You are viewing the article 10 signs that you are not your lover’s priority and how to handle it at Lassho.edu.vn you can quickly access the necessary information in the table of contents of the article below.
X
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
There are 16 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,521 times.
Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of by your lover? Perhaps you are giving more than you are receiving from your lover. When your partner treats you like an option, it doesn’t mean they don’t make you a priority in life. We’re here to help you spot the signs that you’re not your lover’s priority. Besides, we will also tell you how to talk to them and how to be a priority in their eyes.
- You may not be a priority for your partner if they always want things to be their way and are waiting for you to do it all for the relationship.
- Tell your partner what they can do to make you feel more prioritized and thank them when they change for you.
- You can also improve your relationship by setting boundaries and prioritizing your needs.
Steps
Signs that you are not your lover’s priority
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/0f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-1.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-1.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-1.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-1.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
You feel like you’re still single. When not being prioritized by your other half, it is easy to forget that you have a lover. That person is supposed to make you feel appreciated, so you’ll be heartbroken because you feel like you don’t have a lover. [1] X Research Source Try talking to them about why you feel lonely and how you want to change.
- “I feel like we’re not a couple because we rarely date. Can we arrange weekly date nights?”
- “I feel sad that we don’t text each other every day. Would you agree to communicate more with me?”
- “Sometimes I feel like we’re just friends. What’s the relationship like for you?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/d5/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-2.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-2.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/d5/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-2.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-2.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Your lover does not define a relationship with you. Sometimes people delay defining a relationship because they just want to date for fun. It is also possible that they are enamored with you but are afraid of commitment. In this case, it’s possible that they really like and like you even if they find it difficult to talk to you. Try asking them if they want to clarify their feelings. [2] X Research Source
- “I’m happy to be with you, but we haven’t made it clear that we’re officially in a relationship. I don’t know what you think?”
- “I was talking to my friend that you were amazing, and then I realized I didn’t know what to call you. Do you feel comfortable when I call you boyfriend?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/0f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-3.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-3.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/0f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-3.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-3.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
They ignore your needs. When the other person is not present for you, you will probably feel lonely and ignored. In fact, it’s a kind of emotional abandonment. [3] X Source of Research You deserve someone who cares about you, so it’s important to have a clear and honest conversation about how you’re feeling.
- “I’m always by your side when you’re sad, but when you need it, you don’t get my encouragement. Can we talk about this?”
- “I want the two of us to check in with each other every day to feel like we have a good relationship. Sometimes he would leave me for a few days without answering. Do you think we can improve?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/d/db/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-4.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-4.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/d/db/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-4.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-4.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
All plans have to go according to their will. Someone who loves you will have to make time for you. If your partner is always waiting for you to adjust to their schedule, it’s a sign that you’re not their priority. [4] X Research Source Try to explain that this arrangement is not convenient for you.
- “I realize you only want to hang out if that’s what you mean. But I also want us to do things that I enjoy. How do you feel?”
- “It seems like all of our dates revolve around my calendar. I’d be happy if we could start planning something that’s convenient for both of you. So can I see it?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/42/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-5.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-5.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/42/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-5.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-5.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
You haven’t met their friends or family yet. If the person you’re dating doesn’t introduce you to other close people in their life, they’re hiding. There are many reasons people hide their lovers, and some are completely innocent. For example, your lover is afraid that you do not make a good impression on their loved ones. [5] X Research Resources Talk to your partner to see if they would be willing to recommend you to family and friends.
- “I would love to go out with a group to meet your friends. How do you think?”
- “I’m planning to have a Halloween party to invite my friends over. What do you see?”
- “I feel like it’s time for us to introduce our families. Can you see it?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/88/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-6.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-6.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/88/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-6.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-6.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
They often come late or miss your appointment. Everyone’s time is precious, so being late is a sign of disrespect. [6] X Research Source However, it’s also possible that your partner is going through a tough time. Raise the issue by offering to help if they’re having a hard time.
- “I see you’ve been late to our date lately. Is everything okay with me? If you want to talk about something, I’m here.”
- “I am very sad that you did not come last Friday as scheduled. What happened?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/e/ed/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-7.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-7.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/e/ed/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-7.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-7.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
You do everything to nurture the relationship. A relationship must balance give and take. If you’re the only one who gives everything, it’s possible that your partner isn’t making you a priority. [7] X Research Source You deserve someone who gives you as much joy as you give them, so you should set your own expectations for your partner.
