12 effective ways to text the guy you like without sounding too pushy

Texting is a very effective way to connect with the guy you like, especially if you’re nervous about talking to him in person. Yes, you can text him whenever you want, but there are some important things that you should follow so that you don’t suffocate him or make you look too pushy. Read the tips below to communicate with him confidently.

Table of Contents

Things you need to know

Text him when you have something to ask or share. Avoid sending simple messages like “Hello”.
Just the right message. Give him a chance to reply to your texts, and don’t text him right after you’ve just met him.
Mention your plans to others, and avoid sharing too many personal details over text.

Text him when you have something to say or share.

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Don’t just say “Hello” or “Hi.” Greetings like these sound boring, and can also make him think you have nothing to do but text him. Instead, text him when you want to talk about your day or send a photo of something cool. ^{[1] X Research Source}

Maybe you just saw something that reminds you of an insider joke you shared with him. Take a picture and send it to him. This is much more interesting than a regular greeting like “Hi.”

Just send a short message.

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It’s okay to text him, but don’t send long texts all the time. The longer the message, the more diluted it is. Do you want him to be more curious? Please send a short and sweet message! ^{[2] X Research Source}

For example, you could send a text like “Do you want us to meet sometime this week?” This sounds confident and bold and doesn’t make him think you’re holding the phone waiting for him to answer.

Give him a chance to reciprocate.

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Wait for him to respond before you send another text. This is even more true if you ask him something. Never text him back to ask why he hasn’t responded. Don’t keep texting until he hasn’t replied to your previous message, and don’t torture yourself while waiting for a response – maybe you’re overthinking, maybe he’s just busy! ^{[3] X Research Sources}

Take a look at the times when you text him – is it an inconvenient time and he doesn’t have his phone with him? Take this into account if you’re nervous about waiting for him to respond.
Avoid sending a sequence of messages in a row. Don’t let him pick up the phone and only see dozens of your messages in a row.

Invest in his efforts.

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You don’t have to try to get his attention. If he sends curt one-word replies or doesn’t reply after a few days, he’s not as enthusiastic as you. In this case, you can either ignore it and forget about it or send him a flirty text to woo him. ^{[4] X Research Sources}

For example, if he sends you a vague text promising to go out with you but doesn’t give the details, then don’t make the whole plan for him. Say something like, “I love planning dates too, but I think it would be more fun if you decided to.” Either he will text you to schedule the details of the date, or else he will ignore it, so you won’t have to waste time and effort anymore.

Don’t be afraid to flirt.

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You can completely insinuate pushing when texting. After all, if you like him, you’d want him to know that, wouldn’t you? The bold or playful tone of voice in your text also shows that you don’t expect him too much – it shows him your confidence. ^{[5] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “Stop posting sexy pictures like that. You’re killing me” or “If you want to ask, today is the perfect time.”

Keep everything in moderation.

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You don’t have to vent your heart out over a text message. Your messages should be light, fun, and simple so that they don’t sound too cheesy, especially if you don’t know the guy very well. You can scare him off if you confess that you’re in love with him or you’re glad you found each other. ^{[6] X Research Sources}

Don’t forget that you need to make him interested or curious about you. Don’t give up too early!

Feel free to text him first.

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Send a confident text that shows you like him. You may have heard advice to wait for him to ask first. Actually, it doesn’t have to be! You can totally send him a short text letting him know that you like him. It also shows that you are confident and not afraid to do what you want. ^{[7] X Research Sources}

You can text “Hi, I was very happy to talk to you yesterday. When you come back to the city, we’ll see each other again.”

Mention your other plans.

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Ask if he wants to see you, because you already have other offers. Let’s say he asked you out on a Friday night, but by Friday afternoon you still haven’t received a text from him. Text him asking what he wants to do that night – you need to know because you have other things to do. ^{[8] X Research Sources}

For example, you could say, “Hi, I don’t think we’ll see each other tonight, do you? I did not receive any messages from you. I also have some other things to do if we don’t hang out.”
This type of text helps you stay proactive, because you tell him your backup plan and won’t sit around waiting for him to ask you out.

Don’t text him right after you’ve just met.

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Maybe you get excited just thinking about him or you think the act is cute, but give him some space! If you text your guy right after you meet him, you’ll come across as clingy, even possessive. Give him a few hours or a day before sending your text or picture. Like that, he will think that you are busy with work and have a life of your own. ^{[9] X Research Source}

That way, if he likes you, he’ll have time to wonder what you’re up to, and curiosity can make him like you even more.

Do not disclose personal information.

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Don’t share too much, or you’ll seem like you’re trying too hard. This is extremely important if you don’t know the guy well. If you reveal a lot of personal information, he may be overwhelmed, even scared, and run away. Stick to light, easy-to-talk topics before you get to know each other better. ^{[10] X Research Source}

For example, don’t gossip about mutual friends or complain about your ex. You should also avoid texting about topics that are difficult to express through texting, such as politics, religion, money, and sex.
Talking about old loves is definitely taboo! No guy wants to hear you complain about your ex over text, so stay positive and don’t mention them.

Avoid texting him too often.

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There are no strict rules for how often to text a guy. However, you should try to read his signals to know how often to respond. For example, if he always texts you right back and asks you about this or that, then of course you should reply! ^{[11] X Research Source}

If he takes a few days to respond and doesn’t seem very interested, try to communicate with him more in real life instead of texting, because he seems like he doesn’t like the long-distance communication environment. pine.

Only text him when you’re sober.

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If you text while intoxicated, you run the risk of saying something you’ll later regret. When looking at their phone after a long night, no one wants to see that they’ve sent a bunch of embarrassing texts to a guy. If you don’t trust yourself to avoid this after drinking, give your phone to a close friend to keep for a night or turn off its messaging function temporarily. You will thank yourself for this! ^{[12] X Research Source}

If it’s too late and you’ve already texted, don’t panic. Send a short text to apologize and say you’re drunk, then forget about it and stop worrying.