yourself or exaggerating your mistakes will only hurt you and reduce your chances of meeting the great girl!
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Learn how to deal with rejection. Even the top boxers in the ring know that they have the potential to lose. Likewise, you cannot expect to be successful all the time. No one is perfectly matched and not everyone gets along. Instead, consider each encounter with a woman a good opportunity to learn. [7] X Research Sources
- When you step out and get rejected, you’ll realize that rejection isn’t a disaster.
- You will never succeed if you don’t try. Not opening an invitation means you never have a first date!
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Be less shy . Shyness and hesitation will appear when you wonder about your weaknesses. Instead, you should focus entirely on the woman you’re talking to. You’ll forget your jitters and she’ll be proud to have caught your attention. [8] X Research Sources
- Remember that most people you meet are so preoccupied with what others think of you that they don’t really notice and judge you.
- Look around and realize that people are not laughing at you or judging you.
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Coping with communication anxiety . Conquer your fear of talking to girls by building confidence. Using a similar approach to cognitive-behavioral therapy, you’ll be guided through confidence-building exercises, and can participate in groups or receive individual counseling, or Use a software to practice on your own. [9] X Research Source
- Plus there are TED Talks for Shyness that can inspire and give you suggestions. [10] X Research Source
- Practice through real-life situations, and assess your shyness and nervousness before and after experiencing them. You’ll find that the more you practice, the less shy and nervous you become, and increase your confidence.
More Comfortable in Social Situations
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Go out and socialize. Join activities that you enjoy and can give you lots of opportunities to interact with people, such as joining a sports team or hobby club. [11] X Research Source
- When interacting with teammates, you will have many opportunities to practice conversations.
- Gradually get to know your teammates and over time you will feel comfortable chatting with them.
- Play a role in the team, such as keeping a timer or taking notes. When there’s a quest to complete, you’ll be forced to talk. [12] X Research Source
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Initiate a conversation. Try using a few connotations, such as mentioning that you’re in her biology class, or that you really like her stylish bag. [13] X Research Source
- When you’re out with friends or family, try to initiate group chat. After a while you will become comfortable interacting with people in a natural manner.
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Talk to someone who is alone. Maybe she’ll be happy to have someone to talk to. [14] X Research Source
- When you bring joy to a scared girl at a party, not only will your confidence increase, but you will also feel satisfied for helping others.
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Talk to many people. Don’t be afraid to chat with everyone you meet, from old people shopping for groceries to bank employees. Has iron grinding makes perfect. The more you go out and socialize, the more comfortable you will feel. [15] X Research Source
- Psychologists call the gradual increase in attempts to converse with new people increased exposure. It is also a common method for overcoming fears.
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True. Be yourself. Many girls are very keen to spot braggarts, and such behavior can become a hindrance. Girls usually like funny guys who are really themselves. [16] X Research Source
- Don’t worry about the introduction having to be cleverer. A sharp opening can work well on TV, but most girls think it’s fake. Instead, introduce yourself and ask her how her day was.
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Always ready. When you find yourself in a social situation at school or at work, be prepared to exchange social sentences. For example, when someone asks if you have something fun to do on the weekend, this is a great opportunity to talk about yourself, expand the conversation, and show interest. she speaks. [17] X Research Source
- When faced with an unfamiliar social situation, try to keep an interesting idea or two on hand to come up with, but don’t be too ostentatious.
- Don’t rehearse what you’re going to say. If you keep trying to remember verbatim sentences you have practiced, you are likely to become confused and embarrassed if you accidentally forget what you are about to say.
- When you don’t know what to say, ask about her. Girls will love it when you show interest and really listen.
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Learn to listen . Don’t say the other person’s part. Ask open-ended questions and simply sit back and listen. If the conversation quiets down, prepare new topics to talk about. [18] X Research Sources
- Try to avoid monopolizing the conversation when talking about yourself, as she may not be as interested in the topics as you are.
- Ask her a few questions and show that you’re really listening by asking more about what she just said. For example, if she mentions spending the weekend with your parents at their country house, don’t start talking about the country house you went to last weekend but ask more about the house or dad. her mother.
- Respond appropriately. Don’t just ask her 20 questions. If she asks about you, answer her.
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Dating somewhere interesting. If you’re nervous about the conversation part of the first date, ask her to go to the movies or do another activity first, so you’ll have a common topic to talk about later. [19] X Research Source
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This article was co-written by Christina Jay, NLP. Christina Jay is a matchmaker and life coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her company dedicated to finding love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through the Canadian NLP Training Program and holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Brock University.
There are 11 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 49,462 times.
Shyness can make young boys as well as many men vulnerable, especially when dealing with girls. If shyness is preventing you from meeting someone you have a crush on, then read on to learn how to get over it by reading these steps.
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