- “Recently, it’s all about me coming up with date ideas, so it’s kind of boring. I want you to schedule a date for us from time to time.”
- “Recently we only talk when you call or text first. Can you take the initiative to talk to me more?”
- “I feel that I am always there for you when you need me, but you are not with me. I would be very happy if you would listen to me tell my problems from time to time.”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/44/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-8.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-8.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/44/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-8.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-8.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Your lover doesn’t take your special days seriously. Every couple has a style of celebrating their anniversaries. It doesn’t have to be a big party, but it’s worth marking such occasions. [8] X Research Sources It’s possible that your partner doesn’t realize how important those days are to you. Try talking to them about what you like to do on those special occasions.
- “I don’t expect you to buy me presents every month on our first anniversary, but I would be so happy if you sent me a text saying, ‘Happy 6th anniversary together!
- “I’m so sad that you didn’t do anything on my birthday. I was hoping to at least get a greeting card or a small gift.”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/4/48/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-9.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-9.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/4/48/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-9.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-9.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
They just want sex. Moments of physical intimacy are great, but you probably need more than that. In fact, many people are only happy when they feel emotionally attached. If your relationship is based solely on sex, you may feel lonely or distant from your partner. [9] X Research Source If this is the case, ask your partner if they can be emotionally close to you.
- “I hope we are closer emotionally, not just physically. How do you feel?”
- “We get along really well about sex, but are you ready to take your relationship further?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/f/f2/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-10.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-10.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/f/f2/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-10.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-10.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
You feel like they are taking advantage of you. Sometimes your intuition is trying to tell you something. If you have a bad feeling about your relationship, perhaps your intuition is right, but it could also mean that you are just going through a rough time with your partner. If you’re feeling nervous, look out for some of the following signs that your partner is taking advantage of you: [10] X Research Source
- They are no longer interested in getting to know you anymore.
- You are afraid to reveal yourself around them.
- You feel like you have to hide your achievements.
- Their actions do not match their words.
Talk to your lover
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/5f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-11.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-11.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/5/5f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-11.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-11.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Wait until you are both calm to talk. It can be difficult to have productive conversations when you’re upset, so choose a time when you’re both comfortable raising the issue. [11] X Research Source
- “Hey man, I want to tell you something that’s making me sad.”
- “I’m happy to be with you, but there’s one thing I think it’s better to change.”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/5/57/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-12.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-12.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/5/57/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-12.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-12.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Tell your partner that you feel like you’re not being prioritized. Maybe your partner doesn’t even realize that you feel unimportant. You can turn the situation around by letting them know how you feel. On the other hand, it can help you realize that the other person can’t give you what you want right away. Either way, you should be upfront about your needs. [12] X Research Source
- “You are very important to me, but lately I feel like I am not your priority. Can we work together to improve this relationship?”
- “I think we get along too, but sometimes I feel like I’m being ignored. Are you willing to give me more priority?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a8/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-13.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-13.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a8/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-13.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-13.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Listen to your lover’s point of view. Your partner may have good reason to focus on other priorities for the time being. For example, they have a strict school or work schedule; It is also possible that they are stressed or have personal problems. Be sympathetic to what they say to you. [13] X Research Source
- Listening to and seeing your partner’s point of view is important in communication and in a healthy relationship.
- When you do not know the reason why you are not preferred by your lover, try not to ignore their behavior. Maybe the problem has nothing to do with you.
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/0/00/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-14.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-14.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/0/00/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-14.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-14.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Tell your partner about what to expect in a relationship. Your partner may think they are still meeting your needs. Be frank about what you want. You have the right to talk about your needs, sometimes your lover is even glad that you opened up to them. [14] X Research Source
- “I want you to text me more so I feel connected to you.”
- “I expect you to listen to my problems as I listen to you.”
- “I would love for you to come up with date ideas from time to time.”
- “I want us to meet each other’s friends.”
- “I would be happy if you gave me a card on special occasions.”
Be his or her priority
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/7d/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-15.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-15.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/7d/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-15.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-15.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Set healthy boundaries with your partner. Reasonable boundaries will help your partner understand what you expect and meet your needs. Write down the things you want to change in the relationship, then set boundaries with your partner. [15] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to Source
- “I don’t like phone calls just to ‘have sex’. I want to have real dates first.”
- “I won’t cancel plans to see you. I want you to arrange a time to make an appointment with me.”
- “I don’t feel comfortable when you just talk about your problems and don’t listen to me.”
- “I like that we pay together on dates or take turns. I don’t want to have to pay for it alone every time.”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/2/2f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-16.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-16.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/2/2f/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-16.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-16.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Arrange dates in advance. Your partner’s schedule can be hectic, so they need you to manage to match theirs. However, you shouldn’t give up everything to meet them. Prioritize your relationship by arranging date nights in advance so that you can adjust to both of your schedules. [16] X Research Source
- You can schedule date nights up to a month in advance so you can match your work.
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/8/88/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-17.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-17.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/8/88/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-17.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-17.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Limit the time you spend with them. Ideally, you and your partner should both give and receive equally. This means that you both have to spend a fair amount of time together. [17] X Research Source Reduce the time you spend with your partner to see if they actively change. If not, they probably can’t provide what you need.
- Plan activities that don’t include your lover and stick to it. Go out with friends, take your pet for a walk, or take online courses. Remember that your lover cannot take up all of your time.
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/7/7e/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-18.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-18.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/7/7e/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-18.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-18.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Prioritize your own needs and goals. Give yourself the time and energy you want your partner to give you. [18] X Research Resources Take care of your own emotional needs and love yourself. In addition, you should also set goals for yourself and start taking steps to achieve them.
- Try finding a hobby or taking a class.
- You can strive to get a degree or find a new job.
- Take time for self-care, such as a spa session at home.
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/1/1a/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-19.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-19.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/1/1a/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-19.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-19.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Start conversations about meaningful topics. Intimate conversations can draw you and your lover closer together and help strengthen your bond. [19] X Research Resources Let’s focus on getting to know each other more. The two of you can ask each other insightful questions about where the discussion will go.
- “Where do you want to go for your dream vacation?”
- “Do you believe there is life on other planets?”
- “What does your favorite song mean to you?”
- “Do you want a longer summer or a longer winter?”
- “What is your ideal career?”
- “What animal do you find most interesting?”
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/a/a1/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-20.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-20.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/a/a1/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-20.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-20.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Invite your lover to try new things with you. New experiences will help you bond with your lover, making your relationship stronger. [20] X Trusted Source HelpGuide Go to the source Make a list of activities you both want to try, then plan fun dates. You can try:
- Go mountain climbing
- Take cooking class
- Walk on the beach
- Come eat at a new restaurant
- Sing karaoke
- Play room escape game
- Play mystery murder investigation game
{“smallUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images_en/thumb/3/3b/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-21.jpg/v4-460px-I%27m-Not- a-Priority-Step-21.jpg”,”bigUrl”:”https://www.wikihow.com/images/thumb/3/3b/I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-21.jpg/ v4-728px-I%27m-Not-a-Priority-Step-21.jpg”,”smallWidth”:460,”smallHeight”:345,”bigWidth”:728,”bigHeight”:546,”licensing”:” <div class=”mw-parser-output”></div>”}
Express gratitude to your loved one. When you show appreciation, your partner will feel appreciated and will be more willing to cultivate a relationship with you. [21] X Source of Research Let the person know when they do something that you really enjoy. That way, you’ll not only make your partner happy, but you’ll also help reinforce the behavior you want to receive from them.
- “I was so happy to read the good morning texts you sent me.”
- “You arranged a memorable date! Thank you so much.”
- “I’m glad you listened to me tonight.”
X
This article was co-written by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Sarah Schewitz, PsyD is a psychologist with over 10 years of experience helping couples and individuals improve and change love and relationship habits. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology clinic.
There are 16 references cited in this article that you can view at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,521 times.
Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of by your lover? Perhaps you are giving more than you are receiving from your lover. When your partner treats you like an option, it doesn’t mean they don’t make you a priority in life. We’re here to help you spot the signs that you’re not your lover’s priority. Besides, we will also tell you how to talk to them and how to be a priority in their eyes.
Thank you for reading this post 10 signs that you are not your lover’s priority and how to handle it at Lassho.edu.vn You can comment, see more related articles below and hope to help you with interesting information.
Related Search: